It's funny - in these uncertain times, I find myself still booking trips (in Korea, of course) and making plans, holding on to some home that things will get back to 'normal.' Whether they will or not of course remains to be seen, but I've booked 2 trips in July that I'm hoping do happen. Besides the Namhae island trip that was rescheduled, I'm also planning a river rafting trip. Part of me is also wanting to look into things to do over the Cheuseok weekend. Even with these trips, I should be able to put enough money aside that I'll come home with a decent savings account. I just need thing to look forward to instead of weekends of nothing, you know?
Nothing much else has been happening. I've been in a better mood than I was last week. The treats from my mom and AL have been awesome - and should last me quite a while. I'm thinking of making the muffins this weekend. I had a great idea to make the brownies and put some of the strawberry pepper jam on top of them. A great mix of sweet and spicy! I need to go grocery shopping, so Thurs will probably see a trip to Emart, and Sat will be a Costco run. It's been all rainy the last couple of days, so the humidity isn't going to get any better any time soon. I am planning a trip to Busan to see my friend D at the end of July. It's gonna be a good time. I've also been in a country music mood lately - hehee.
My kids are still adorable and fun to have in class. I had all of them in class for the first time in forever - I forgot how insane it can be! It's funny when you see the kids that you've only ever seen online in real life. They are always either taller or shorter than you thought! Reminds me of going to AU and meeting my online classmates and professors. It's amazing what a difference that little screen makes.
Anyway, just wanted to do my normal mid-week update. The scale is officially going the right direction again... 20 lbs to goal!
Monday, June 29, 2020
Saturday, June 27, 2020
The Queen of Timing
You know... I am generally late to certain realizations. It takes J pointing out all the stressors in my life for me to realize that I'm stressed out. Or it takes my older sister to point out that while I have been free of romantic entanglements for most of my life, I am in fact great at maintaining other kinds of relationships, which means that I'm not 'bad' at relationships. Well, here's the thing - I've come around to the idea that perhaps finding a partner and mate who would become a husband is actually something that I do in fact want. I know, I was surprised, too.
The crappy thing about admitting this to myself is - I'm stuck in a sort of 'but not yet' wormhole. I mean, I could actively date in Korea and try to find someone who is genuine and not only looking for a hookup... but history has shown that dating apps and I are a toxic combination. My other option - go out and meet people - is kinda tough during a worldwide pandemic where all you can wonder is what other air the person has been breathing. Kinda like worrying about VD, only way worse cuz just being within proximity could mean catching something. Perhaps VD is a bad example... maybe it's more like worrying about catching cooties. Anyway, it makes going out and meeting people even more stressful than it was before and I'm already at a disadvantage because I'm an introvert to start with. So here I am in a kind of relationship limbo where I know what I want and I know what I have to do to get it, it's just the timing has to work out. Grrrr... Robin (HIMYM) had it right - "All you need for a relationship to work is chemistry and timing. And timing is a bitch." Sigh.
So now I get to admit that I'm lonely, and live with it. J was asking me what kind of man I'd like. I have been asked before what my 'type' is. Honestly? I just want someone who is willing to make an effort and who truly wants to be with only me. That's it. My fall back is 'I'm looking for the man who proves me wrong.' You see, my history is pretty much peppered with cheaters, lazy freeloaders, and 'nice' guys who are really not so nice. This has left me more than a little jaded. So what I want is a man who doesn't cheat, isn't lazy, and who genuinely treats me well. That's all, but it's a pretty big ALL. In the meantime, I'm still working on being ok with me - I go back and forth between 'I'm awesome' and 'I'm pond scum.' Makes for some interesting convos in my head, lemme tell ya.
Anyway, these are pretty much 1:30 am ramblings because I've been trying to sleep since midnight and gave up and figured I'd write. Maybe getting stuff out and onto the computer will help me to sleep.
The deepest friendships that I have are the ones that I'd base a romantic relationship on - mutual respect, compromise, and communication. I remember being way nervous when I explained to J about my need for 'me' time. She asked questions, I explained, and she eventually understood that my BH weekends didn't mean that I was mad at her or anything, they just meant I needed to recharge. It's taken Jess and I a long time to figure out our best means of communicating, and thanks to certain apps we've figured it out. I'm not usually one to call people a whole lot, but Ana is, so we have a standing phone date once a week. It's these kinds of relationships that my older sis was talking about when she pointed out that actually I'm good at relationships in general. I'm just not willing to hold on to a romantic partner when I don't see a future with them. She had to point out, rather vehemently, that there is NOTHING wrong with that. For those of you who are wondering - no, I'm not waiting for a (insert famous Chris here) look-alike millionaire to come sweep me off my feet. I really want someone that I can laugh and grow and share my independent life with. J mentioned that - she said that I wanted someone who was also independent so we could be independent together. I laughed, but she's not wrong. I think it's way better to have someone want me in their life, but not necessarily need me in their life. Kind of a 'I can cook, but I appreciate when you cook for me' or a 'I can check the fluids in my car, but I appreciate that you check them for me' kind of vibe. I'm all about the quid pro quo.
So basically if you stick with me after Korea, dear reader, you will be subject to reading about my misadventures and frustrations with the modern dating age. You are hereby warned. :D
On a much brighter note, I got a package from my AL today. I will tell you, I opened it, did a happy dance all around my classroom, put on some Chris Ledoux, and shared out some of the Resees cups. The rest are going home with me and will be rationed out as I see fit. Hehe. So while I may the (sarcastic) queen of timing, AL is the (actual) Queen of Timing because this package lifted me up just when I needed it. So again - THANK YOU, AL!!! I love me some chocolate (she even sent the Lindt kind with the chili peppers)...
... and CHOCOLATE COVERED OREOS!!! Woooo hoooo!!!
Friday was a fun one. In the 'kids are way too honest' realm of things, S is talking about going back to the gym because some of the kids like to poke his belly. I tried to sneak a pic of it...
2 of those girls are my old students. It is really, really funny to watch.
