Adventures with the DMV

The TX Department of Public Safety (Drivers license division) had a website for setting up appointments, as all services are now by appointment only. However, I had been told by some people that if you went to the DMV before they opened and stood in like, they would get you in on the same day, so I thought I'd give it a try. After all, it would be nicer to do this on my terms than wait for my Wednesday apt in Stephenville. Oh foolish, foolish me. 

Friends, the rumors are NOT true. However, what IS true is this. Every morning, Monday thru Friday at 7:45, the DMV posts same-day appt times for those offices that have them. So, I found an appt in Stephenville and J found one in Flower Mound (he needed to renew and had to do it in person this time) so we did a DMV tour of TX. We started at Cleburne, hit a coffee shop in Glen Rose on the way, tried a 2nd coffee shop in Stephenville since we were early, got in to the DMV in Stephenville and got lucky because I got my TX license 2 years ago and they still had my passport on file (I forgot it this time). Then back to the apt for half an hour to rest and so J could get his birth certificate, then up to Flower Mound, then to dinner to let the traffic die down (rush hour) and then home. And all this was done on 4 hrs sleep because the day before the drive line fell out of Js truck, so I had to pick him up from work and bring him home. It was a good (tho long) day.

The map of the DMV tour.

based on our drinks, who do you think is the fun one?? This was at Grounded in Glen Rose.

My Willy Nilly at Cold smoke craft house in Stephenville. If you are in the area, GO, it's so cute and the coffee is AMAZING, the bfast burrito was delicious, and the ambiance was cozy.

just look at how cute that is!!

Anyway, we also dropped by a Walmart and got some stuff for the apt, including an HDMI switch so we can plug in the Nintendo console we got for the living room. I'm gonna beat him SO bad at Dr Mario! Hehehe.

I did not get the bat, tho I wanted the bat. I did send Mo the bat and now SHE wants the bat. Get Mo the bat. I have enough squishies. 

As for me, I had a horrible case of the morbs earlier this week. Just a feeling of impending doom and gloom. I had a behind the right eye migraine that lasted from Wednesday to Thursday and a couple dizzy spells also had me a little freaked out (chiari symptom) so I reached out to my sis who told me to "do something about it." I gently admonished her, saying I am, but the neurologist appt isn't until Aug 2 and all I wanted was a simple "that sucks, dude." The interaction reminded me that some people are about as soothing as sandpaper on a sunburn and THAT is why I keep things to MYSELF! So korea J, you wanted to know why I keep things bottled up and don't talk about my feelings and I'm too damn independent... this, this is it. Too many times as a kid reaching out and hearing "deal with it." Family, this is not meant to be a slam on you, mearly an expression of frustration with society as a whole. "You need to feel your feelings, but not like THAT!" is a shit message. So how does one feel their feelings without letting others know what feelings they are feeling so that they don't affect anyone else's feelings with their feelings?? Sorry, that's too damn much. I'm going to feel what I feel and take ownership of it, but damn it, I'm not responsible for how my feelings make someone ELSE feel! Including if they make them feel uncomfortable. Sorry, feelings make ME uncomfortable and IM the one feeling them, so THERE. There's been a LOT happening in the last few months, and the fact that I haven't reverted to bad habits says a LOT, imo. Tho I suppose I could afford to be nicer to myself.

On that note, I have been going to the apartment gym. I've started back up with my trainer friend who gave me 3 new strength training workouts and a new approach to Cardio (HIIT, but not running), as well as a protein goal (200g per DAY, can you believe it?). He also made me get a new scale since I got rid of my last one (it did not spark joy, so I donated it). And I've been weighing myself. It's been 2 weeks and... crickets. Same. No change. So this is how the texts went. 

This is why I like this guy. No admonishing, no 'try x,y,z" just 'give yourself some grace.' I'm SO bad at that. Part of the morbs may have been just hating that I'd gotten out of the habit of working out (being a couch potato is SO easy), feeling like a failure, stress of learning to be married, all the things weighing on me like the strong chick in Encanto when she's literally got the entire valley on her shoulders. I think she's also the middle child. Read into THAT what you will. 

