My thoughts on love (and Happy New Year)

As we look toward 2020, the 20's, and all that life is bringing us, we tend to also look back: back on the 2010's, the past year, our lives, and see how far we've come.  With that in mind, I've been wrestling with my thoughts on love/dating/relationships.  I've been trying to figure out how to explain my thoughts about it in this messed up, online trash fire of a dating world.  I know a lot of people think I'm super cynical (and I am) but I'm a cynical romantic.  I do believe in real love, but I don't think that people know or understand what real love is.  So I'm going to try to untangle the web of my thoughts here, come along with me if you dare.

Love in this age has become watered down until it is only regarded as a feeling.  When you first meet someone and fall in love, it's exciting, it's fun, etc.  Over time, the feeling fades, you decide that you have 'fallen out' of love, and you move on - searching for that feeling again.  This usually causes hurt.  Added to this is the excitement of swiping on people's profiles and the (somewhat mistaken) belief that there is 'something/someone better' out there.  It's addicting to swipe on a picture, and it's so easy to forget that (usually) there is a person behind the profile.  That's another thing that seems watered down - people are forgetting that we are all... people.  People are treating people as things - vessels of pleasure or means to get the attention that we all crave.  The dating world is like a cauldron of toxic sludge where a few try like hell to shine out, but ultimately are tarnished by the environment they find themselves in.  (Disclaimer - I know that some websites are great for finding your future spouse, but this is based on my own experiences and thoughts.)  It's this kind of 'love' that I am cynical about.  The self-serving, 'I'll keep you as long as you fulfill a need, but I'll keep one eye on other options because there's bound to be someone else better looking/more fulfilling out there' kind of love.  The worst part is, I don't think people are actually aware of their motivations - people are not given to introspection, in my experience.

With all this being said, I do believe in love as a verb.  I believe in the act of loving.  The love that wants the good of the beloved.  The love that puts the other in front of the self.  The love that is worth fighting for.  The love that has been tried and tested and has triumphed every time.  I believe in the love that starts as a feeling and becomes a decision - the decision to stay with the beloved through all the ups and downs, through feeling loving toward them and wanting to strangle them.  The decision to deal with the snoring, the messiness, the hormones, the good, the bad, and the (occasionally) ugly.  I know many couples that I could tell you about who are truly loving - and that's the kind of love that I'm holding out for.  The love that accepts me for who I am, but that wants me to be the best version of myself.  The love that is willing to know me and grow with me.  The love that, in this age, is hard to find.  Maybe when I decide I want to get married I'll try one of those better websites... or maybe I'll turn 40 and my sis will get me my cat lady starter kit (at least 3 kittens).

So besides not being ready, what keeps me from actively searching for this love?  Well, my problem is projects.  I like to help people - it's one of the reasons I wanted to be a psychologist/bartender.  The thing is, I don't want my man to be a project.  I have to remind myself constantly that I'm not here to fix/change people.  Recognizing this fact means that I need to be careful of my own motivations.  Do I want to help a friend because it will really help them or because it's an ego boost for me?  Are my theories about this behavior correct or crap?  Do I give unsolicited advice (not usually on this one, because unsolicited advice makes me see red when it's given to me)?  The biggest question here is 'Do I want to help this person because it will benefit them or do I want them to change to more of the ideal that I have in my own head?'  I think I've written about the 'ideal' issue in dating before, and I try really hard to guard against that in my own experiences.  Being a helper in the dating toxic sludge cauldron is dangerous for my own mental health.  Add to that my natural introversion, aversion to small talk, tendency toward sarcasm in uncomfortable situations, the fact that I'm in Korea, and you see why the dating experiment fizzled out.  Perhaps I'll try again when I get back to the states.  Anything is possible, after all.

I was talking to J a while ago and she said something that it also probably part of my problem.  She said, "You either don't care about someone at all or you'll kill for them.  There's no real in-between with you."  She's right - once I consider someone to be 'my' person, I care for them fiercely.  It's gotten me burned before, so I'm generally really cautious about who I consider to be 'mine.'  If I feel this way, this protective, about my friends... it kind of scares me to think how I would be with a romantic partner.  I think that's part of why I tend toward caution with guys - if I'm going to 'go all in' with someone, they better be someone worth going all in with.  That's also a part of how I love.  I will protect you, I will fight for you, I will build you up, and I will help you to become the best version of you.  If you're looking for someone who won't call you on your BS, who will blindly believe everything that you tell them, and won't point out your contradictions - you don't want me as your friend.  Since I care deeply, I've been hurt deeply... so caution is the watchword for me.

I keep on asking another one of my friends 'what do you want?' when it comes to dating.  He eventually asked me the same thing.  I've thought about it a lot and it comes down to this - I want someone who chooses me.  Someone who makes an effort, who sees me as worth that effort (J pointed out that I was describing verb love here).  Someone who would be a good partner to build a life with.  If I don't ever find that person, I'll be fine on my own, too.  As long as I have my friends, my family, and my eventual 50,000 cats (LOL) I'm good.  Which leads me to my final thought on love.  As much as we are all looking for it, the most important love is usually neglected - learning to love ourselves.  I really think that until someone is OK with who they are as a person, they won't be able to truly love another.

