Is this a THING!?

First things first. Our first Christmas together was quite nice. We got up, did stockings, had coffee, made mimosas, did presents, cleaned up, had breakfast, watched some movies, talked to my people on the phone, and then went to his sister's house for his family's white elephant gift exchange. It was simply lovely. Now, on to the weird....

One of the most interesting things about being in a serious relationship is how much someone else notices. For example, my fiancé told me the other day that he is mentally logging all my sighs so that he'll know what all of them mean. He says I have a tired sigh and a hungry sigh and an exasperated sigh, and each are different. He wants to log them all so that he'll know what I'm feeling without me having to tell him. The thing is, he's right, but it's strange to me that he cares enough to want to decode me!! The man notices EVERYTHING. He JUST asked if I'd wake him up when I refill my coffee in about 20 mins... I'm not at ALL used to ANYONE paying this much attention to me. On the one hand I'm kinda more aware of the noises I make (I've lived alone for a LONG time, so there are noises), on the other hand I think its adorable that he notices these things, let alone he wants to know what they mean. Its just... I've never been with someone who cares enough to a) notices, b) say anything, and c) want to decode me! Weird.

Anyway, A came for a few days this week. We did papa murphys and movies on tue, fort brewery and the lightscape at the botanical gardens on wed, and then she took off for home on thurs. Here's some pix for ya!

The wrap with arugula... the meal that made me realize I have a sensitivity to arugula.

Shoulda gotten a pizza.

Guess who likes beer and who likes wine. Hehe.

Lightscape was soooooo cool. Here's just a few highlights

They change the lights every year, so it might be kinda fun to go back and see the trail next year. They also had food and drink stalls all around with options for adult beverages. It was pretty awesome. We had a good time.

Its been nice spending so much time with the fella. We went to his sister's again yesterday for his nephews 30th bday, then I ended up going with him to his D&D group. He bribed me by taking me to half price books and buying me 2 new books. The man KNOWS me. We have no solid plans for NYE, but we did buy some champagne glasses since the champagne in the mimosas went pretty flat pretty quick. Good news was we got them on sale at target, so yay for affordable glassware. We both go back to work on Tuesday, so my brain is already shifting into work mode. Thankfully it's a short week. Looking forward to 2024 and all the changes it will bring. Its gonna be stressful, but in a good way. AND I'm gonna be closer to HEB! Hehe, it's a TX grocery store (best grocery store, IMO). Hugs and love to all for a blessed, uneventful new year!!! MUAH!!! 

Dreams can be helpful

Lately I've been waking up in the morning already stressed out due to the content of my dreams. Most of the time they are innocuous, mundane even, but I wake up stressed. I realized this week that I'm stressed (in the dream) because people are expecting things out of me and I can't accommodate everyone. Last nights was case in point, I dreamed I'd be doing something and someone would ask for help with another thing so id help them, then another would ask, and another, and another until I was being pulled in 1000 different directions, unable to finish anything, and feeling like screaming. What is going on in my life that could be causing such a dream??? Well...i believe the culprit is... wedding planning in general and specifically the guest list. 

We are keeping the wedding small. We want something simple, intimate, and as inexpensive as possible. This means that its not going to be feasible for us to invite everyone who would like to share the day with us. So I'm already stressing about the guest list and possible hurt feelings before the invitations have even gone out. I'd love to be able to say "whatever," throw caution to the wind and invite anyone who wanted to come. Unfortunately, budgetary constraints are a thing, so sadly that is not feasible. I think I've got my list sorted, but being a chronic people-pleaser, I'm obviously so stressed about letting people down that it's made its way into my dreams... robbing me of a peaceful night's sleep. Then there's the societal pressure of keeping with tradition that hits up against my disdain for traditions in general. Cutting a cake together... why? The thought of everyone staring at us while we shuffle around a dance floor: super anxiety inducing. Tossing the bouquet? I don't think so! Garter toss? Ah HELL naw. We have already decided on a non traditional reception, and have gotten some push back regarding that decision. So many people have so many opinions and I tend to try to accommodate all I can and I need to nip this in the bud NOW because it's only going to get worse. That, or I shall route all unsolicited opinions and advice thru my ladies of power. 😁 hehe... take one of THEM on, I dare ya! Anyway, the point of all this is that wedding planning is stressful, even before it really gets going. Sigh. Also not having anything set is driving me nuts. I'm not good at the patience, you know. 