As for me, one of my favorite little ones said to me 'teacher, you have (points to her butt) is (makes round motion with her hands) big.' This was said while my arm was trapped by a little boy who was finishing his work and I was standing by him to sign off on it. (He linked his arm thru mine so I couldn't move.) The same day, another one of my favorite students (same class) wouldn't let go of my hand and for some reason was rubbing my arms and elbows with her hands. Koreans are a touchy people... and the kids are just so darn adorable. Did make me happy that I've been making sure my elbows don't feel like sandpaper, but I'm not sure what the fascination is. For those who are worried about the butt comment - don't be. I'm wondering if I should just tell them that teacher has a badonkadonk and leave it at that. Hehehe... and I did have a student who liked to poke it, so, yeah... my ass is fascinating to people of all ages, genders, and nationalities. :'D The good news is that I like my butt, so it's just funny to find out that others do, too.
The blahs have mostly passed and I just had a lovely, melty, humid Saturday. I walked to the hospital this AM for my blood test for the thyroid appt I have on Thurs.
They are serious with these band-aids. Press the circle for 5 mins, keep the band-aid on for 10, and usually when you take it off it takes a LOT of skin with it. The good thing about today was, after my walk home the sweat made removing it a BREEZE. I also got a good tech who didn't have to dig for the vein. Small bruise, but that's normal.
Then I came home and had breakfast, then I headed into Itaewon in Seoul. I went to the Foreign Book Store and bought 2 books. Let's see if you can guess which one is for me and which one is for J.
Hard game, isn't it? After the book store, I decided to go to From Brooklyn since last time I was there the lady told me to try her chicken cutlet sandwich.
It was SO GOOD! Fried chicken, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mayo on toasted whole wheat bread. On the side was jalapenos and pickles. I keep on forgetting that those kinds of things are self-serve in Korea. Anyway, it was nice, the lady always remembers me and even asked after J because she came there with me once. I told her that J was good, and getting ready for her date with her boyfriend. She then asked me where my boyfriend was and I said 'I don't know, living in the future or something.' and from now on, that is my response to that question. She smiled and laughed. She's super sweet and I think I'll be trying their meatball sandwich next time I go (which will be post-haircut most likely).
On my way to Lush (the reason for the trip) I saw this - I may need to stop into this coffee place when it opens. Stop drinking bad coffee, indeed!
So then I went to Lush where I was assisted by a lovely tall, tattooed Korean man. He took my 5 (empty) tubs and gave me my free face mask (supposed to be good for zits, and it's blue, so you know - I've got to take a pic when I use it... BLUE MEANIE!!), and helped me find a lotion that should help the razor burns that I've been getting when I shave my legs. They didn't have the perfume I like, but that's not surprising. After that I went to the international markets, where I did not find bfast sausage, but I did find oregano, so when the weather cools down I can make some good chili. Then I went home. It was 82 today, mostly sunny, and the mask was like a face swamp. So when I got home it was off with the mask, off with the jeans, on with the yoga pants, and under the AC until I cooled down a bit. The shops (except for Lush) and the bus weren't really running their AC's so much, so it was a little bit... brutal.
So the post ends on an up note. The not drinking seems to be working, as I am officially 21 lbs to goal now instead of just living with the same 5 going up and down and up and down. One of my co-teachers asked me if I've lost weight, and told her yes, but I have about 20 more lbs to go. I'm going a BIG happy dance when I hit the 100 lbs gone mark. :) So I'm almost ready for a new week - tomorrow will likely be lazy since I feel like I was productive today and I may just take a (real) book to a coffee shop or the park or something and spend the day reading. Happy weekend, everybody.
The crappy thing about admitting this to myself is - I'm stuck in a sort of 'but not yet' wormhole. I mean, I could actively date in Korea and try to find someone who is genuine and not only looking for a hookup... but history has shown that dating apps and I are a toxic combination. My other option - go out and meet people - is kinda tough during a worldwide pandemic where all you can wonder is what other air the person has been breathing. Kinda like worrying about VD, only way worse cuz just being within proximity could mean catching something. Perhaps VD is a bad example... maybe it's more like worrying about catching cooties. Anyway, it makes going out and meeting people even more stressful than it was before and I'm already at a disadvantage because I'm an introvert to start with. So here I am in a kind of relationship limbo where I know what I want and I know what I have to do to get it, it's just the timing has to work out. Grrrr... Robin (HIMYM) had it right - "All you need for a relationship to work is chemistry and timing. And timing is a bitch." Sigh.
So now I get to admit that I'm lonely, and live with it. J was asking me what kind of man I'd like. I have been asked before what my 'type' is. Honestly? I just want someone who is willing to make an effort and who truly wants to be with only me. That's it. My fall back is 'I'm looking for the man who proves me wrong.' You see, my history is pretty much peppered with cheaters, lazy freeloaders, and 'nice' guys who are really not so nice. This has left me more than a little jaded. So what I want is a man who doesn't cheat, isn't lazy, and who genuinely treats me well. That's all, but it's a pretty big ALL. In the meantime, I'm still working on being ok with me - I go back and forth between 'I'm awesome' and 'I'm pond scum.' Makes for some interesting convos in my head, lemme tell ya.
Anyway, these are pretty much 1:30 am ramblings because I've been trying to sleep since midnight and gave up and figured I'd write. Maybe getting stuff out and onto the computer will help me to sleep.
The deepest friendships that I have are the ones that I'd base a romantic relationship on - mutual respect, compromise, and communication. I remember being way nervous when I explained to J about my need for 'me' time. She asked questions, I explained, and she eventually understood that my BH weekends didn't mean that I was mad at her or anything, they just meant I needed to recharge. It's taken Jess and I a long time to figure out our best means of communicating, and thanks to certain apps we've figured it out. I'm not usually one to call people a whole lot, but Ana is, so we have a standing phone date once a week. It's these kinds of relationships that my older sis was talking about when she pointed out that actually I'm good at relationships in general. I'm just not willing to hold on to a romantic partner when I don't see a future with them. She had to point out, rather vehemently, that there is NOTHING wrong with that. For those of you who are wondering - no, I'm not waiting for a (insert famous Chris here) look-alike millionaire to come sweep me off my feet. I really want someone that I can laugh and grow and share my independent life with. J mentioned that - she said that I wanted someone who was also independent so we could be independent together. I laughed, but she's not wrong. I think it's way better to have someone want me in their life, but not necessarily need me in their life. Kind of a 'I can cook, but I appreciate when you cook for me' or a 'I can check the fluids in my car, but I appreciate that you check them for me' kind of vibe. I'm all about the quid pro quo.