My last thought on this subject is one of possible self-destruction.  Staying on good terms with those who have rejected you romantically can totally mess with your head.  On the one hand, I want to ask what it was about me that made them decide to pursue others.  On the other hand, no answer would make me feel any better.  If they say that I'm too (insert adjective here) then what do I do with that?  I'm not going to change or hide aspects of my personality in order to make myself more palatable.  If it's an appearance issue, then you KNOW where they can shove that.  Any vague 'I just don't feel that way toward you' is maddening because it really answers nothing.  I guess what I'm saying is that the worst part of rejection is the lack of reason.  That's it - there's often no real REASON.  I am a fan of saying that I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and I'd rather be someone's favorite whiskey anyway.  There is a part of me that wants to find the person who can appreciate the complexities of my whiskey.  The metal head, the sweetheart, the giver, the fighter, the Catholic, the reader, the movie/book nerd, the ren fair queen, the chef, the minimalist (books excepted), the sometimes emotional, bitchy, we-need-a-new-plague complexities of Mandi.  I'm not stupid, I know that's going to require being more open to meeting people and facing many more rejections... and that thought exhausts me.  Finding someone to relate to at all is so difficult - perhaps that's why I tend to hold on to those who 'get' me at all.  I can relate to S and J on different levels regarding different things, and I am SO grateful for both of them... living in Korea would be a lot harder without them.

So you see, I am a cynical romantic.  And a realistic idealist.  I am a beautiful contradiction who is quite comfortable being free from the cauldron of toxic sludge (I'm quite proud of coming up with that description), but who knows that I'll have to go back in if I ever want to try to find my Catholic metal head.  I will hold on to my old-fashioned notions of what real love is meant to be and maybe someday I'll meet another old-fashioned soul.  In the meantime, I have another year in Korea to enjoy and learn more about myself specifically and humanity in general.  Also if heavy metal speed dating ever becomes a thing, I'm totally going!

Now some reflections on the past 10 years.  As I was working on some of my issues that have prevented me from seeking healthy relationships, I also accomplished a lot of my goals.  I went to Europe, I got my Master's degree, and now I'm living overseas in South Korea.  I've maintained strong friendships with amazing people, I've grown closer to my family all over the US, and I've gauged how much I've healed from my horrible experiences with men.  I got a job at a rural hospital that taught me so much about healthcare in the US, what it's like to have an amazing boss and wonderful co-workers, how you can really look forward to work because the people make it great.  I've learned to love myself - all of myself.  The thing about that is I'm unwilling to settle for someone who only kind of wants me around.  I don't want someone who has one eye on me and one eye on his phone, looking for someone hotter/better.  I don't think that's too much to ask.

As we head into the new decade, I'm cautiously hopeful.  I'm planning on turning my international experience into a job that will allow more travel, more experiences in living in other countries.  I plan to utilize my masters degree, continue toward my goal of working for the US gov or the UN, and if I find love along the way, then great.  There is a part of me that really wants that... probably the part I usually drown in (insert alcohol here).  In the meantime, I'll continue to love my friends, my family, every dog that I see, random moments that remind me how great life is, myself, and my God.  MUAH! :*  Love to all of you, readers.  Well done getting this far in my ramblings... whew ;)

Work Stuff

So before Christmas we had a Market Day for the kids - depending on how many stickers they had, they would get 'cash' to spend.  We also took pictures with the kids and our April mascot, Vena.  So I thought I'd share the pix of a few of my classes with you.

This is my first class on MWF - the level is Sprout 1, which means that they can understand me for the most part, and I've some rather cheeky devils in this class.  

 This is my first Sapling 1 class - I have a lot of fun with these guys.  They can be pretty rambunctious.  I have two more Sapling 1 classes on MWF, but we didn't get a pic with them.  The class I have after this one is the one with my most vocal students.  I have about 4 boys in that class who started with joking about killing Amanda Teacher, now they are killing other students.  It's all in good fun, which is why I haven't had a problem with it.  After that class I have one on my own, and we didn't get a pic with Vena that day.  Which is a shame, because that's the class that I have the most fun with.  I get to be super drama queen teacher and they love it.

This is my first Tue-Thurs class, and my co-teacher L is in this pic, too.  The level is Seedbed 2 which means that they kinda understand some of what I say, but not everything.  They are REALLY good at mimicking me, though, so they can say 'stop speaking Korean' really well.  LOL.  These guys are sooo cute and I've 2 that are HUGE handfuls.

After this class I have 2 other ones that I didn't get pix with.  One of the classes can be challenging to make sure they do their work and the other class is the one with my artistic student in it.  I love that class, mostly because the problem child is scared of C, my co-teacher, so he's been super chilled out lately.  

I'll have these same classes until the beginning of March when we start a new semester.  January looks like it's gonna be a busy month - we have our immersion program and a week's vacation in the middle of it.  I GET TO SEE MY SEESTER AND BRO IN LAW IN JANUARY!!!  I'm trying to plan for our visit, but my hairdresser told me to try not to go anywhere over the Chinese new year because traffic is going to be terrible.  Sigh... we may have to chance it... we'll see what happens.  I just know that I'm super excited to HUG MY SEESTER!!!