Anyway, I did some baking this weekend 😁

Some for my tex mex family, some for my in laws, and some for myself! Hehe. My fella also cooked for us this weekend. It was amazing!!! 

I had to finish the snickerdoodles on Saturday since I needed the room in my fridge for the batter to chill. 

I also introduced him to the Hogfather, tho we only watched the first part so far. He was kinda falling asleep a bit.

We went out to Eastland to spend some time with my tex mex family and so they could meet my fella. It was much fun. We played games, ate food, and visited. Before we got there, we got to see my older sister!!!

She has a puppy!! I was able to give her her Christmas presents and a sample of ALL the cookies!!!

Shoveling "snow" ... I won.

Hooking candy canes with a candy cane.

Doesn't the dog look THRILLED???? HEHE

Fooooooood! We had brisket and pulled pork with beans and potato salad. 😁

We stopped here on the way home. Got us some gooooood pecans. 

Now we get to relax a bit, open ONE present on Christmas Eve, and have our first Christmas tomorrow. 😁🎄🎅🏼 I hope all of you are having a lovely Christmas Eve, I wish you a blessed and happy Christmas day, and I hope it's filled with joy and laughter. Hugs and love from a beautiful, warm Texas Christmas! 

Pix are Important

I've always been a shutterbug, and I've posted pix on FB from the min I decided to sign up. I've also always struggled with my weight, as most of you are well aware. I've been bumming myself out for the past week or so because I'm dress shopping and I've been berating myself because I was SO MUCH SMALLER 3 years ago. However, I'm not where I was nearly 6 years ago, either. Then on Tues a memory from 3 years ago popped up, which lead me down a rabbit hole of comparison pix.

Me Jan 2018 before fasting. 100ish lbs from goal. May have been closer to 110 or 115, but for sure one of the pix that helped convince me I needed to change.

Me in Dec 2020. 8 lbs from goal. Done only with fasting - eating nothing on mon or thurs, 2 meals tue and fri, one meal wed, sat, and Sun. 

Me today. 73 lbs from goal. Working out 2-3x a week, happy to have stopped the progressive weight gain, but not seeing much in the realm of weight loss. Eating 2x a day on workout days and day after workout, one meal on non-workout days. Signed up for my fitness pal to track progress, meals, etc. Reminding myself this is a marathon not a sprint, that body recomposition is a thing, I'm stronger than I was even when I was close to goal, and my worth is not tied into a dress size, scale #, or horrible pic.

Its just disappointing that it seems the only way to lose weight is to not eat at all 2 days a week. Sigh. And trying to shift from a weight loss mindset to a being stronger and aging well mindset is HARD. My whole life my weight has been an issue. I can't turn off bloody YEARS of societal conditioning overnight. I'm trying not to be annoyed that my December isn't shaping up the way I wanted, reminding myself that I'm better where I am than where I was, but still that niggling feeling remains... so much weight gained back... sigh. I feel like I've let myself down somehow. Even though I had no wedding on the radar, I want to look good for both myself and my man. Good thing about him is, he loves me no matter what and recently said he'd marry me in flannel and comfy pants (I can hear Korea J scream from here. Lol... no worries hon, I'm not getting married in flannel). Still, when I saw the pic of me in an ill fitting dress that wasn't as flattering as I'd have liked... well, I felt like an ogre playing dress up in the princess' castle after my raiding party had killed everyone. (Cuz, you know, why not.) Do I think I will find THE dress and my man will be gaga when I'm walking toward him? Of course I do. Just right now I'm thinking of what could have been if I'd just kept the no food mon and thurs schedule. How I'd be smaller, and perhaps it wouldn't be so disheartening. Or perhaps it would have. After all, I'm a big ol' pear and I'll always be a big ol pear, no matter what the scale says. That being said, I did weigh on Sunday... 68lbs to goal. 

So, I'm trying to focus on what I can do now that I couldn't do 6 months ago. I can dumbbell press 25 lbs, I can do 2 sets of 10 pass thrus (abs, also known as taco crunches) where I could only do half of one 6 months ago, I can upright row and triceps pull down 70lbs, and I can goblet squat 45 lbs. My workouts generally last an hour and a half, and im ok with that. Stephen King is keeping me occupied, so i also feel like im getting reading time in with my workout. I'm doing great! Just no matter how well I'm doing with weights, there's always my own weight looming in the background... I may pack up the scale when I move and not get it back out for a year. My work people tell me I'm looking good, so that's nice. T even says I could give Marilyn Monroe a run for her money, which is a compliment I'll hold on to.