So basically if you stick with me after Korea, dear reader, you will be subject to reading about my misadventures and frustrations with the modern dating age. You are hereby warned. :D
On a much brighter note, I got a package from my AL today. I will tell you, I opened it, did a happy dance all around my classroom, put on some Chris Ledoux, and shared out some of the Resees cups. The rest are going home with me and will be rationed out as I see fit. Hehe. So while I may the (sarcastic) queen of timing, AL is the (actual) Queen of Timing because this package lifted me up just when I needed it. So again - THANK YOU, AL!!! I love me some chocolate (she even sent the Lindt kind with the chili peppers)...
Friday was a fun one. In the 'kids are way too honest' realm of things, S is talking about going back to the gym because some of the kids like to poke his belly. I tried to sneak a pic of it...
As for me, one of my favorite little ones said to me 'teacher, you have (points to her butt) is (makes round motion with her hands) big.' This was said while my arm was trapped by a little boy who was finishing his work and I was standing by him to sign off on it. (He linked his arm thru mine so I couldn't move.) The same day, another one of my favorite students (same class) wouldn't let go of my hand and for some reason was rubbing my arms and elbows with her hands. Koreans are a touchy people... and the kids are just so darn adorable. Did make me happy that I've been making sure my elbows don't feel like sandpaper, but I'm not sure what the fascination is. For those who are worried about the butt comment - don't be. I'm wondering if I should just tell them that teacher has a badonkadonk and leave it at that. Hehehe... and I did have a student who liked to poke it, so, yeah... my ass is fascinating to people of all ages, genders, and nationalities. :'D The good news is that I like my butt, so it's just funny to find out that others do, too.
The blahs have mostly passed and I just had a lovely, melty, humid Saturday. I walked to the hospital this AM for my blood test for the thyroid appt I have on Thurs.
Then I came home and had breakfast, then I headed into Itaewon in Seoul. I went to the Foreign Book Store and bought 2 books. Let's see if you can guess which one is for me and which one is for J.
So then I went to Lush where I was assisted by a lovely tall, tattooed Korean man. He took my 5 (empty) tubs and gave me my free face mask (supposed to be good for zits, and it's blue, so you know - I've got to take a pic when I use it... BLUE MEANIE!!), and helped me find a lotion that should help the razor burns that I've been getting when I shave my legs. They didn't have the perfume I like, but that's not surprising. After that I went to the international markets, where I did not find bfast sausage, but I did find oregano, so when the weather cools down I can make some good chili. Then I went home. It was 82 today, mostly sunny, and the mask was like a face swamp. So when I got home it was off with the mask, off with the jeans, on with the yoga pants, and under the AC until I cooled down a bit. The shops (except for Lush) and the bus weren't really running their AC's so much, so it was a little bit... brutal.
So the post ends on an up note. The not drinking seems to be working, as I am officially 21 lbs to goal now instead of just living with the same 5 going up and down and up and down. One of my co-teachers asked me if I've lost weight, and told her yes, but I have about 20 more lbs to go. I'm going a BIG happy dance when I hit the 100 lbs gone mark. :) So I'm almost ready for a new week - tomorrow will likely be lazy since I feel like I was productive today and I may just take a (real) book to a coffee shop or the park or something and spend the day reading. Happy weekend, everybody.
Tuesday, June 23, 2020
Wild Weekend
As expected, not much has been going on during the week. Go to work, have food, come home, sleep, get up and do it all over again. Friday was really tough on me for some reason. Due to that, I decided to spend a lazy Saturday of doing nothing much. Sunday was all set up to be the same way when suddenly, I got a message! A guy that I had had coffee with back in Oct of last year was asking if I was free for coffee again. I figured, what the heck, I had no other plans and nothing to lose, so why not?! So I met him at the same coffee place that we had met at before. It was a pleasant way to spend a couple hours. His conversation is more engaging than the usual small talk. He asked about my bucket list and only got a little perturbed when I was telling him about the metal cruise I want to take (Shiprocked or 70,000 Tons of Metal). Hehe. We also talked about hanging out more since we're fairly close in proximity and both fairly free on the weekends. Anyway, that was fun and then I went to a seafood restaurant to celebrate M(C)'s birthday. So I met up with him, J, A, and M(H) at the seafood place under his apartment.
On my walk I saw some pretty flowers, I so I had to take a pic.
I'd call this one 'Urban Decay' - I like the sun and the flower being offset by the building and the pile of garbage (that smelled BAD).
M(H) and M(C) at the seafood place, when the lady realized that it was M(C)'s b-day.
Appetizer of dumplings and fried octopus.
The MASSIVE BUNCH OF SEAFOOD!
The lady was so cute and sweet - she clipped off this whatever it was and put dipped it in the cheese and served it up! I was pretty well out of my depth (pun unintended) but the food was pretty good.
The bucket of used shells.
The aftermath. Searching for the tiny clams... J swore that the broth was good... I thought it was tasteless, but that's just me.
As for the fasting, I realized something and I've put up a reminder of this to myself. You can't expect to heal 30+ years of damage to your body with only 2 years (and a few months) of fasting. I figure there is a ton of stuff going on during my fasts that I have no idea about since I don't exactly get memos from the cells. So I'm reminded to be patient, to continue to experiment, and honestly, not drinking isn't as tough as it has been in the past. I think that has me well on the path to drop those last pesky 20ish lbs. Muah ha ha haaaa, fat deposits, you are on NOTICE to vacate the premises!!!