The last thing I wanted to share with you is an excerpt from one of the kid's writing notebooks.  He's gone from killing Amanda Teacher, to Amanda Teacher killing everyone to this.  I thought it was super sweet.  He's also decided that killing Amanda Teacher isn't fun/funny anymore, so he seems to be looking for a new schtick.  I'm interested to see what he comes up with - and yeah, he's one of my favorites.  Also, he now can spell my name... it used to be Ahmanda Teacher.  LOL

"Dear Amanda Teacher, I am going to tell you about the popular traditional Korea holiday of Teacher's Day because I am thank you for teaching us very good.  Teachers day is on May 15th 2020.  It is to celebrate teachers who teach us.  I will tell you the details."

Christmas in Korea

So last night after work, J, I, M(H) and myself all went to Myeongdong to the cathedral for Midnight Mass.  We got there and saw these beautiful roses all leading up to the cathedral.  Then we took some pictures at the nativity scene (sans Jesus, cuz you know it wasn't midnight yet).  The cathedral itself was packed, and I think there were at least 4 rooms full of people for overflow.  We ended up in an auditorium.  We had to split up into 2 groups of 2, so I and J sat together, and M(H) and myself were together.  The guy who sat next to me had a great singing voice, as well.  The Mass was in Korean, which we expected.  However, toward the end (before the final blessing) the (I think) Cardinal said (in English) "A special welcome to the foreigners who are here, Merry Christmas to you."  It was really nice.  So at midnight there was a procession to place Jesus in the manger outside, then we had Mass.  We were done by about 1:30 am, then got a taxi which was AMAZING because the driver was a FAST driver (115 mph was the top speed) and it was soooo much fun.  We all got home by about 2:30.

 No baby

 J looking oh so cute!

 Me... trying... do my eyes look any bigger to you?!?!

 Merry Christmas in multiple languages.

 All of the native English speakers at J's for Christmas breakfast.

It was a good day.  I've been drinking, eating, and watching movies... saving Emmit Otter for tomorrow cuz J says that's the movie she and her dad watch on Boxing Day... so we're gonna watch it on Boxing Day. 

It's been a good, chill Christmas.  I wish all of you a happy, healthy, blessed, and Merry Christmas.  I love you all and am sending huge hugs from the other side of the world.

Hot Springs, hold the sulfur

So it turns out that the hot springs here don't smell like sulfur, the way the ones back home do.  Guess these aren't caused by the same thing the ones in Thermop are.  Anyway, let me tell you about my weekend.

On Saturday, I got up at 8:15, figuring to leave by 8:45, which would get me to the metro, then to the pick-up in Osan by 9:50.  For those who are wondering, I have to take a bus to the metro, and it takes about 20-30 mins depending on traffic and how insane the bus driver is feeling.  The touring company was quite explicit about what happens if you are late - they don't wait.  So imagine my minor freak-out when the app on my phone told me that the train wouldn't come until 9:35, so I wouldn't get to my stop until 9:45, leaving me about 5 mins to find the pick-up point and hope that the bus wasn't early.  I need not have worried.  Not only did the train come at 9:22, but when I found the bus (walked right past it at first, came back and saw the sign in the front), we sat for a good 20 mins waiting for people to trickle in.  I think that bus was only for that one pick-up spot... and most of my bus mates were quite definitely from the Air Force base.

Anyway, since I was on my own, I ended up sitting with the lady from the touring company.  We talked most of the way to the hot springs.  She's been here for 6 years and is originally from VA.  It was a nice chat.  We got to the spa after about an hour or so driving (everything seems to take an hour or so in Korea... don't ask me why).

At the spa, they got the guys tickets, then the ladies tickets.  To get in, you had to scan your ticket, then you went to the shoe locker area.  The number on your ticket was the number of your locker.  That part was a lot like a jimjilbang - you locked your shoes in, took the key, and that key would open your locker in the changing room.  The key went around your wrist or arm - no chance to leave it somewhere.  Here's the difference - the key was also your charge card for the day.  If you wanted to buy food or drinks, you touched the key to a special pad and at the end of the day you paid before you got your shoes.  It was really interesting.  (Full disclosure, that could have been exactly like a jimjilbang - when I went we soaked, slept, and left.  Food and drink did not happen.)

I decided not to wear my suit top because it REALLY doesn't look good and/or fit anymore.  So I wore my bottoms and a bra-let that I brought with me with a Jimmy Hendrix tank top from S over it.  I dare say, it looked quite good.  I did order a suit from Amazon to be sent to Mo so that she'll bring it when she comes to visit in A MONTH!!!

