Keep Ya Head Up

No lie, it's been a stressful time since my wonderful boss, whom I absolutely love, decided to quit. I don't blame her, she seems to be much happier in her new role(s). As for myself, my new title and subsequent raise have helped me feel more secure in my own position. Word to the wise, when interviewing for a job, don't tell them that one person could do the job. When they hire someone else for the position you applied for, you will feel quite foolish. Which is putting it nicely. Really I felt like I'd shot myself in the foot and they would be firing me as soon as they got around to it. However, with everything that they added to the department since hiring N, really one person could NOT do the job. Thankfully they do in fact want to keep me around, so that's what I'm gonna do. I'm also looking at getting a certification, which will make me more qualified for the job I already have. Lol. Then I'll be able to put "CPHQ" after my name in my emails. 😁 

I'm trying to figure out the things I can do to maintain my sanity in the coming months. I'm looking forward to marrying my man, but the status change will be a LOT. And I'm going to live with a MAN! Outside of when D lived with us for a time and when my college boyfriend's mom kinda... pawned him off on me... I've never lived with a man. I still have horrible memories of coming home from classes (or work, cant recall) to... FEET FUNK!!! He was hiding his nasty @$$ socks under the bed, all rolled up. I told his mom I was gonna buy him socks, she got upset and bought them herself. Lol. Anyway, that was... what... almost 20 years ago. On a semi-related note, J and I have agreed we should have a washer and dryer in the new place. We're both tired of hauling things to the laundromat. Something I'll be doing tomorrow. We are looking at some apartments, which will be nice, and cheaper than renting a house. Anyway, back to my sanity. I'm going to the gym Mon thru Wed, and I've decided to "treat" myself to a membership at a yoga studio. The weekend in San An made me realize how much I miss the rhythm and flow of the yoga. I don't do it at home because it's all carpet. A couple months of a yoga membership is doable, for the stretch and the relaxation. I'm also trying to make time for journaling. I like to do that at coffeehouses. And I like to find independent coffee houses. Tho I may try PJs coffee down the road. Hehe. 

Mom got me some flowers, and they are GORGEOUS. That helped with the stress. Also, my apartment complex actually fixed my bathroom sink! IT DRAINS! Like it should drain! This is the first time it's done that! Liquid plumbr did NOTHING!

My idea of a good night in. Food, drink, and movie in pjs. 

I ended up going back to Savor coffee bar and eatery for some journaling time while waiting for my fella to wake up. It's SUCH a cute place.

J and I met with one of the church ladies to fill our some more paperwork to send to the tribunal. Apparently we still need his ex's address because... get this... they need to contact her. How messed up is that?? Hopefully she will be helpful, tho I'm sure they have protocols for when ex's decide to not. I felt bad for the church lady, she said she had gotten divorced after being married for 30 years. Funny enough, she is also a huge Elvis fan and shared that she had seen him when she was 12. Apparently this kind of annulment can have quite a quick turn around, so we are still planning for the end of April for our wedding. I'm hoping to confirm that ASAP so I can get wedding invitations out. The RSVP process may just be "shoot us an email." Lol.

The little known 11th commandment. 

The kitty snuggled with me! Tho his pillow is j's hand. 😁

Sage advice from Hooligans

His mule, my sidecar.

Saturday we worked on his brakes, and he says they feel much better. Then we went to his sister's, went to lunch with his mom and his niece, then wandered around target for a bit until we had to take his niece and his mom home. Then we ran to game stop to get him a Lil something and I dropped him off, and came home myself. His niece had found something at target that he then bought for me and I HAD to try them on. 

Grumpy bear PJ bottoms!!! This has always been my teddy bear, and the fact that he has a coffee mug just proves that my parents knew what they were doing when they bought him for me all those years ago! Hehe.

There is this place in TX off I-20 called "New York Hill" and there is a restaurant there. My friend A is going to meet me there today for food because I think it's funny and I need a friend date. This weekend was a lot of dates. Me date, J date, now A date. Lol. I miss having my friends closer, but whatcha gonna do? Until I can afford my own island or something, my people will stay scattered around the world. Sigh. MUAH! 😘 BIG HUGS and love to my friends. I miss you all.