So what do we do when "just deal" doesn't work? When we are seriously overwhelmed by all the things? Most of the time I can stop the "what if" game, but some days I can't. Part of dealing with anxiety is having a game plan for multiple scenarios and having those game plans involve the what ifs. I had to pull over the other day because I got super dizzy... what if one day I black out without any warning? I get all of my health care at my job, which makes it much more affordable than it would be otherwise. What if (since we don't have a neurologist) I can't get the services covered and I get stuck with massive healthcare bills? These things are not outside the realm of possibility. I'm also scared. But I'm not allowed to be scared because there's nothing to be scared of. BUT THATS WHATS SCARY! The unknown. Too many unknown variables right now. X+Y=Z, but right now X+(a-b*(c-j)/(k/q-p/r)-f)=🤯 and while all this is happening I'm supposed to be 🙂. Never be a bother, if its not ok, no one wants to hear it. Such crap. Anyway, keeping things inside isn't helping so I'm gonna keep using this and my journal as a way to get them out. Please do not take anything here to heart or personally because if I have an issue with anyone ill take it up with them. As a general rule, just let people feel the messy feelings, and be there for them if they need you to be. After I told my sis what I needed she send me 5 gifs of hugs  so that helped. So also, when someone tells you what they need, either deliver or tell them if you can't. Don't just ignore it or do the opposite. That does WAY more damage. 

J and I have also been putting things together in the apt. I hung up the pictures from the wedding, and he's gotten some of his posters framed and put up. We are attempting to figure out how to minimize waste when it comes to grocery shopping, which is interesting. A lot of trial and error is in our future, methinks.

a never ending project.

Anyway, if you made it all the way to here, congrats! Get yourself a cookie! I didn't mean for this post to go off the rails, but then again my life seems to be fairly off the rails, so it's at least mirroring reality. Its going to be messy and crazy and emotional and bewildering and amazing and loving and totally batshit for a while, and I'm 100% in for all of it. Just please give me some grace as I'm trying to process it all. It's a LOT. For my part, I'll remember when I need sandpaper and when I need fluffy blankets (cuz some people are those, too). MUAH! Much love, everyone. Stay cool, TX is almost done preheating 🥵

Work stuffs

Well, I'm stoked. We got 2 grants this past week. One for $134,000 to upgrade our WIFI thru the hospital and another smaller one (not sure how much) that will help pay for my preparation to take the CPHQ exam. (I'll be a Certified Professional of Heahcare Quality.) Basically I'll have the paper that says I do know how to do my job, instead of just X many years of experience. So yay for Professional development. 

We also got the professional pix from our wedding back and they are lovely. We had such a great time 😁 I printed some out to put in our frames for the living room, some for work, and some to send to people. So woot! The last bit is in!!

I've started back up with my trainer guy and this time the goal is just healthy aging. So I've got 3 full body lifting routines, a HIIT plan, and a protein goal. Frankly I'm sore and tired this week. Seems like my sleep schedule is all flubberduckied and figuring out my eating times is being a pain. However, I owe my hubby 50 years (as he does me) so here we are. If only I could figure out why my tummy hates me so much.

That's pretty much it, friends. Not a lot to report on. Hope all is well in your respective worlds. Hugs and love. 

good pic of us and the semesters

OM nom nom

we so cuuuuuute. 

A Peachy Keen Weekend

This weekend was the anniversary of our Houston trip. You know, the one where everything went wrong. Lol. So J wanted to celebrate. We ended up deciding to stay the night in the town we first stopped at on the trip. The first stop was Cooper Farms and the town was Fairfield.

Cooper Farms is a cute store with a little bit of everything but the thing we were looking forward to was the fruit wines. J decided we should both also choose a weird flavored soda to drink, and we got a couple fried pies since I've never had one and they had his favorite. 

We went to dinner at El Jimador and apparently chose VERY well as the place was HOPPIN when we left. Apparently it's also the only place to get a drink around town, but we didn't know that at the time. 

It was amazing.

All the shops we wanted to check out were closed at 6, so we got some peach sangria and went back to the hotel. We tried our weird sodas (sweet, but good) and watched some TV movies until sleepy time.

Day 2 we decided on breakfast at Bobby Jo's donuts before heading downtown to check out the Armadillo Emporium.

Good ham, egg, and cheese croissant and cappuccino (from a machine, with the powder, old school style).

Cute store. The proprietor told us to stop in Corsicana and check out the bakery there, so we did.

Then we wandered around downtown a bit.