Speaking of jimjilbangs, part of the spa was like a jimjilbang in that if you wanted to soak in pools all naked with other ladies, you could.  If you wanted to wear a swimming suit and go into the mixed area, you could do that too.  That's what I did.  I got in and made a bee line for where I saw bubbles... I sat for about 30 mins enjoying the jets on my back, legs, and feets.  Then I wandered outside to a warmer pool and met a bunch of people.  One of them, M, was someone that I had met when I went with this group for the autumn leaves hike.  She and I ended up hanging out the rest of the day.  So we soaked there for a bit, then decided to check out the bar.  The pool that lead to the bar was COLD!  I think they did that on purpose so that people wouldn't stay there and drink all day.  After that I went for the warm pool again.  Before we left, we checked out the dry sauna for a while.  Then we decided to jet out since we had to leave by 4.  We ended up hanging out for a bit (of course I had my kindle with me, so I was able to read more of The Stand).  Then it was back to the Osan stop, onto the metro, onto the bus, walking home.  Genius that I am, I forgot to bring a plastic bag for my wet stuff, so I had to carry that all the way home.  I was so happy to be able to hang it up and warm up my hands!

So once I got home and had something to eat, I decided that it might be a good idea to go grocery shopping.  I went to Emart and got most of the staples that I use.  For fresh stuff I'll hit up some of the smaller marts around.  I also splurged (cuz Christmas) and bought myself a bottle of Jameson.  I blame Godsmack... I listened to 'Whiskey Hangover' on Friday.  OH!  Also on Friday, my order from Holy Clothing came in - that's right, I got my Celtic looking shirt and dress on Friday!  I washed them on Friday night and they're finishing drying now... stay tuned for pix.

And that was my Saturday... on to Sunday.

Sunday I met up with M(C) at 10:00 to head into Seoul.  He was on a mission for a book, so I took him to Itaewon Foreign Bookstore.  It was fun, even though he didn't find the book.  We had coffee until it was time for my haircut.  I went to get that done and then met up with S at McDonald's (what IS it with guys at that place?!).  We ended up at a lip syncing competition that his girlfriend was in.  After that we all went for dinner at Vatos.  So Sunday was pretty chill.  Now I get to look forward to midnight Mass at the cathedral on Tuesday night, Christmas b-fast at J's place on Wed, then a day of watching movies in my pj's.  :)  I am excited, it turns out that S has 3 cans of Hatch green chili's, so guess who gets to make some red chili soon!  Hehehee... I may need to go on a hunt for chili powder.  I know where I can get some jalapenos... FOOD, glorious FOOD!

 One of the performers for the lip sync.

 This lady didn't seem to be doing much lip syncing, but her performance was IMPRESSIVE.

I was photobombed by one of the winners of the catwalk competition.  She was super nice, and I could NOT get over her HAIR (yes, it's a wig).

All in all, it was a good weekend.  I'm making some beef stew at the moment, trying a new 'recipe' which is me throwing stuff in a pot until it smells good.  If it takes 2 hours to simmer, I'm not eating until midnight or so, which is ok honestly.  Tomorrow we head to Meyongdong for Midnight Mass at the cathedral.  Will keep you updated on how that goes. 

ABX for ALL!

The good news is that my MMR vaccine is in fact still working and I do not in fact have the mumps.  I don't know what I have other than 'inflammation' of my salivary glands (insert sarcastic comment here).  I'm blaming yellow dust, a weakened immune system, and bad friggin' luck.  The best news is that my face is back to normal.  I have no problem admitting that waking up with my face and neck swollen up and having problems breathing was the most scared I've ever been in Korea.  The doc gave me another 4 days of medication and said that she thinks that will take care of it.  I'm skeptical, so if it's not gone by Sunday afternoon, I'll be going back to the doc on Monday.

 In this pic I'm still all swollen, but feeling better and hanging out with Ford Feline.  Hehehe.

Spotted on my way to work from the hospital.  Sigh... I miss seeing these more often.  There's a lot of Mustangs in Korea, but this is only about the 2nd Camaro I've seen. 

So like a responsible person, I rescheduled my haircut for Sunday at 1pm.  On Saturday I'm going to go soak in a German-style hot spring, and I'm hoping that it will sooth my sore muscles and maybe even help the swelling go down.  The dress and shirt that I ordered on Black Friday should be coming in this week, so stay tuned for my modeling of the Celtic-y goodness.  Ummm... what else... I deleted the dating app from my phone - frankly it's more trouble than it's worth.  Turns out, I don't like when people I just met try to tell me how I should live my life.  Go figure, huh? 

So I'll have a more exciting blog post after the weekend, probably.  I'm having a hard time believing that next month is January!  However, that means I get to see my SEESTER and bro-in-law, so I'm excited and happy.

Being sick sucks

So here's the thing, I won't actually know what this crap is until Tuesday when I go for my follow up at the hospital.  I went to the hospital in Dongtan that has an international health department.  Since I was a new patient for the ENT doc, I wasn't able to get on the list to see them until after their lunch break.  That's right, in Korea doctors and nurses take an hour lunch break all at the same time - not staggered like in the states.  During that hour, you are officially SOL to see anyone.  Thank God the hospital had free wifi.