Otherwise not much is going on. I've been looking into a couple other things to do besides go to Namhae, so I'll probably be booking those for July. As for Corona, I'm coming to the realization that I can only blame it a little bit for my continued weekends of bitch hermit-ing. This weekend I will be heading into Seoul - I want to drop off some of my pots to Lush and see if I can find some Jimmy Dean's hot sausage for my biscuits and gravy. :) My countdown until I come home consists of counting the books that we are going thru at work. We have 3 books for A-track, then 3 books for B-track. Each book takes a month to get thru. We are at the end of B1, so then just B2 and B3, then all new kids and I'll be in my last 6 months of being in Korea and starting A-track again. I've considered buying my ticket to come home already... I'd be home on the same day that I leave (international date line is a trip) and one flight got me home an hour before I left! I have decided to fly into DFW and start my 'I'm back' tour in TX. For those who are wondering, the tour will consist of TX, OK, KS, then WY. I am still hoping to have a job lined up before I get back, but I'm not holding my breath. If I have to spend some time in WY before getting a job elsewhere, so be it. If I find a job in WY, fine. I'm praying and trusting and next month I'll start applying for gov jobs with openings into 2021.
Oh, I have to share a funny with you. J didn't realize that I am well versed in Savage Garden and put on Truly Madly Deeply in her classroom. I was singing along and halfway thru the song she asked 'can we just get married already?!' Keep in mind we are both 100% straight, but considering the opportunity for an Australian green card... can't say I haven't considered it. LOL. :D
As for the fasting, I realized something and I've put up a reminder of this to myself. You can't expect to heal 30+ years of damage to your body with only 2 years (and a few months) of fasting. I figure there is a ton of stuff going on during my fasts that I have no idea about since I don't exactly get memos from the cells. So I'm reminded to be patient, to continue to experiment, and honestly, not drinking isn't as tough as it has been in the past. I think that has me well on the path to drop those last pesky 20ish lbs. Muah ha ha haaaa, fat deposits, you are on NOTICE to vacate the premises!!!
Otherwise not much is going on. I've been looking into a couple other things to do besides go to Namhae, so I'll probably be booking those for July. As for Corona, I'm coming to the realization that I can only blame it a little bit for my continued weekends of bitch hermit-ing. This weekend I will be heading into Seoul - I want to drop off some of my pots to Lush and see if I can find some Jimmy Dean's hot sausage for my biscuits and gravy. :) My countdown until I come home consists of counting the books that we are going thru at work. We have 3 books for A-track, then 3 books for B-track. Each book takes a month to get thru. We are at the end of B1, so then just B2 and B3, then all new kids and I'll be in my last 6 months of being in Korea and starting A-track again. I've considered buying my ticket to come home already... I'd be home on the same day that I leave (international date line is a trip) and one flight got me home an hour before I left! I have decided to fly into DFW and start my 'I'm back' tour in TX. For those who are wondering, the tour will consist of TX, OK, KS, then WY. I am still hoping to have a job lined up before I get back, but I'm not holding my breath. If I have to spend some time in WY before getting a job elsewhere, so be it. If I find a job in WY, fine. I'm praying and trusting and next month I'll start applying for gov jobs with openings into 2021.
Oh, I have to share a funny with you. J didn't realize that I am well versed in Savage Garden and put on Truly Madly Deeply in her classroom. I was singing along and halfway thru the song she asked 'can we just get married already?!' Keep in mind we are both 100% straight, but considering the opportunity for an Australian green card... can't say I haven't considered it. LOL. :D
Friday, June 19, 2020
Experiment: Me
Warning: another fasting-centric post.
One of the things that I love about fasting is how there are no set 'rules.' In the FB group that I'm on, people often ask for advice, but it all boils down to 'do what works for you, you're going to have to figure it out.' That leaves SO much open to experimentation. For example, some people can't drink black coffee without it breaking their fast. Others can drink green tea but not black and vice versa. When loss stalls, you can switch from one meal a day (OMAD) to alternate day fasting (ADF). If you've been doing ADF for a while and things have stalled, you can try a different variation for a while to see if it helps. As for me - I'm not drinking booze for at least a month to see if that helps (which it should), and I'm also going to have a <500 calorie 'meal' on Thursdays (instead of not eating anything at all) to see if it helps with my mood when teaching. I don't want to go off on these kids, but Tue and Thurs are my most challenging days. Monday is easy for fasting - I'm just coming back from the weekend, it's a good reset to the week. Thursday I'm already ready for the weekend, I'm generally annoyed, and then I have classes that just REFUSE to participate. So I've decided to eat a little something on Thurs to see if that helps my mood. Technically with ADF you can have 500 calories on your fasting days anyway, so I'm not breaking any guidelines. So we'll see what happens with that. Today (Thurs as I'm writing this) I just got a little hangry after the kids left... so the good news is that I was ok in class, just annoyed after. LOL.
Egg-shaped face instead of Charlie Brown face - I do love that fasting is working. :) J and I calculated my loss - I've lost an entire early 20's J! Still going for at least 100 lbs loss before going to maintenance.
The best thing about deciding to do this while I'm living in Korea is that it's super easy to buy something that tastes really good and always comes in at under 500 calories. I'm talking about the wonderfulness that is gimbap. It's basically Korean sushi, but the meat is cooked. So imagine a two-inch roll of rice, veggies, and then usually ham, spam, tuna and mayo, beef, chicken, or crab, also sometimes kimchi or other spicy stuff, rolled up and sliced. They are available at every single convenience store in Korea and there are also dedicated gimbap shops. So on Thurs all I have to do is check at a CU, 7-11 or a GS25 for their gimbap selection (they usually have what is in them in TIIINY English letters). Talk about an easy way of getting something yummy for a snack on my Thursdays. I'm wondering if I eat my snack closer to 4 than 3, maybe it will help ride me thru the whole work day without getting hangry. We shall see.
Now for something totally different - why is it so hard to be kind to myself? If I had a friend who had gone thru all this and was telling me that they were fixating on things that just didn't seem to be changing, I'd be gently kicking them and reminding them that this is a process... and just like emotional or spiritual healing it's not linear. Looking back at my tracker, I can see where I had months where my weight would go up and down and the same 5 lbs wouldn't move until BOOM! They did. I wonder if it's just easier for me to fixate on my weight because I feel that's something that I can actually control and everything else seems to be out of any illusion of control. I mean, I don't know from one day to the next if we're going to be shut down, have online classes, and/or will have to work from home. I don't know if I should risk going to Seoul for a day on the weekends or if I should play it safe and stay home. As much as I'm looking forward to coming home, I'm totally freaked out about getting a job, car, apt, etc. I don't want to spend much money because I'm trying to save enough to have a decent amount to come home with (yes I have a goal, no I'm not saying). I foolishly calculated how how much Chase is stealing from me every month in terms of transfer and maintenance fees, and I'm super annoyed at that - yet another thing out of my control. I'm not overly worried about the situation with N Korea, but if I have to come home early how is that going to affect my severance that I'm kinda banking on helping to sustain me while I'm job searching? Holy crap, no wonder I've been so stressed.
