Oktoberfest

Well, it was a stressful weekend. Thursday my car died on the way home from work. I got it towed home since it was after hours and I couldn't call a shop to take it in. Friday I got it towed to a shop. My fella came and picked me up. He is the sweetest man. Poor guy had to deal with a blubbering me, as car issues always turn me into a toddler who wants her daddy. We ended up running quite a few errands, he even took me out to lunch, and we got to spend some time with his cat. He helped take my mind off the stress of being car-less. I thought it was the fuel pump, but apparently it has something to do with losing compression, which could be bad juju. I'm waiting to hear for sure from the shop.

Saturday we went to the ol south pancake house for breakfast, then went to Oktoberfest at Trinity Park in Fort worth. We got our steins, wandered around, had some beers, some pretzels, and then decided it was too hot. It was 100 degrees that day. Didn't really feel like the first day of fall.

I got the oktoberfest beer, he was enjoying the rafter, which is lager with lemon-lime soda.

It was a good day.

I got to spend all weekend with my fella because he is going to be working for about 11 days straight. Sunday was a fairly lazy day, which saw me making a "stir fry" for us. It was pretty good. He says he's a good cook of stir fry, so next time he's cooking for us. Hehe. He also thinks we need a rice cooker and a wok. I have to agree, tbh. I'm pretty darn smitten with him... he's been so darn sweet and supportive thru the whole car issue. And I gotta say, it's amazing being with a man who understands me so well. 😁🦈

Holding Pattern

I'm trying to enjoy the now without worrying about the future. It's tough, as I'm waiting to hear back about a possible promotion at work (and thinking of all the ways we can accomplish some of our goals). I want to start my strategic planning NOW but I need to wait until I know what's what. It's making me crazy, which is why I'm trying not to think about it. I'm not good at waiting and it seems... that's all I can do. Sigh.

This weekend was pretty laid back. My fella had a bit of a head cold on Friday, so we didn't get to see each other until Saturday. I had a webinar on Friday, so I was kinda thrown off by that anyway. I took Thursday as my usual day off, which was nice because it was also raining that day and I got to spend a cozy day inside reading about Shackleford and the Endurance. I got as far as 'ocean camp' and now I'm bummed cuz they had to shoot 3 pups and the ship's cat. Boo. I know all the humans survived. Shackleford was known for getting his men out alive. Unlike Scott who perished with 2 men after reaching the south pole. Why these men went on an ANTARTIC expedition without knowing how to ski or run a dog sled is MIND BOGGLING to me. English hubris, perhaps? It was at the beginning of WW1, so the empire was in full swing, if memory serves. Ah well. I've left them camping on the ice, about 1.5 miles from the boat, which has been caught and crushed by the ice, and is slowly sinking. 

Saturday I was able to meet up with my fella and celebrate his family's September birthdays. We went to his sister's house and put together the grab bags, then ordered pizza and wings, everyone ate, then we had cake and ice cream, then he went to play D&D with his group and I went home. I ended up in a mental spiral where I overanalyzed every interaction, everything I said, everything that happened, and then had to ask if he still liked me. Good news, he does. Ah, the joys of being an overthinker and having a hard time believing people genuinely enjoy my company. I am grateful that he understood and responded. I'm also glad his head cold didn't last all weekend. 

Goody bags

He let me steal one of his Koopa straws

Costco cake and chocolate chip ice cream

My total "haul" 😁

I keep telling my fella hes one of the most generous people I've ever known. He's the one who usually gets everything for the goody bags, and he tends to get me things at random. I've been drinking Starbucks Iced Coffee most of the summer (sorry, can't do the hot coffee when it's 109 out), and depending on where I get it, it ranges from $6.50 a bottle to $10 a bottle. (I didn't know about target selling it for $6.50 until we went there randomly one day.) Well, he decided I needed an iced coffee maker, so he got one for me.

I am pleased to report it makes good coffee and is easy to clean and reload. Hehe.

I was sitting on my couch yesterday and realized that I have made a pretty cozy apt for myself here. As you know, I believe in a 'creepy cozy' asthetic, and I think I've achieved it! 