Anyway, I went in and the doc spoke good English.  I was able to tell her all of my symptoms with a voice that was kinda breaking.  She looked down my throat and felt the swelling in my jaw and neck.  She said that she'd have to order a blood test to see if it was the mumps, but in the meantime she could diagnose laryngitis.  She said she'd prescribe me 5 days of antibiotics, anti-inflammatories, and I think the other one was to help calm my stomach.  She also prescribed a gargle.  She said it will be about 5 days for the blood work to come back, so I should come back for a follow up in 5 days.  She also said if the symptoms get worse to come in sooner.  She also said to drink plenty of fluids - cuz that is the real cure-all as far as I can tell.  Apparently dehydration could be an issue.  She said that I could probably work as long as I wore a mask because she didn't know if I was contagious or not.

Here's the newest meds.

Now I went to the doc a little late in the day, so I was late to work.  I walked in, signed in, talked to my boss, signed out, and went home.  LOL.  On the way home I stopped by a CU to get soup and gimbap.  I figured those would be soft enough that I could eat them without having a lot of pain.  I then binged watched the last of season 12 of the Big Bang Theory.  After that, I watched The Fellowship of the Ring.  Then I went to sleep.  Woke up this morning at about 7am having trouble breathing.  I think my throat has gotten so swollen that anything getting caught (think nasty crap from sinuses) acts like a real obstruction.  It took a while to get whatever it was dislodged.  I have to tell you, it's pretty scary thinking that your body is rebelling against you to the point where it's trying to choke you!  Anyway, I got up and had toast and an apple slice for b-fast, took my meds, and called my friend Ana.  We talked until it was time for me to leave.  My voice sounded ok for the most part, only got a bit weird once or twice.  I think that bodes well for work today.

So I'm working today.  I have my scarf and my mask, but I'm pretty sure the kids will have questions.  I have my afternoon meds with me, and my bosses are trying to figure out how to give me a couple breaks during the day.  Here's the thing - yes, sick leave isn't really a thing here.  However, both of my bosses have been so amazing about this crap.  I told my H.I. that I was going to the hospital, she told KA and A, so everyone knew what was up.  When I got in, I talked to A and she sent me home.  Today I came in and talked to KA who told me she was going to see if she could cover my last class of the day so that I could go home early.  She seemed surprised that my voice was ok, so perhaps that won't be necessary.

None of the kids seemed to think it was weird that I was wearing a mask today, and between that and the scarf, none seemed to care.  Until my 4th class, that is.  To give you an idea, this is the class where one of the students tells me if he's going to kill me every MWF.  It's full of strong English speaking kids with so much personality and sass... I love it.  Anyway, I walk in and one of the students (one of my favorites) looks at me and says "Teacher, your face looks... not good."  I laughed and told her I knew that.  She said L teacher told them that my face and neck were swollen.  So then I got "We want to see your face and neck!"  I explained to them that I would not be taking off my mask because I didn't know if I was contagious and I didn't want to get them sick (and yes, I had to explain 'contagious').  After that class, my last one was covered and so I was able to go home a bit early.  Also my boss A brought me some Korean porridge, which was interesting.  I had to doctor it some when I got home, but it was nice not to have to chew it.  The jaw is a bit better, so I'm hoping to have pizza on Sunday.

Here's the porridge - the funny thing was, J and I were just talking about this and how people in the US don't use that word.  We either have soup or stew, that's pretty much it.  The only time I've ever used 'porridge' is when I'm talking about Goldilocks and the 3 bears.

Here's the gimbap I decided to get.  It also doesn't require a whole lot of chewing - this is the pork and kimchi kind.  And yes, there was more of it, I didn't think to take a pic until I'd already eaten a bunch.

So now we're officially into the weekend.  I'm planning on taking my meds, being lazy, and maybe going to the grocery store and/or pizza place.  I'm going to watch the next 2 Lord of the Rings, Hogfather, and also at least Die Hard.  I've cancelled my hair cut because I have no desire to be seen with 'puffy face' and frankly I don't think day drinking and taking my meds is a good combo.  Guess that's just going to have to wait for another weekend.  Hehe.  I don't know if the swelling has actually gone down or if it's just wishful thinking, but I do know that the pain isn't as bad.  I hope that I don't have the throat obstruction issue tonight, but if I do there's not much I can do about it.  I've been drinking a TON of water, and trying like Hell to put a happy spin on things.  I think I look like Steve Carrell in his fat suit in Get Smart... but only from the neck up.  We'll see what Monday brings, and in the meantime any prayers or thoughts you can send my way are appreciated.  Much love to all, will update you on my condition next week.

Never google your symptoms

It's been a long couple of weeks that started with a sore throat and runny nose.  I figured I could kick this with the Sudafed from home, some Equate cold and sinus, tissues for blowing my nose, and hot tea/water.  I was wrong.  I woke up this AM with a cold sore on my lip (also known as a fever blister) and a swollen/painful face.  That's right, my jaw line is swollen, so I look like my face is shaped like a damn PEAR!  I took some ibuprofen for it this AM, that did nothing.  Ran into one of my Korean co-teachers, K, before work today and he said 'I had a dream about you last night.'  Apparently in his dream I was at his house for some reason.  I told him that I needed to see the doc, and we signed into work and went.  The doc speaks good English, I told him all my symptoms and that they've lasted about 2 weeks.  He told me it's bronchitis and he'd prescribe 3 days of meds.  Even though the doc speaks English, the ladies at the pharmacy didn't, so I'm glad I had K with me.  This is also why I always go to him with all of my health-related needs.