I just realized in looking at my gallery that you can totally see the progression of my week:
Monday - new skirt with a bralette and a shrug. Sassy pose with the hip out. Hehehe.
Tuesday - new shirt with old skirt. Smile like I'm looking forward to seeing the kids.
Wednesday - new shirt (ties in the back) and old skirt (which I love). Smile starting to look a little forced.
Thursday - the smile is a little more forced. New dress, dressed up with the belt.
One of the things that I love about fasting is how there are no set 'rules.' In the FB group that I'm on, people often ask for advice, but it all boils down to 'do what works for you, you're going to have to figure it out.' That leaves SO much open to experimentation. For example, some people can't drink black coffee without it breaking their fast. Others can drink green tea but not black and vice versa. When loss stalls, you can switch from one meal a day (OMAD) to alternate day fasting (ADF). If you've been doing ADF for a while and things have stalled, you can try a different variation for a while to see if it helps. As for me - I'm not drinking booze for at least a month to see if that helps (which it should), and I'm also going to have a <500 calorie 'meal' on Thursdays (instead of not eating anything at all) to see if it helps with my mood when teaching. I don't want to go off on these kids, but Tue and Thurs are my most challenging days. Monday is easy for fasting - I'm just coming back from the weekend, it's a good reset to the week. Thursday I'm already ready for the weekend, I'm generally annoyed, and then I have classes that just REFUSE to participate. So I've decided to eat a little something on Thurs to see if that helps my mood. Technically with ADF you can have 500 calories on your fasting days anyway, so I'm not breaking any guidelines. So we'll see what happens with that. Today (Thurs as I'm writing this) I just got a little hangry after the kids left... so the good news is that I was ok in class, just annoyed after. LOL.
The best thing about deciding to do this while I'm living in Korea is that it's super easy to buy something that tastes really good and always comes in at under 500 calories. I'm talking about the wonderfulness that is gimbap. It's basically Korean sushi, but the meat is cooked. So imagine a two-inch roll of rice, veggies, and then usually ham, spam, tuna and mayo, beef, chicken, or crab, also sometimes kimchi or other spicy stuff, rolled up and sliced. They are available at every single convenience store in Korea and there are also dedicated gimbap shops. So on Thurs all I have to do is check at a CU, 7-11 or a GS25 for their gimbap selection (they usually have what is in them in TIIINY English letters). Talk about an easy way of getting something yummy for a snack on my Thursdays. I'm wondering if I eat my snack closer to 4 than 3, maybe it will help ride me thru the whole work day without getting hangry. We shall see.
Now for something totally different - why is it so hard to be kind to myself? If I had a friend who had gone thru all this and was telling me that they were fixating on things that just didn't seem to be changing, I'd be gently kicking them and reminding them that this is a process... and just like emotional or spiritual healing it's not linear. Looking back at my tracker, I can see where I had months where my weight would go up and down and the same 5 lbs wouldn't move until BOOM! They did. I wonder if it's just easier for me to fixate on my weight because I feel that's something that I can actually control and everything else seems to be out of any illusion of control. I mean, I don't know from one day to the next if we're going to be shut down, have online classes, and/or will have to work from home. I don't know if I should risk going to Seoul for a day on the weekends or if I should play it safe and stay home. As much as I'm looking forward to coming home, I'm totally freaked out about getting a job, car, apt, etc. I don't want to spend much money because I'm trying to save enough to have a decent amount to come home with (yes I have a goal, no I'm not saying). I foolishly calculated how how much Chase is stealing from me every month in terms of transfer and maintenance fees, and I'm super annoyed at that - yet another thing out of my control. I'm not overly worried about the situation with N Korea, but if I have to come home early how is that going to affect my severance that I'm kinda banking on helping to sustain me while I'm job searching? Holy crap, no wonder I've been so stressed.
I just realized in looking at my gallery that you can totally see the progression of my week:
Friday - new shirt, old pants (from Torrid, love them - so comfy) and smile that says 'I'm freaking OVER it.' It took a long time to get this pic because I couldn't smile while showing my teeth and look even the slightest bit sincere. So I went for a slightly sarcastic smirk.
By the time Friday rolled around, I was out of patience for EVERYONE. A co-teacher came over when I was sitting on the bench and told me that I looked tired. To be fair, I didn't sleep all that great on Thurs night, which probably didn't help much. My first 2 classes really took it out of me and by the time I got my favorite class (3rd of the day) I just didn't want to hear any more 'teaCHER.' You see, Friday is our Creative Thinking Project day. We usually put the kids into groups, give them a project, and let them run with it. Unfortunately this means that any time a group has a question, I hear 'teaCHER' multiple times from multiple little voices. This is usually when I'm helping another group already, and sends my anxiety thru the ROOF. The fact that there is only one of me and 11-13 of them doesn't seem to be a concept that the kids can wrap their little minds around. I had to stop, quiet them down, and then calmly explain that they need to raise their little hands and WAIT until I could get to them. Yelling 'teaCHER' at me isn't going to help anyone. However, letting go of the anxiety once it has been induced is easier said than done.
The good news is that all my bills are paid except for the public trans that comes out of my account on the 25th. I think I've decided to stick around Dongtan this weekend - I have food in the fridge, I can go get a salad from Paris Baguette if I really want one, and maybe a couple days with minimal human interaction is what the doc ordered before I go back to the grind next week. The good news is that I made sure that everything is ready for Monday morning, so there will be minimal preparation when I get to work that day. I may go grocery shopping, but honestly I'm at the point where I'd like to be waited on again. LOL. I may go get some apples, though. I do like having some fruit every day.