Starting down the roller coaster

Suddenly, it all comes together. The paperwork is in, it gets to the right people, and we are poised at the top ready to start this ride! We are still working on the truck to make sure the brakes don't go out again (a terrifying sentence and I'm sooooo grateful nothing bad happened). And now we wait for the church to let us know when we can meet with the priest and start the prepping. It's scary and exciting in equal measure. 

So one bit of non-wedding stuff I need to get off my chest is what crap car insurance is. State Farm wanted me to pay $932 for 6 months. The kicker? Their "Drive safe and save" program they talked me into gave me a crap discount. Here's my scores on the app:

I'd say those are pretty darn good, right??? And here is the discount they were offering:

SIX FLIPPIN DOLLARS!!!! So, I had to shop around for insurance, which required putting my phone # in, which resulted in MORE bot calls (the extended warranty people seem to have backed off). If I'm shopping for insurance online, I DONT want to talk to anyone!!! Especially when one company came back with $246 PER MONTH!! Another was $46 per month, as long as I paid $1400 on the day I purchased the policy. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE??? I've had zero accidents, continuous coverage for 2 years, great history before that (I have a 2 year gap cuz I had no car while I was in Korea), and they want to friggin GOUGE me. Speaking of the car, how long should I make payments before I look into refinancing? For some reason I've got 6 months stuck in my brain box. My credit is great so I feel like I should be able to get a better rate. Anyway, rant over. Insurance is the worst legally required scam in the US. Wait, no... credit scores are worse. They dictate your life, change without warning or notice, and are so arbitrary it's insane. Imagine living in a country that essentially penalizes you for NOT taking out loans. 🤯 There is a better way, I've seen it in other countries. 

Also, as we are coming into another year of insane political BS, here's my thought. Let's all write in "Arnold Schwarzenegger" as our vote for president. The more I see of him, the more I love him as a human. Yes, I know, he doesn't qualify due to not being born here, but we elected DT and frankly he shouldnt have qualified as he seems like hes from Jupiter (no offense to Jupiter, I'm trying to point out how divorced DT is from reality). I'd like to gather some friends and move to a commue to live off the land and forget the outside world. I totally get why the uncontacted tribes prefer it that way. Sigh.

On a brighter note (and back to wedding things) J was helping his friend C work on his car, and so I got to hang out with S, who will be our baker for the wedding. We got on the same page re: cupcakes for the reception and she'll have help from my friend, A. Also, my sister will have a very special cupcake of her very own. Lol. After all the things were done, we met up with his best lady and her man (C and D, respectively), as well as S for rotating sushi. Here's the pic I got:

The sushi goes by on the conveyor belt and we grab what we want. Drinks came on a drink robot, and we can split the check at the table. Such fun! C and D are getting married in Nov, and she picked her dress over the weekend, so we got to gush about that. J and I went and got some hot beverages for the ride home from a place called 85 degrees. I had a taro lavender latte (caffeine free). It was delicious. On the way home we stopped at Kroger, so I can boil some eggs for salads this week and have stuff for eggs in purgatory. I'm already planning my cleaning out the fridge meals in anticipation of moving in April. We found a great apt complex and I may have fallen in love with the floor plan and kitchen already. They have hookups for washers and dryers, so we are planning on getting those, and my besties parents already snagged us some dressers, a couch, and a couple recliners. We are leveling up as adults! I can't wait to spoil the kitty cat, too.

... Obligatory Ace pic.

I'm starting my spreadsheet of people invited and addresses, getting the timeline figured out in my head, planning a shopping trip for his suit and possibly some engagement photos... ready to move ahead with all this!! Woooo hoooo, I'm gonna marry him SO HARD! HEHEHE 🥰

Saying "Yes" to the dress 😁

When people are thinking of adjectives to describe my sisters and I, I would imagine that the words "girly girls" don't often get brought up. So it was a little strange this weekend when my older sis came to town and we went to visit my bestie for me to try on dresses and see what we could find. She arrived in DFW with no issues, we went to dinner at Anamias, and then jumped on I-35 to San An. 