Now, in the states, 3 days of meds would not be nearly enough.  In Korea, I'm tempted to say that it'll be plenty.  I'm pretty sure that they have some strong meds here.  Anyway, I have 9 packets of 3-4 pills that I'm to take morning, noon, and night, along with 9 antibiotics, and 9 packages of cough syrup, which I was told can make people drowsy, so wait until night for that one.  As always, I'm shocked/loving the cost - less than $10 for the doc visit and meds. 

So here's hoping that I'll finally feel better.  The thing is, I googled my swollen jaw this AM and then remembered why you NEVER GOOGLE YOUR SYMPTOMS!  It had everything from clenching your jaw during sleep to syphilis to cancer.  If Google doesn't tell you that you are dying in some way, are you even really sick?!  Anyway, I guess my 2 weekends of staying home and resting didn't do the trick like I was hoping.  I'll be done with the meds by Sat, so I can still make my haircut appt.  I've decided to see what Jay thinks about doing a slightly different cut so that I don't look quite so much like my dad.  He told me that I just need to part my hair on the 'right' side.  Sigh.  Never saw it until my aunt pointed it out - now I can't unsee it.

Anyway, I don't want to show you what I look like with a swollen jaw, let's just say that when your job involves talking all day, it SUCKS to be sick.  My jaw hurts, my ears hurt, my nose seems to be ok at the moment, but it's red from blowing it all the time... I'm looking forward to having Indian food with J and then going home and passing out.

Update - woke up this morning and the swelling in my face and neck were worse.  I think it might be the mumps, in which case there's not much I can do about this... but it hurts, SO BAD!!!!!

Lazy weeks/weekends

Hello... not much happening here.  I had to share some stuff, tho.  Here's why I'm so glad that my mom sent my sweaters - I look cute in cold weather!

So teaching kids is really fun and can be quite hilarious.  In the same week, I get to have great interactions with them and then slightly disconcerting interactions with them.  I had to take 2 pics this past week.  The first was on the back of one of my students review quizzes.

How sweet is that?!  Now this next one was part of the lesson where the kids have to come up with their own paragraph using 'chunks' which are phrases from their lesson.

"Daniel has a dark side.  Daniel cause sleeping problems and Amanda teacher can't sleep.  When he need to do homework he kill teacher.  Amanda teacher die many time."  I had to laugh at this because Daniel had a bunch of sentences where every subject was 'Amanda teacher.'  Remember when people tell you kids can be brutal - it's universal.  The more twisted they are, the more I enjoy that class.  And FYI, there's one girl in that particular class that has assured me that she will NEVER kill me. 

We also got our immersion sweaters, which I think makes us look like muppets.

I am Mandi Monster.  I am also versed in Avenue Q and during a lesson where someone said that you can't believe everything you read on the internet... I got 'The Internet is for Porn' stuck in my head. 

Korea is cold, so I am staying in and being lazy.  I made some great stew the other day, had J over, and we watched The Holiday.  I made the stew without a slow cooker, which was a first.

I think next time I'm going to use cream of mushroom soup with the rest, put it in the toaster with some stuffing on top, and maybe even have 3 people over... as long as they all bring their own bowls and spoons... and if they want wine, their own glasses as well.  I could entertain people with a full set of dishes in TX, but Korea is more than slightly different.  LOL.  I think it'll be good to have the beef stew with the stuffing on top - so yummy.

So really there's not much going on here.  It was super cold this last week, so most of my time was spent bundling up and then getting into my skull and crossbones pj pants and Hogfather hoodie when I get home.  I've been cooking a lot because I don't want to go out and then have to come home when it's even colder.  Yay for having food to cook. 

First snowfall

One of my favorite things about J is that she is so unabashedly enthusiastic about things.  Take today, for example.  I looked out my window and saw the snow and went 'aw crap!'  I then proceeded to complain to someone in WY... which wasn't the best idea because they just got DUMPED on.  LOL.  However, I put on my thermals, figured out what to wear (layers my friend, layers), grabbed my hat and gloves and headed out.  I was walking to the park where J and I meet every morning to walk in to work and there she was... biggest smile on her face, in her pink (I call it her marshmallow) coat, with her Pooh Bear umbrella, loving the snow for all she was worth.  It was so... wholesome.  Granted the snow was also the pretty kind that floated down and didn't try to kill you as you walked thru it.  We walked to work instead of getting the bus because someone thought it was just so romantic.  That's right... she's a romantic.  She's seeing Hallmark movies and I'm seeing the Shining.  LOL.  I am truly blessed to have her in my life.

Sometimes it's hard to remember that things I take for granted (and sometimes consider a nuisance) can be new and magical to someone else.  I am so thankful to know J because she sometimes chips away at the core of my cynicism.  She also forces me to be social, which is a bit of a double-edged sword, but also is a good thing.  Frankly, the Lord knew what He was doing when he brought the 2 of us together.