Anyways, that's it for me. Not much new to report, but thank you for sticking with the post all the way to the end. I hope you enjoy my new clothes as much as I do. Much love to those back home, and I can't wait to see you (I'm pretty much super-duper-overboard homesick as well right now). MUAH! :* Until we meet again, lots of love from Korea.
Wednesday, June 17, 2020
Overly critical
I know that I've talked a lot about the weight loss and stuff that I've been going thru, so fair warning - this is one of those posts. It's interesting what the mind does to me when I'm stuck on a plateau (when weight loss stalls and sometimes fluctuates between the gaining and losing the same 5 lbs). Lately I've been way overly critical of my lumps and bumps. I know some of it is just that I'm frustrated that nothing seems to be moving - the easiest gauge of weight loss is the scale, right? So if the scale hasn't moved the 'right' direction for a couple months, it's disheartening. That being said, there is plenty of science to why I should not give up and go back to eating 3x a day (not that that's on the table here, fasting is actually good for me considering it's the lazy way to lose).
The things that the body does (cleaning out the cells, feeding on fat, etc) is still happening, even if the scale is being rude and stuck. That being said, I am going to stop drinking for a while to see if that helps things get back on track. I mean, the end of Lent was when I was at my lowest, so I figure that must be the catalyst I'm looking for. So for the next month I'm going to be wine and beer-less. I've already decided that drinking hard liquor needs to be a thing of the past for me - too hard to tell when I've had enough until it's too late. I did have fun shopping and getting some new things. I have a new favorite skirt that looks amazing. Pix will come at the end of the week - I'm planning a post of the outfits of the week. Anyway, I just had to share because it's getting to the point where it's too easy for me to look in the mirror and focus on the parts that I'm annoyed with (mostly thighs and a couple deposits on my hips). I know these areas are going to be the last to go - I just want them gone NOW! Historically if I look at my loss it's been 55 lbs the first year, 30 lbs the second year, and if I get another 20 during the third (this) year, I can't really complain too much. Patience is a virtue, right?
That's enough complaining. In other news, Jess got me to download a new video chat app so we can send each other video messages. I'm really loving that - I get to see my bestie more now! The only bad thing is it's making me miss her even more!! She also talked me into joining Instagram. For those of you who don't know, it's a photo sharing app. I do like taking and sharing pix, so I'm enjoying that as well. In case you are wondering, my username on that is mandi.not.tall - hehehe.
Otherwise it's teaching as usual - the kids are in the classroom, which is nice. N Korea seems to be in a mood, but so far that hasn't affected us. The good news for people back home is that we are really close to two US bases here (one Army, one Air Force), so if ever getting us back to the US is a military priority, it will happen. Part of me just wants to say 'really, 2020 - everything else wasn't enough, now we have N and S Korea getting up each other's butts? Not to mention the Indian, Pakistani, and Chinese fighting over some land (J informed me of that one).' At this point, I'm ready for alien abduction, moving to an island and becoming a bartender, or disappearing into the mountains and seeing what happens.
The things that the body does (cleaning out the cells, feeding on fat, etc) is still happening, even if the scale is being rude and stuck. That being said, I am going to stop drinking for a while to see if that helps things get back on track. I mean, the end of Lent was when I was at my lowest, so I figure that must be the catalyst I'm looking for. So for the next month I'm going to be wine and beer-less. I've already decided that drinking hard liquor needs to be a thing of the past for me - too hard to tell when I've had enough until it's too late. I did have fun shopping and getting some new things. I have a new favorite skirt that looks amazing. Pix will come at the end of the week - I'm planning a post of the outfits of the week. Anyway, I just had to share because it's getting to the point where it's too easy for me to look in the mirror and focus on the parts that I'm annoyed with (mostly thighs and a couple deposits on my hips). I know these areas are going to be the last to go - I just want them gone NOW! Historically if I look at my loss it's been 55 lbs the first year, 30 lbs the second year, and if I get another 20 during the third (this) year, I can't really complain too much. Patience is a virtue, right?
That's enough complaining. In other news, Jess got me to download a new video chat app so we can send each other video messages. I'm really loving that - I get to see my bestie more now! The only bad thing is it's making me miss her even more!! She also talked me into joining Instagram. For those of you who don't know, it's a photo sharing app. I do like taking and sharing pix, so I'm enjoying that as well. In case you are wondering, my username on that is mandi.not.tall - hehehe.
Otherwise it's teaching as usual - the kids are in the classroom, which is nice. N Korea seems to be in a mood, but so far that hasn't affected us. The good news for people back home is that we are really close to two US bases here (one Army, one Air Force), so if ever getting us back to the US is a military priority, it will happen. Part of me just wants to say 'really, 2020 - everything else wasn't enough, now we have N and S Korea getting up each other's butts? Not to mention the Indian, Pakistani, and Chinese fighting over some land (J informed me of that one).' At this point, I'm ready for alien abduction, moving to an island and becoming a bartender, or disappearing into the mountains and seeing what happens.
Sunday, June 14, 2020
Retail Therapy
It was a good Saturday of being lazy and having a walk around Dongtan.
I love these trees - they are this color all year round.
They really do have umbrellas at intersections. It is really nice on a hot day - it was really, really hot and melty on Saturday. Humid as HADES.
It was a great Sunday of shopping with J. There are some fun finds in Zara... J and I found this gem.
I had to take a pic for Mom (my ring tone was the Dallas theme for a while).
The back - at the bottom it says something about 'if you can't go in the front door, try the back.' We also found a black shirt with the evil queen from Snow White on it - I nearly tried it on but then I decided that a) I am the wicked queen, and b) I didn't want to spend that much on one shirt.
J promised not to be a bully... but she insisted that I get this skirt. The shirt, too... J is tiny but mighty! I like it tho... it brings to mind archaeologist Mandi or something... kinda 'The Mummy'-esque.
Then I had to get this one - it's so light and flowy and comfy!! It's probably supposed to be a cover-up or something, but for me it's a dress. Took a little time to figure out which part was the front and which was the back.
It was a great Sunday of shopping with J. There are some fun finds in Zara... J and I found this gem.
Then when I got home, I had to try this outfit. Hehe.