I'm glad I'm at the point in my life where I can afford to live the way I want to live. Now, if I get that promotion, maybe I'll be able to travel the way I'd like to travel.

So today being Sunday I'll have another day to myself. I need to vacuum, hard boil some eggs, make my lunch/dinners for the week, clean the mess, plan my outfits for the week, pack the gym bag, and generally prepare. I have Rio mambo with A on thurs night to look forward to, as well as Oktoberfest on Saturday and a possible bestie visit! So all in all life is good. I'm holding on to hope for the future... really all I want is to live the life I've been living without having the need to continually check my bank account any time I need to make a purchase. Sigh. Living is expensive. 

I hope everyone is having a good October-eve month of September! The next few months are my very favorites 😁 happy Hallowthankmas!!! 🎃🦃🎄🎉

Just the Same Ol'

Not much has been going on this week, except my brain is going a bit nuts. My friend and sorority sister posted something on her Instagram that said something like "You aren't healing to handle trauma. You've handled trauma. You are healing to handle the joy." That.. was honestly a gut punch. Part of what I've been struggling with is how nice it's been being with someone who wants to be with me. I'm not used to this. I'm used to being shoved aside, excuses as to why we can't hang out, wondering if there's space for me in someone's life, and feeling like I'm crazy for caring about them. The trauma... I'm used to the trauma. So what am I worried about? I'm afraid that I'm going to sabotage my relationship because I'm scared of how great everything is. Hence, not being able to handle the joy. My fella has done nothing to make me wonder where I stand in his world, he makes time for me, he tells me where I stand in his life, he is amazing and I'm crazy about him... so of course I'm afraid I'm going to lose him! I think that only time and subsequent healing will help me believe that its OK, I can handle the joy and moreover, it's ok to be happy in a relationship. It's ok to be in love, ok to trust my man, ok to lean on him sometimes, and ok for us to take care of each other. Comfort in our relationship will come in time... as long as we continue to work together to build a strong relationship, which we have both committed to. We got this. Hehe 😁 

So we had a good weekend. First I made us an oktoberfest feast, since I've been craving it. Then we had lunch with his family at Twisted Root, which was amazing. Then we found a Paris Baguette, and a spirit halloween! We also watched Sleepy Hollow at his place while we cuddled with his kitty. It's interesting that his family is all close so they can get together without months of planning in advance. Lol. They seem to like me, which is nice, and I like them, which bodes well for the future. 

The bestest kitty.

So this week I'm making pasta for the leftovers. I'm still working out, usually hitting the gym 2-4x a week. I also got some yoga DVDs to help with the stress. I don't think I've lost any weight, but I do feel stronger and I'm carrying myself better (standing straighter, feeling like my arms look better, etc). I am also slowly upping my weights, so I am making progress even if my weight isn't going anywhere. Work-wise, I've got some fairly exciting things happening this week, which I will report on once I know for sure. I'm hoping for good juju. Still attempting to focus on the NOW and not get all stressed out with the COMING SOON stuffs. 

Thank goodness the weather is supposed to cool down a bit, and spooky season is just around the corner!!! The fella and I are thinking we could be peanut butter and jelly, or Jason and camp counselor, tho I also found a lamp and a moth which made me laugh. Hehe. Whatever we do, it will be fun. Thanks for sticking with me, reader. Some day I'll believe that its OK to be happy. I don't know if I'll ever not be afraid of losing the good things in my life tho... after all, nothing lasts forever. Tho perhaps I'll get to where I can accept the inevitable regarding these things... I mean, I've accepted it in other contexts. Anyway, hugs and love friends.