So here's what I went with - layered tank top, shrug, and scarf.

Then my job gave us these sweaters for January's immersion and I have to tell you... this is the softest, most comfy, sleep-in-the-classroom sweater I've ever worn.  I don't even mind the color.  I love comfort items in the wintertime.  INFINITE COMFORT!!!  So here's a pic of all the teachers in my branch.  We're a good bunch.

Finally, please enjoy this picture which is the view from my classroom and made me feel all kinds of warm and cozy.

So while I'm still missing home and Tuesdays are still days from Hades in my world, it was a good one.  My throat is feeling much better, which is nice.  I think tonight I'll have the pasta and wine that I had planned for yesterday.  Also, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the chicken from the chicken cup lady is also good for sore throats.  It's SOOO GOOOD!!!  Then tomorrow is Indian food night with J, and the rest of the week I'll figure out what I want to eat and what my budget is.  I'm thinking this might be the weekend that I make beef stew and have people over to help eat it.  Or I try to make beef stew for 2 instead of 20... we'll see.

I have decided that if snow and ice are going to be a thing, I need to see about getting better boots for the winter.  The ones that I have are great but not exactly what you want when you're dealing with snow.  So that's right... a shopping I shall go, a shopping I shall go, why oh why must I go a shopping I shall go.  Sigh... lol.

Pot luck and calls home

I have to say, I love living in an age where we can have video chats across the world.  I have been able to see and talk to my dad as well as Gma and Gpa, and on Sunday Jess and I had a video chat date.  Then there's the phone calls.  I've talked to my older sister twice this week, and Ana, and Mom.  Thank God we don't have to wait for physical letters to arrive.  I may not be able to be home for certain things, but I can at least see and talk to those I love.  I also love checking in with Ana on her crazy family - or as I call them, my Mexican family.

Friday we had a pot luck at work.  I brought buffalo chicken tortilla roll ups... or as I'm calling them, Texas Gimbap.  Gimbap is kind of like a Korean sushi roll, only bigger and with meat that is usually cooked.  I think I confused one of my co-teachers because he apparently didn't get the memo that I lived in TX for 12 years before coming to Korea.  I still miss the pot lucks we had in Medical Records at GRMC.  Those were EPIC!  It was also so nice to have people to try new recipes out on.  I wish I could have made my Philly cheese steak sliders, but that may have been a little too much of a pain in the bum.  I am planning on making some beef stew sometime in Dec, and will have people over for that.  Since I'm going to stay, I think I need to get a bigger pot and some more dishes.  That way I could have more people over for things.  You know, on those days where I'm feeling social.

The pot luck was nice.  The food was AMAZING.  There was a little of everything there.  The tortilla roll ups may have been a little too American... C said they were salty.  LOL.  So C and I pretty much hung out together in one of the corners of the room.  Turns out he's as much of a wino as I am, so that was nice.  Also, that's a difference in Korean and American pot lucks - our boss supplied the booze.  Hehe - before I came here, I read about work drinking outings and the 'bottoms up' culture.  I actually got to witness this when my boss A told C 'bottoms up!'  So funny.  I ate way too much, and it turns out that one of the Korean staff (another A, we'll call her A2) actually makes tiramisu!!  It was sooo good!!!  So the pot luck started at 10pm (we had to wait until all the kids were gone) and went until about midnight.  Then I walked home with the rest of my co-workers and a couple of the teachers from the other part (they teach older kids) of our company.  It was nice and I think that there is going to be a pub trip with them, J and I in the future.  She is so good at making me be social.  LOL.

Speaking of which, I got my BH weekend this weekend.  I've cleaned my entire apt including scrubbing the bathroom tiles and unclogging the drain.  The laundry is all done, though I do need to get more detergent.  I've been loving the solitude and I'm hoping that the quiet is being good for my poor bad ear.  I swear, I'm going to go deaf in the right ear.  Which is weird, because when I drove the mustang, I assumed it would be the left ear that would go - you know, the one near the road noise due to no air conditioning.  Course... in order to hear my music I did have to turn it up pretty loud... so perhaps both ears are in trouble.  In other news, I have a sore throat and swollen glands, so I'm going to see the doc about those on Monday.  I'm pretty sure I can talk my co-teacher K into going with me.  Sigh... dumb throat.  I'm about to have tea and a stroopwafel for breakfast.  Then I think I'll be making my bacon and brussels sprouts pasta with the cheese sauce for lunch/dinner, with a decent bottle of white wine.  Dinner for the rest of the week will involve mushroom ravioli and marinara sauce with red wine.  I will need to run to the store for more veggies eventually.

 Anyway, nothing much is planned for the week.  It's going to be a pretty chill one, I think.  No plans for the weekend yet, tho I'd like to do something on Fri because that's Krampusnacht and I'd be interested to see if people in Seoul dress up.  However, I probably won't want to go to Seoul on Fri.  It's kind of a pain to get into Seoul on a Friday night.  I may check out the war memorial on Saturday.  We'll see what the day (and the weather) brings.  Anyway, love to all, hope your Thanksgiving was great and please all in the colder places STAY SAFE!  Remember, some days are full-coverage insurance days!  Also snow tires are good, but staying home wrapped in blankets and sipping a hot beverage is even better!