So the damage ended up being: one black shirt, one grey shirt, one dark red (burgundy, wine, whatever you want to call it) shirt, the above skirt (olive? green? I suck at this game), and the black dress. It was a lot of fun seeing how excited J gets at getting me new clothes. We ended up getting food at an Indian place in Metapolis.
It's really, really weird to me that I can buy shirts in a medium and certain bottoms in a large (I mean, some things still didn't want to go above the hips cuz... you know... quarter horse shape, but that skirt is a LARGE - not an XL, but a L). Medium on top I can get - as long as it fits the shoulders. We did try a couple other stores, but the clothes were more Korean less International. I am many things, but I am not shaped like an Asian. Viking all the way! Hehe. So I had to wash the clothes when I got home, and hoping that they are all dry by tomorrow cuz I really want to wear the above outfit tomorrow!!
Anyways, not much else is going on. Life continues as usual and Netflix has been my good friend this weekend. It became a BBT and zombie weekend. Zombieland Double Tap is much fun, and in a few mins I'm going to try The Dead Don't Die. Netflix is doing this thing where it seems to be trying to get me to watch Merlin as well... I may give that a try. Also I'm reading the Three Musketeers and that's been fun so far. Hopefully we'll have the kids in class all week, but we'll have to see what the 'rona has in store for us. MUAH! :* much love to all.
Thursday, June 11, 2020
What to do with myself lately??
I don't remember if I mentioned that my trip to Namhae Island was postponed until July... but it has been. So in the meantime, I have to try to get my sunshine on the way in to work, and on the weekends I think I'm going to try to figure out a 'park tour' of Korea. Either that or figure out some decent day trips out of Dongtan... I need to get out and about a bit more or I'm going to go totally stir crazy. In case you are wondering, yes, I'm thinking of ways to get out and meet new people as well... I just don't want to go the online dating route again... I'm not well-suited for that.
I just got paid, so on Sunday, J and I are going to Metapolis to go shopping. Yep, it's a weekend of retail therapy for me. In my head, I'm hearing my older sis saying "save money" but here's the thing... I have a lot of tank tops. I can't wear tank tops to work. Also, most of my tank tops don't really fit anymore. So I'm thinking of getting some T-shirts (plain for work) and maybe a sundress or 2. I like wearing dresses - granted I usually wear them with leggings, but they still look nice. I'm officially jealous of some of the dresses the Korean staff are wearing - they look so comfy and pretty!! So yeah, I'm going shopping. Just a couple new pieces, 3 or 4 cheap t-shirts, and I should be good. As for the IF plateu issue I'm having... well, I'm having a small snack on Thursdays now instead of just not eating - maybe that will help my autonomic processes to realize that I'm not starving. Also, I'm considering giving up alcohol until I've dropped my last 20 lbs... but we're going to call that plan D. ;) I also have to go grocery shopping tonight because I'm out of coffee.
Woke up this AM with a sinus headache, and I think I slept on my neck wrong. We are also teaching online today because there was a confirmed case of the 'rona in Dongtan. Sigh... it's gonna rain on Sat. I'm thinking LOTR marathon. Stay safe, friends.
I just got paid, so on Sunday, J and I are going to Metapolis to go shopping. Yep, it's a weekend of retail therapy for me. In my head, I'm hearing my older sis saying "save money" but here's the thing... I have a lot of tank tops. I can't wear tank tops to work. Also, most of my tank tops don't really fit anymore. So I'm thinking of getting some T-shirts (plain for work) and maybe a sundress or 2. I like wearing dresses - granted I usually wear them with leggings, but they still look nice. I'm officially jealous of some of the dresses the Korean staff are wearing - they look so comfy and pretty!! So yeah, I'm going shopping. Just a couple new pieces, 3 or 4 cheap t-shirts, and I should be good. As for the IF plateu issue I'm having... well, I'm having a small snack on Thursdays now instead of just not eating - maybe that will help my autonomic processes to realize that I'm not starving. Also, I'm considering giving up alcohol until I've dropped my last 20 lbs... but we're going to call that plan D. ;) I also have to go grocery shopping tonight because I'm out of coffee.
Woke up this AM with a sinus headache, and I think I slept on my neck wrong. We are also teaching online today because there was a confirmed case of the 'rona in Dongtan. Sigh... it's gonna rain on Sat. I'm thinking LOTR marathon. Stay safe, friends.
Saturday, June 6, 2020
Took Myself Out Today
One the crappy things about living through a pandemic is the feeling of risk when I leave my apartment. Logically I know that the chances of catching the bug are slim. Also, I'm smart - I wash my hands, wear my mask, stay away from people as much as is possible, and avoid places that are confirmed 'hot spots.' That being said, all it takes is a confirmed case somewhere that I was and next thing you know I'm 'patient X.' Then all kinds of things are set in motion - closing the academy, disinfecting everything, quarantine for me, tests for everyone I've come into contact with... you get the idea. So this week I was wrestling with the idea of another weekend alone in my apt or taking the risk and going to Seoul Forest. I'd been wanting to get out and about a bit (more than just to a grocery store) and I figured, well, at a certain point mental health is just as important as physical health and I was starting to get what can only be termed "brain sniffles." I felt ok, but I needed to get OUT for a bit. So I took the risk.
I got up this AM around 11, got a coffee from the shop next to my apt, and headed into Seoul. It wasn't hard to find Seoul Forest (there is a subway stop). What followed was a great couple of hours of wandering, taking pix, and imagining how busy it would be without all the tapes and stuff and social-distancing precautions.
At some point in my adventures, I got 'Golden Afternoon' from Disney's Alice in Wonderland stuck in my head. And as I'm wearing my 'Looking for Wonderland' tank top, I found it massively appropriate. So beware of Alice references in this post. You've been warned.
I was so proud of myself for finding it - again, not hard, but there is still a sense of accomplishment when I am successful at reaching my destination.
So the first thing I found were these lovely lilies, which you should know are my favorite flower.
Unfortunately, the camera on my phone didn't always want to focus.
The garden reminded me of my grandparent's back yard and made me think they would have appreciated this.
Just the pick-me up I needed.
Such beautiful varieties.
This is probably my favorite of the pix I got... they just finished watering them.