Did you know you can track a specific flight to see where they are??? MADNESS!!

Anamias! We even brought chips and salsa for the bestie.

The next day we got up, had coffee, and went out to a David's Bridal. There we encountered the sales women, who were somewhat helpful but also... lurked. We had lurkers. I tried a lot of styles, but will only share some highlights.

This one was ok.

This looks a bit better.

This let my inner 5 year old out to play!!

I twirled like the little princess I am!!

From here we went to "The dress store" at the mall in San An. There I found my "Yes" dress and Mo even got into the spirit.

Bestie did, too, but the only pic I have of her is of us and I'm in THE dress. I'd like to keep that under wraps until THE day. So that pix is being saved. Hehe.

So I ordered THE dress from the store and it is on its way. Then I'll take it to get altered and that'll be one thing to no longer worry about. Mo wanted all Mexican food, so after the outing we went to Gloria's.

Good times.

We also did look at the flowers bestie has, and I think she got some ideas of what she might like to do. We also stopped at Costco for pastries because Mo is looking for a bakery that is comparable to Publix in FL. The cherry and almond danishes were very good (Mo combined em into a sammich) as was the oreo cupcakes. We ended the evening with Eurovision, which was WAY more cute than I thought it would be. And then ended day 2.

We got up and went to yoga on Sat, then went to another Mexican place for lunch/dinner. Came home and made drinks, then started "the good guys" until the chiefs/dolphins game came on (waaaaah), then went to bed. It was a nice, chill, relaxing day with the ladies and besties hubby. 

Spicy old fashioned made with tequila and chili pepper liquor. 

Chicken stuffed poblano.

Top shelf margarita. All super yummy.

An old fashioned with aged rum, a la bestie hubby. He still got skills!

Sun we got up, went to Gloria's for brunch, and then sis and I headed north. It got progressively colder the further we went.

Cute pic in Gloria's.

Bfast tacos.

Saying goodbye. We drove back up to DFW and stopped off in west for yummy foods. It was fun! We ended up back at my apt, where she survived the man-eating couch, a 5am wake up call, and a ride to the airport in the snow. She got back home without any issues, other than a delay, of course.

Bye bye.

It's super cold in TX. The snow this AM was dry and blowing like WY in spring, so it was normal for me. I went into work as usual, and looks like it's gonna be a normal week. J is making headway on the paperwork for the church, so we are moving closer to being able to announce the date! Lol. Still looking at houses for rent (with non-galley kitchens), and poor J has been dealing with a brake issue on his truck. We plan on getting all that squared away this weekend. So even tho its cold as heck, we are moving ahead. I also did get promoted at work, so that's nice. Yay for finding out good things!! Good new is welcome after the week of stress last week. So stay warm, my friends. I love all of you and I'm sending hugs and kisses!!! 😘😘🥰🥰🥰

Doing things "right"

Disclaimer: this post is very Catholic, with mentions of worship and living a vocation. Consider yourselves warned, this is the "Catholic" part of this metalhead. For those who don't know, the Catholic Church teaches that everyone has a "vocation." A calling for them to find, that will help them to live a life that brings them to Heaven. These vocations are: marriage, religious life (nuns/monks), priesthood, and single life (which can be consecrated, aka blessed). This is part of the reason the Catholic Church takes marriage so seriously and make us do so much before we get married (ex: 9-6 months to get married, can be YEARS before final vows for religious life). 