To care or not to care

I've had a decent case of the blahs for a good 2 weeks now.  Mostly this has manifested in my comments regarding the need for another plague, flood, or other extinction-level event.  Due to this mood, I've been more than willing to go out and drink.  So I give you the proof that I'm able to enjoy craft brews in Korea.

My Saturday was hijacked by S promising to introduce me to an Irishman.  You all know I think that there is a tie for sexiest accent between Irish/Scottish and Australian.  So naturally I dragged myself out to Seoul to hang out with people.  Now... on thing that I keep on learning over and over again is that not everyone has this pressing need to 1) be on time and 2) know what time we are meeting.  Earlier in the day, I had been told 7 pm meet up.  I decided to leave a little later because I'm always early or on time and end up waiting.  Well... while I was on my way into Seoul I got a message saying that it would be more like 8.  Then at my first stop, I got a message saying it would be more like 930.  Finally the last message I got was that one person had forgotten their ID, so they had to go back and now they would meet me at 10.

Here's the thing - I am either the most laid back person in the world, or I am the most apathetic.  I had my kindle, I was at a place that has brews that I enjoy, and I was content to wait.  I'm not sure if it's a testament to my general state of mind or not, but most of my pix are of the brews.  I do have one of a rugby team because... well, you'll understand.  It's just been one of those weeks/turning into months where I wonder why it is that I don't really mind anymore when plans don't work out like originally advertised.  With one exception - due to my introverted nature, I do like to have a headcount of the people I'm meeting up with and who they are.  The thing is, I do like being alone - and I've gotten to the point where I'm ok being alone in a bar reading on a Saturday night.  That may be a dangerously new level of single/awesome that will darn near make me invincible.  I keep seeing things online about how dangerous it is to be 100% ok with yourself.  I can't say that I'm totally at 100% (I'm a work in progress after all), but I'm darn close.  I know I am 100% ok to be in my own company in public... which is not totally new, but is still not culturally accepted anywhere, really.  I'm not sure what the point I'm making is except - never leave home to meet people without a kindle and a back-up plan.

This is so that my preview photo isn't of booze.  Hehe.

Here you see a Yeongdong Porter and a shot of Jameson.  This was my 2nd beer after the Imperial Stout that BrewDog had for their 1st anniversary.  The imperial stout came in a smaller glass, cuz that one was 10% alcohol.  The shot happened at around when I realized it wasn't even 8 yet and our meet-up time had been pushed back to 930.

I wandered from there to the actual meeting spot and in all fairness, it was right around 10 when they finally did show up.  Anyway, we played darts for a bit (J (the Irishman) and I narrowly won against S and W), then went outside.  And then this happened... a rugby team took over the bar, all dressed as Freddie Mercury.  This is a pic of them dancing to... you guessed it... Queen songs.  The best part is that I was hanging out with a fantastic Korean man at the time, and he was enjoying this just as much as I was.  Apparently S works with a couple of guys on the rugby team, so that was just even more fun.

 Then we went on to one of my personal favorite places, where I got a Guinness - and another shot of Jameson.  I don't know how they did the "Good beer with good friends" thing, but I loved it.  The bartenders love us at that place, which is always nice.  Hehehe.

 So then we went to another place and they didn't have what I really wanted, so I got this because it made me think of Doug.  And I'm pretty sure that this is the last beer I had.  There was soju later, which is probably why I had a bit of a hangover the next day.

So that was my evening of hanging out and having drinks.  I can't really complain too much about the weekend being hijacked... but this weekend may turn into a true BH weekend.  We'll see, cuz S is talking about going out again, and it is fun to hang out sometimes.  The thing is, I'm for sure more of a 'let's hang out in one place and have drinks' as opposed to a 'let's go multiple places and get drinks' kind of gal.  However, considering how down on humans I am, being around humans may not be the best of ideas.  Who knows, I'm just in one of those moods.  I need a dog.  On an fun note, I wore a fun green dress to work today and my artistic student sketched me as a fairy.  Hehehe... I look good in wings.

So yeah, that's where it's at right now.  I am still bummed that Thanksgiving this year will not consist of me going to see Gma and Gpa.  I really, really enjoyed my trips to see them at Easter and Thanksgiving.  We are having a pot luck on Friday, where I will be bringing buffalo chicken pinwheels cuz that's gonna be easy and yay for cold appetizers.  We'll see what the weekend brings.  The week so far has brought mocking lessons at work, call with Dad, call with Mo, Wed will be date night with J and then my Friday call with Ana.  I also need to set up a phone date with Jess.  Thank God for my people and technology that keeps them all within reach.  Also for truck stops with wifi.  Anyway, happy Thanksgiving to those at home!  Wish I were with you, but in the meantime have some turkey for me.  I think my Thurs meal will be my bacon and sprouts pasta with parmesan cheese sauce and wine.  I may be able to con a slice of pumpkin pie off of J, but we'll have to see about that.  Apparently she's addicted.  LOL - American desserts strike again!!