Even with the cars and the ever-present sounds of the city, it was fairly tranquil here.
I love weeping willow trees.
Such a perfect picture spot... planned, I'm sure.
I love the 'hidden' path.
Seriously, so pretty.
Lest we forget, this is in Seoul.
I don't know what these are, but I love them.
Purple and green go so well together.
Another 'hidden' path. The picture turned out better than I thought it would.
It was SO MELTY AND HUMID! I should have worn yoga pants, not jeans.
Map of the park.
Fun with flowers.
Huge field of them.
No clue what this bush is, but it's pretty.
Interesting sculpture that kids can actually climb into (when the tape isn't there).
I like this pic... it's peaceful but you can see buildings in the background. Probably an older part of Seoul - less sky scrapers.
Took off the mask for the pic... and put it right back on after, don't worry.
I just love the planning that goes into parks.
I don't know what these are, but I like them.
I went to the 'Hill of Wind' - and there was no wind. Also, the waterside cafeteria was closed due to Corona, as was the Children's woodland playground. I know I watch a LOT of British comedy because all I could think was that hill is the designated place to go if you feel the need to 'break wind.' LOL - probably a good thing J wasn't with me on this trip.
Caught the King of Seoul Forest leaving his house. Undoubtedly to hunt. :)
I like when trees do this.
Found the deer. You are no longer allowed to feed them... but they don't seem to have suffered from this.
Anyone else thinking... dinner?
Some signs just don't really need to be translated... I'm thinking this means that the snakes and the bees/stingy insects are known to gang up and chase people into trees and/or other traps where head injuries are common. So beware the snakes and stingy insects!!
Then I took a path that looked interesting and came upon this tunnel. Which I OF COURSE had to follow because - HELLO! I mean it's not totally a rabbit hole, but it will suffice.
Not scary, but definitely echo-y.
Still looking for Wonderland... after I learned a lot of things from the flowers... in the month of June.
Found the Han River at the end of the tunnel.
I like that there are parks, bike, and walking paths on both sides of the Han River.
Seoul.
More Seoul.
I like how the bridge kinda frames the city. This path will take you back to the tunnel, which I did not take again because... you know I don't like to go where I've already been.
Flowers along the bike path.
There was some kind of marathon or something - most of the walkers had numbers on their backs.
A nice little area to enjoy the breeze off the river.
Waterskiing on the Han.
Obligatory selfies. It wasn't a showing-the-teeth kind of day.
Took the elevator up and took these pix. That's right, I wasn't about to take all those STAIRS! Something twinged in my left ankle and it's currently swollen as heck... so I officially no longer just have a good knee and a bad knee... I now have a good leg and a bad leg. Sigh... stupid getting older.
Pretty views, tho.
I found the museum I was looking for... and it was closed, of course.
However, I want to go back because... it a museum of water works just seems interesting.
The metro station even has greenery. I thought it was funny. I had just missed the train when I came down, so I waited for like 5 mins for the next one. I do like when public trans is reliable.
So I've seen this place 3 times. First time was when H and I went to find the library in the Starplex mall. Second was on New Year's Eve when we went to find the bathrooms before we saw the fireworks to ring in the New Year (we were so full of hope then... but I digress), and today. Since M(C) wasn't with me (we have a PF Chang's date, if ever we can both be bothered to go to Seoul on a weekend), I decided to finally try a brew or 2 at Devil's Door.
Their menu - I ended up just getting the burger.
At 3pm on a Saturday it is easy to maintain social distancing guidelines.
Their dark beer. A good brew, I enjoyed immensely, and ended up having 2.
They literally branded my burger... just in case I'd forgotten where I was?! I've never been able to taste the grease in the fries as much as I did today (and I think they add garlic or something to it) and the burger was normal except they put marinara sauce on the bottom bun. It was surprising, but somehow worked... it was a good late lunch/early dinner.
So from there I caught the metro back to Gangnam and the bus back to Dongtan. First thing I did when I came home? Changed into yoga pants. Then I drank 2 big glasses of water. I also munched on some stuff. I mean, burger and fries is great, but I was still a little munchy. If I hike around Dongtan Hill tomorrow, I will be taking my water bottle bag thingy I got in Taiwan. It was a slight oversight on my part, but finding a convenience store in Korea is never hard, and they had 1+1 bottles of water (buy one, get one in the US), and plenty of bottle recycling receptacles. Still, water and some stretching is never a bad idea after being out and about for most of the day. Now I think I'll watch some versions of Alice and enjoy the A/C because 82 degrees and lots of humidity makes for a MELTY day.
I'll let you know if I decide to do any more hiking tomorrow... update on the Namhae trip - it's been postponed until July. Corona again. Let's see if July is a better month for travel. Sigh... stupid 'rona.
I got up this AM around 11, got a coffee from the shop next to my apt, and headed into Seoul. It wasn't hard to find Seoul Forest (there is a subway stop). What followed was a great couple of hours of wandering, taking pix, and imagining how busy it would be without all the tapes and stuff and social-distancing precautions.
At some point in my adventures, I got 'Golden Afternoon' from Disney's Alice in Wonderland stuck in my head. And as I'm wearing my 'Looking for Wonderland' tank top, I found it massively appropriate. So beware of Alice references in this post. You've been warned.
So from there I caught the metro back to Gangnam and the bus back to Dongtan. First thing I did when I came home? Changed into yoga pants. Then I drank 2 big glasses of water. I also munched on some stuff. I mean, burger and fries is great, but I was still a little munchy. If I hike around Dongtan Hill tomorrow, I will be taking my water bottle bag thingy I got in Taiwan. It was a slight oversight on my part, but finding a convenience store in Korea is never hard, and they had 1+1 bottles of water (buy one, get one in the US), and plenty of bottle recycling receptacles. Still, water and some stretching is never a bad idea after being out and about for most of the day. Now I think I'll watch some versions of Alice and enjoy the A/C because 82 degrees and lots of humidity makes for a MELTY day.
I'll let you know if I decide to do any more hiking tomorrow... update on the Namhae trip - it's been postponed until July. Corona again. Let's see if July is a better month for travel. Sigh... stupid 'rona.
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