On to the post:

Getting married comes with a lot of unknowns. Getting married in the Catholic Church comes with all the regular unknowns and additional "pre Cana" unknowns. And we can't start any of the process until all the paperwork is in order. So we are working on the paperwork, then we'll meet with the priest, and then at least the date of the wedding will be known and announced. This is causing considerable stress as we'd like to get married in April. Not knowing what the classes are, how many we need to take, what the other requirements are, we can't really plan properly!! It's not stopping us from focusing on what we can do. I'm going dress shopping with my bestie and older sis this weekend, and I have my shoes and non-veil. 😁 I just hate that I can't really send out invites to my out of town people yet. 

The thing about all this that has me in a pensive mood is: why is it so important to me to get married in the church?? I mean, we could get married by a JP and then have the marriage blessed later. Or we could just get married by a JP and not worry about getting anything blessed. But if I'm being really honest, I don't want that. I keep on focusing on doing this one thing "right." But why? Forgive the British, but I'm generally a rubbish Catholic. I know a lot of the things, and I know I don't do a lot of the things, and I know I've screwed up a LOT of things, so what's the deal? I think I know... this is my line in the sand. I live a very secular life, for the most part. Dating has always been tricky for me, as I try to toe the line between secular and sacred. Guess which side generally wins. But the one line I haven't crossed was co-habitation. I've never lived with a romantic partner. It's my one thing. I'm a horrible Catholic who screws up constantly, but I haven't lived with a romantic partner. I don't want to start now. Even when it makes economic sense, I want to be married first. I want an official "no returns or refunds" in place before we move in together. I'm not sure if it's because I think I'll be less likely to bail when it gets rough or if I think he'll be less likely to bail... or... it's just my one line in the sand. When I go to confession and the priest asks if I live with anyone, I can at least say "no" to that one. I might feel like a crap Catholic, but I've got this ONE thing... my one bit of rebellion against a secular world. It's a weird line, but it's my line. 

I'm feeling super stressed with all my unknowns right now. Getting married is one, also professionally I'm in limbo, weather could screw some things up this weekend... just seems like a lot of things in my house of cards could come falling down and I'm feeling the winds changing. In the midst of all this, I ran across this on FB...

... and I cried. This is my prayer... I don't know, but He does. I don't really think God gives me scores on being a "good" or "bad" Catholic. Those are human concepts that many of us have been brought up with. I think God cares more about the love and trust we show Him. That may be part of why I want to get married in the church... because I want Him to be a part of my married life. If marriage is my vocation, then i want to live my vocation from day 1 with a sacramental marriage. I know my man isn't in the same place as me, he's making a LOT of concessions for me in order for us to comply with a church that is often thought to be outdated and old fashioned, but I want us to be married in front of God, with our family and friends, in the church, surrounded by the angels and saints (including friends/family who have passed away). The beauty of Catholicism is mostly invisible to the human eye, but I know who all is present at any Mass, and it's way more than who you can see in the church. In my soul, I know that my vows need to be taken in a church. 

So yeah, the struggle between the secular and the sacred continues as it always has. Life is a highway, and I think this part of it needs to be repaved. I'm hitting pot holes, washboards, pretty sure there was a gater puddle somewhere back there, and the road looks washed out ahead... well, from what I can see thru the fog, anyway. (Great metaphor, right?) We keep moving forward, even if it's at a crawl... and both of us think that once the ball gets rolling, we'll have to run to keep up. 

I want to end this with an amusing story, so let me tell you about mushrooms. Mushrooms are a very polarizing food. I tried this on Monday 

I showed it to my friend S and as we discussed it she stated that it sounded disgusting. After I tried it, I told her it tasted fantastic and there was no taste of Mushroom. Her next question was "well did it give you diarrhea??" I laughed and told her I'd only finished it 2 mins ago, but I'd let her know. Sure enough, when I saw her on Wed, she asked again. For anyone wondering, no gastrointestinal distress followed drinking this. It says it helps with mood, so we may be getting a case of it for my fella and myself. Prayers of all kinds are appreciated, assuming my other Christian, pagan, and "other" friends made it this far. I love you all, and I hope you are staying warm as the US gets put in the deep freeze this weekend. We'll go back to our usual Sunday posting schedule next week or so, this one is gonna be busy so Sundays post might be really Monday-ish. MUAH! 😘 

Looking back

New Years is always a good time to reflect. One of my FB memories came up where I announced that I was once again accepting applications for a new fella at this time last year. That got me thinking about that relationship. It started good, but ended way before it actually ended due to his inability to just TELL me we were done. It actually kind of mirrored my post-college boyfriend back home where he just went unresponsive and I didn't see him for a month. The difference is, post college mandi made that one break up with her. Last year mandi sent the "I guess we are done here" message and wished him well.