This is also my first Christmas with a fella. Shocking, I know. So on the one hand, I want to do things right (and I may have gone a little overboard) and on the other hand I'm overwhelmed by ALL THE THINGS!!! We have this with his family, then that with my tex mex family, Christmas traditions to incorporate, explanations of said traditions (I think cinnamon rolls for Christmas might be another NM, CO, WY thing, kinda like green chili), and past Christmas disappointments to air out, its just a lot all at once. When I'd like to retreat and regroup I can't because we have another thing. I know this is an adjustment on my end - historically my Christmas has either been a day alone on the phone with family or an appearance at a friend's house for a few hours and then home again. I'm excited for the new but I'm also longing for the old. I may require a post Christmas BH day, truth be told. Of course, we'll see how I am after all the craziness of the holidays.

We did a thing!! 

Our first Christmas 😁

I'm excited to have our first Christmas together. It's gonna be fun. I hope he likes his things. 🎄☃️ After we finished decorating we watched movies (A Christmas Story, Gremlins, and Batman Returns) and he fell asleep. I have learned that when I'm stressed a good stress buster for me is embroidery. Also known as "a little stabby stab." So, here's my stress buster this week

Isn't she pretty? My older sis may also be looking into embroidery as a stress reliever. 😁 After I dropped Jay off, I waited up for A who was at a Christmas party and going to stay over. They ended up having to go home, so they didn't, but I started work on another, more difficult one.

So, really, everything is good. I'm going to be fine. I just need to adjust to having a fella in my life. Our tree is a lot bigger than any others I've had, and it's beautiful. We stuffed each other's stocking, wrapped each other's gifts, decorated together, spent time with his family, and there will be more of that in the coming week. He's taking a few more days off than me, but we have agreed on a dedicated goblin day for Friday the 22nd. I need to bake cookies. 😁

Happy last-min shopping week, everyone!! Stay safe out there, there have been WAY too many car wrecks this week. Hugs and love 😘 MUAH! 

Busy, busy

It's been a crazy week. I've started going back to the gym, and ended up twinging my knee a bit, so I'm keeping an eye on it. I might have overestimated my deadlifting abilities. Otherwise it's back to being sore from working out approximately 75% of the time. The other 25% I'm sleeping. Lol. It is nice to feel all strong and stuff, tho, I will admit. 

Otherwise work continues as usual. I'm attempting to get into the spirit of the holidays, so I decided to get about 24 mini Santa hats. I've started hat-ing stuff at work. Of course I started in my own office. I also put little sayings in them. Stuff like "son of a nutcracker" and "don't get your tinsel in a tangel." Hehe. It helped, for sure.

This weekend my fella and I went down to San an and new Braunfels to see my bestie and her hubby. We went to the first New Braunfels Ren Faire, which was a LOT of fun. Turns out, the bestie is a fan of mead! There were quite a few people there. It was impressive. I also took the dress I'd ordered for my wedding down, and it turned out to not be great. So it's back down the rabbit hole I go. It's nice that we all get along and her parents got to meet him! It was a lovely weekend. We had lunch on Friday at pasha's, a wonderful Mediterranean restaurant that we love. J enjoyed it, too!

Gracie reminding us that SHE is the gift. 

After the faire we relaxed, watched army beat navy, then went to blacks BBQ. I'd never been, but I was told they make the best brisket. I can now say that is correct! So yummy!

Yummy.

Saturday night we had to drive back to DFW, since J works on Sundays. The traffic was HORRIBLE in a couple spots, so we didn't get home until midnight and midnight 30. We did stop in west for kolaches and sausage rolls. When i got home I went to bed and didn't get up until 1030am. It was nice, but frankly I'd happily go back to sleep already. I had to go out to get some things for Christmas presents and stocking stuffers, then stopped for groceries, and picked up a few things at the Amazon locker. Apparently J didn't have a stocking, so I got one for me and one for him. Both are grinched! Hehe. I may have gone slightly overboard with presents this year. It's fun to have someone to spoil. We planned our schedule for Christmas eve and Christmas day, so that will be good, too. We'll go pick up our Christmas tree next Friday before he meets up with his D&D group, so I'll post pix next week. I hope everyone is having a good holiday season, and I'm sending you all my love. I'm gonna have lunch, finish watching Hogfather, have a glass or 2 of wine, and then probably go to bed early tonight. I hope you are all having a lovely, lazy Sunday as well. 😊🥰