One of the things that I've come to realize is that a work-life balance is important. When I interviewed for my job, my bosses stressed that they understand that and work toward making sure that their employees are able to have a life outside of work. They do a great job of making sure I have plenty of time off... I'm the one who sucks at balancing things.
Example: I have a 2nd, online job... my brain gremlins mess with me when I'm working because stepping away from my computer somehow feels like I'm playing hookey. I'm not going to take out bathroom breaks from my billable time, and yet my brain is going 'are you suuuuure?' What the hell, man?! There's ethical billing and then there's damn stupid... why does my brain want to be stupid?!? I took a break one day in the middle of my online work day and somehow felt like I was being deceitful... I didn't bill for that hour, and yet my gremlins are saying 'you are working, so you should be WORKING.' I don't know... actually that's not true, I do know. This is totally new to me, so I'm 100% freaked out about somehow screwing it up. Same thing at the liquor store - I've never been a manager before, so I've been freaking out about making sure everything is done right.
So here's me, scared of screwing up at both jobs... then I'm also waiting on an email that may or may not ever come... and waiting on emails back from 2nd job... and trying to maintain my sanity... and... and... and... no wonder I've been a stressed out mess this week. UGH - so much out of my control... not even my tummy, which has decided to be a bit of a jerk lately.
With all this in mind, I'm running away this weekend. I'm going to WA to spend some time with my sis. Fuel shortage be damned, I need some seester time! I'm going to drive there on Thurs, stay Fri and Sat, come home on Sun, and be back to work on Mon. Quick trip, but I think the time in the car and with the sis will be good for my brain. Maybe the gremlins will calm down, too. Anyway, just wanted to give you a quick update on my situation - it's been a roller coaster of emotion this past week and I don't see it ending anytime soon. Apparently it can take 7-8 weeks to know... not the 6-7 I had thought... sigh. Much love, MUAH! :*