First KU Game and Irish Fest

My fella and I went to see my gparents over Labor day weekend which was also the first football game of the season for KU. Thankfully we avoided downtown and the traffic wasn't horrible, so everyone survived. We learned a lot about each other and our different road trip styles. I am a destination-oriented traveler. Google says 7.5 hrs, I should get there in 7. Stops are for gas and toilet, food is eaten in the car. Zoom zoom. HE is a trip-oriented traveler. Google does not drive him, he will get there PRECISELY when he's meant to. We can wander around a truck stop, stop for stretching the legs, stop and eat, stop to change a tail light, etc. The destination will be there when we arrive, no need to rush. To say that I was shook is an understatement. However, when he was driving he was driving and I reminded myself many times that we would get there. And we did. We got there, we had a lovely visit, even got to see my aunt C on Saturday. (Driving was brought up and she asked "Oh, you don't do like your dad does, DO you??" So i smirked, looked at my fella and went "See! Hes famous and he taught me! The lead foot didnt fall far from the tree!" Gma mentioned at least we didnt start out at 4am... we left at a much more reasonable 6:30.) We drove down the main drag on Saturday morning cuz we figured all the college kids would be hungover then. It was still pretty busy downtown. Sunday we headed to KC.

For all that our driving styles are VERY different, we definitely came to realize that he is better at city driving than I am. I maintain that the 2 lanes were really more like 1.5 lanes due to cars being parked IN THE LANE, whereas he maintains there was room in the .5 lane for us to drive. He felt incredibly vindicated as I had given him some grief regarding not driving the speed limit on the way up to KS (as in, BELOW the speed limit, people). We are both equally stubborn however, as he waited until we were about an hour away (both up and down) before switching drivers. For those who are wondering, we took his car, so he was primary driver. I will say, taking the Fiat definitely saved us $ on gas. We are a city rat and a country mouse trying to find a middle ground. Hehe... stay tuned for other shenanigans 🤣

We were headed to KC for Irish Fest. I had decided it was likely we would enjoy some adult beverages, so I got us a room at a hotel within a block of Crown Center. Turned out that was a VERY good thing because within the hour of arriving I realized that every bar was sponsored by a different Catholic parish... so OBVIOUSLY we needed to support each one! Most served beer, some had other drinks, and there were a couple whiskey bars that served Jameson cocktails. We wandered around and looked at beautiful art, listened to fun Irish music, perused the stuff for sale, and both ended up getting shirts to mark the occasion. After all, the Fest just turned 21, so it was of legal drinking age! Hehe.

First drinks of the day... they let me dress my own bloody mary. First time my fella had Five Farms Irish Cream.

Obviously I loved this booth.

KC is famous for its fountains, and of course had to dye them green.

Jameson cocktails 😁

Temporary tattoo. I did get some sun, but it was all tanned by the next day.

Ruben Tots with a whiskey sauce. Soooo gooooood!!

Last drinks at the Fest. Mostly I drank Boulevard's ah sure look which was a dark ale.

We decided to enjoy some of the A/C in our hotel room and relax a bit since it was a VERY hot day. Eventually we got hungry and decided to see what the hotel's restaurant offered. We ended up with a very nice spinach and artichoke dip, I had a Mediterranean bowl, and my fella had a brisket cheese sammich and garlic fries.

All was VERY good.

The next day we got up and headed south. That's when I learned he does not share my "leave early" strategy, as we were up at 9 but didn't leave until 11. He did maintain the speed limit on the way home, which made me think he was in a hurry to get home to TX as Texans lose power the longer they are out of the state. We still stopped for food at a Cowboy Travel Plaza in OK. They had a store, restaurant, arcade, and even a petting zoo outside.

Indoor pirate ship play area for the kiddos.

free pickle bar

We got to his place around 9 to check on the bestest kitty EVER, who certainly seemed to have missed his human. On the way to my place we stopped for some groceries so I'd be good for the week (salads for lunch, bfast sammiches for dinner), then he dropped me off. I put stuff away, boiled my eggs for my lunches, prepared my gym bag, and went to BED! I gotta tell ya, that 6am alarm clock was ROUGH!!!

I'm super stressed at the moment because things are too good. You know? Like, I'm up for a promotion which would come with much more financial freedom, things are getting pretty serious with the fella, I feel stable, grounded, and blessed... and yet I feel like something is going to come along and mess it all up!!! I'm sooooo close to having the life I've been working toward and I'm afraid I'm going to lose it somehow. Just... kinda freaks me out, not gonna lie. Guess we'll have to see how it all pans out.