What I didn't do last year was tell him or really anyone else how painful it was to go from "I like you" to ... crickets. I remember driving home from NM, I kept texting him updates and hearing nothing back. One of his excuses was he was arguing with someone in a FB group, and just forgot to respond. That stung. Once I realized things were over, I saw all the signs in retrospect. People ALWAYS show you how they feel about you... when words and actions don't add up, always belive the actions over the words.

The point of this is not to revisit old wounds, but to celebrate how very different it is this year. This year I have a fella who shows me what I mean to him in tons of different ways. He texts me constantly and always lets me know when he's busy and when he can chat. We celebrated the holidays together and it was lovely. He cooks for me, we can work through our issues, and he is really considerate of when I need recharging time. He also introduced me to his family and has been kinda funny when it comes to making things "FB official." I think back to last year and I'm so grateful. Grateful that it ended but also grateful that it showed me what not to accept. There was one instance where I talked to that one about an issue, and that gave me the courage to talk to J when issues come up. It sucks having hard convos, but they are necessary in an adult, healthy relationship. It's funny because I've spent so long observing and logging advice that I have a lot of working theories on relationships and now I'm finding out if some theories hold water or if I've just been fooling myself. I do thank God for my ladies, as I do tend to go "am I nuts or is this valid" a lot. 

We had a lovely day off together on Friday. I went over to his place and hung out with him and the cat for a while. Then we ended up going for a burger which somehow turned into a mini bar crawl, which was WAY fun. 

I gave Ace his Christmas present...

catnip lime....

and whisker claw. Hehehe... I saw him playing with both, so I'm gonna say he liked em.

I love when we all sit together he'll sit on me, but has to have one or both paws on J. He loves his human.

Such a photogenic void! Hehe. I love this cat.

We went to Kool Keg first, which is a really nice place. I had the "wintervention" beer which was AMAZING. I also tried a Mango wheat beer which was also good, but I preferred this one. We then went to a "natural grocery" that had piqued our interest before. We ended up getting a couple drinks and bringing them to the car to stay cold. We then ended up visiting the curb where one of his friend "parkour-ed" and hurt her ankle on the way to Fuzzys taco shop. Well, fuzzys was across the street from Division Brewery, which I'd wanted to try and J had seen a pizza on their website he wanted to try, so in we went. They had a nice vibe, the pizza was tavern style and very good, and about halfway thru our 2nd beers, the bartender asked if we knew that they had a LOT more going on. He walked us thru the back room (pool and Foosball tables) out to the patio (tables, heaters, and covered spaces), and into the brewery part (more beers, barrels, and tables). It was so cool! 

The beer list in the front of the brewery... there was this and about 8-10 more in the back. My favorite was #8- it was a brown ale.

Isn't it pretty???

The bartender told us the beers usually cycle thru every few weeks so when we come back they may be totally different. I'm excited to try more. 

J said he had needed an outing, and we'll need to find a balance between my introversion and his extroversion. I know it can happen because my aunt M and uncle D are in the same boat. It will be interesting when we find a place together. We've been looking in Burleson, and I imagine we'll find something. Probably close-ish to the HEB. Best grocery store in TX! Hehe.  He's back to work today and I'm probably going to take down the Christmas tree and clean my apt a bit. Getting back into the routine at work and will hopefully get some answers about my job this week. Sigh... still super stressful, there. 

Much love to all, may your 2024 be uneventful, all things to be 100% precidented. Let's all live in uninteresting times! Hehe. MUAH! 😘