Burned. Out.

I got myself a new bag from Lettoria (cuz they seem to be going out of business and it was on MEGA sale). I took it to Mass the other day. A lady came and sat next to me in the pew. I was wearing black leggings and my boho top (kinda tie dye white/brown/black). Very flowy. ANY way, after Mass she complimented my bag and we chatted a bit. She asked if I'm goth. Honestly, I've never categorized myself as a goth. Do I find beauty in the dark and macabre? Yeah. Do I ever do the "goth" makeup? No. Too much work. Do I mainly wear black? Not so much these days. Sometimes the only black is from the strap on my fitness tracker. Maybe the straps on my sandals. Anyway, I always found labels to be too constricting. So I ask you... am I goth? Or do I just have Gothic tendencies? What really IS a goth? 

The bag in question. Named her Lucy cuz I feel like it's the kind of bag J would have named. 😁 I love her. 

Then on Monday I got to work and opened the present A sent me...

She says she ordered it in black. I 100% believe that she ordered it in black. Am I ESTATIC at the looks I'm gonna get when I whip this out of Lucy and use tap to pay? YES, YES I BLOODY WELL AM!! Am I planning a fairy costume centered around this colorful star of whimsy? You bet your butt!! Is it one of the best things I've ever been gifted? Darn tootin'!! Hehe.

Now that all the grants have been submitted, I can 100% say that May was one of the MOST stressful working months I've EVER experienced. Back from vacation and BOOM! Joint commission. BOOM! All the rural Texas strong grants are announced with less than a month to apply. BOOM! Multiple 50+ page RFAs with ALL the criteria. Just pile it on, I got it. Sigh. 5 from the same grantor but 1 had a MASSIVLEY different application than the others, but all were fairly similar while being JUUUUST different enough. And we aren't talking small monies, here. I think just knowing that I'm the only one with access to all the systems, and if we didn't get one in it would be on me added to the stress. The6 did end up extending some due dates, but it was a LOT. Then last week's persistent sinus issue on top of it all just wore me down. I felt like Sisyphus with his rock. So now, the rock has fallen down again and I'm enjoying my walk down the mountain. 😁 or I paused at the top and am filling my lungs for a primal SCREAM before I go back down. Cuz I'm burned out. Burned. Out. Or as one of my coworkers put it, "you can tell you've lost your fun." Yeah, too much all at once. Chaos. So. Many. Meetings. Keeping SOMEONE on track with what is ALLOWED. Partnerships. Baseline data. Talk of hiring me a helper. Talk of moving my office. Emails requesting quotes. Building budgets. Making the budget work with "spend cycles." Tasks to complete. Addendums that ALL need to be signed and included with application. I suspect the state knew how much stress they put everyone under cuz the fireworks when you submit the application ALMOST gave enough dopamine to forgive them the HORROR of the tight schedule. My CEO is not allowed to say "grant" to me for a WEEK. 

I've been enjoying getting back to the other part of my job (you know, the Quality part), and kinda had to remind myself how to do it. Unfortunately on Wednesday a web site that I have to use decided it didn't want to work for me, which was crazy, and OF COURSE even tho I put the website address in the email TWICE the rep came back with "make sure you used xxx site, copy and paste this EXACT SAME BLOODY URL and let me know." Shock of shocks, SAME BLOODY PROBLEM. I really, really LOATHE when someone assumes I'm just bloody STUPID and THATS the problem. I even SAID I checked with my IT guy. Nada. But sure, tell me you think I'm stupid without telling me you think I'm stupid. Now im burned out and full of rage. JUST the right mix to go into a meeting about issues with the EHR. 🙄 My next substantial time off will be around my bday. Hopefully weekends will sustain me until then. Ok. Work rant over. On to the fun stuff. 

Thursday hubbs and I celebrated the end of the grant madness with Torchys tacos and a marg. Then we went to HEB to wander and do some light grocery shopping. Hubbs was able to get his bfast for his bday! On friday we got up and puttered around. We ended up ordering pizzq from joes pizza, pasta, and subs. It was SO GOOD!! I think we have a new favorite. We weren't sure if we'd have people over on Saturday, so we cleaned just to be sure. 😁 Saturday we went to the farmers market and picked up the cinnamon rolls I bought for out friends. Then we finished cleaning and went to frescoes cocina! Then we wandered Geek Out and went to Twisted Sisters for dessert. Then wandered to Eagle Point for drinks to end the evening. It was a good time.

Frescoes

Twisted Sisters

Eagle Point. Much fun. Hubbs had a good time 😁

So, hubby is a year older, we had a good weekend with lots of relaxing and seeing friends, and tomorrow its back to business as usual. The apt is nice and clean, tho. Hehe.

Ace was being a cutie as I was trying to read. 

I hope all of you are having a good start to your summer. Much love, MUAH! 😘