Apparently this is where Wolf Brand Chili got started.

nice murals

obligatory selfie (the man does indulge me)

After checking out some thrift stores and kitchen shops, we decided to go to lunch at the Italian place in town.

stuffed mushrooms and garlic knots. Yes, that's a lemon in the middle and they were AMAZING.

a peach bellini for me, to keep with the theme

I don't remember the name of my pasta, but it had chicken, mushrooms, and artichoke hearts. I was in Heaven. 

We headed home via a game exchange place where I found a Mel Brooks movie collection of 8 movies for $10. You can bet we left with that! Hehe. Now its Sunday and I'm gonna head out west to see my friend who needs help cleaning out her closet. 😁 I'm good at the thrift store runs, whether shopping or dropping off!! Hehe. We've been having stuff from the registry delivered, so that's been fun too. Gotta find the places for all the things! Working on the thank you notes as I get addresses for them, so please be patient, they are coming. Now I need stamps... it never ends!! 

Much love, MUAH! 😘

Struggling with self care... but had a good weekend away!

There's a lot of things I'm trying to unlearn. One of them has to do with taking care of myself. I often refer to myself as a recovering people pleaser. It took me AGES to learn that I can, in fact, say "no" to someone when I don't want to do something or go somewhere. I've gotten better at recognizing insincere invitations, obligatory invites, and awkward asks. I still sometimes feel a twinge of guilt when I have to tell someone "no" because something is out of my current scope of ability due to financial stress, social overstimulation, introverted exhaustion, or simply because it's overreaching the boundaries of my perception of our friendship. It's going to be a lifelong struggle, I know, because a lot of these patterns of behavior are well ingrained. Another well ingrained pattern is not spending money on myself if its "frivolous" spending. 

For my Bachelorette party we went to a day spa. We got massages, swam in pools, sweated in saunas, and had yummy drinks. Then we got manicures and pedicures, and ended the day at our favorite mexican place.  That, to me, was a day of decadence. Is it no surprise then that when I booked myself a massage I felt cheeky as hell. Journaling dates with myself are fine, because they are cheap. Less than $20 generally. A fancy coffee and a muffin or bagel is all it takes. But a massage. Those are more expensive! I'm splurging on myself... a massage AND a haircut. Granted they are both a week apart, but still! Look at me go! 

Anyway, enough about me. We had a fun time this weekend. It's near someone's bday, so I thought a weekend out of town would be nice. Turns out, I really enjoy planning fun things for people I love. First things first, i got up early on Friday and went to the social security office to change my name. Its officially hyphenated, as far as the gov is concerned! After that, we headed south and stopped in West for sausage rolls and kolaches, then Waco for coffee and and art exhibit. Drove down to Lockhart for some BBQ lunch/dinner, and then to New Braunfels to stay at the condo. We got some beers and rested, watching some TV until sleepy time.

First stop in Waco

For some reason, it never occurred to me that these book covers were actual paintings!! It still blows my mind.

The other exhibit was the art of Kathy Kolowitz, who was a German artist who lived 1867-1945. Very sobering work, a lot of which centered around how mothers try to shield their children from death. Extremely moving.

Real TX BBQ. Also a trip down memory lane for the hubbster. 😁

My fav beer of the evening. It was such a cute little store. I ALMOST got myself some little cigars, but I didn't. No need to open that door again. 

Next day we woke up, got some bfast tacos, helped the besties dad load up a dresser we didn't want (dump-bound), got snatched up by the bestie and her hubby, and made our way to Seguin! 

Bfast tacos from Tias Taco Hut.

heading out

lunch at the power plant in Seguin, TX. Town motto: it's real.

tastings at the blue lotus winery. Wine and a lot of mead.

meaderita swirl I made. It was AMAZING. We had a LOT of meaderitas. Some time around 630, the drunk man in js brain got loud and we decided we needed pizza! We ordered online at NY pizza pub, then drove there and were WAY early to pick up the pizzas. So, we did what ant rational, drunk humans would do. Sat at the bar and had more drinks! 

Someone, I'm not gonna say WHO, decided we should all have a shot of tequila, but with an orange instead of a lime. It was GOOD. 

Eventually the pizza and garlic knots were ready, so we went back to the condo and had dinner. Then J&D went home, and J and I went to sleep. Sunday we got up, cleaned up  and drove home so that j could go to work. Now i gotta get ready for the week... and the one last thing that's gonna be for his actual bday. 😁 have to save something for the day of, right?? Hehe.

Anyway, I hope all of you are doing well. The haircut is scheduled for Friday, so I'm looking forward to that and then we have another weekend of shenanigans planned. Stay tuned.