So here's the background for those of you who don't know. I graduated from high school in 2002, and I left for college that summer. My experience growing up in this area was... painful. I wasn't popular, I never felt like I belonged, and all I wanted was to see WY in my rear-view mirror. I also wanted to get away from "oh you are _____'s __(insert relationship here)___." I came back for a year after college and felt like I had to get back out ASAP because I had to prove I could make it outside of Fremont county... and the wounds from high school were still fresh, let's be honest. Four years of being away wasn't NEARLY enough to get over all the crap I'd experienced. Outside of a few short visits, I haven't been back for any extended period of time... until now. Technically it's been 19 years, but I'm rounding up to 20. The thing about it is, I'm actually feeling really good about being back after 20 years.
I think that enough time has passed that I no longer carry certain grudges. I'm not the same person I was 20 years ago, so I doubt many of the people who made my life hell are the same people they were, either. I don't feel the need to reconnect with many people, simply because our lives have taken such different directions that we really don't have much in common anymore. Does that make me a bitch? I don't know, and frankly I don't care. I've reached out to some people and I'm looking forward to spending time with them. The thing that hit me last night is that my best friend and the person I want to spend the most time with here is my mom. We got all dressed up and went out to the Depot the other night. We were massively overdressed but neither of us really cared. We are adopting a 'let them stare' policy. Then when I got home from work last night, it was so nice to catch up with her and talk about our days. I am really content spending time with Mom and so far I love my job, so I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy about being back. Which is weird, but a good weird, you know? I'm still not a huge fan of the "are you ____'s ___(IRH)___?" but I also know that's the way of small towns. When I was in Glen Rose an old timer in a bar wanted to know my last name and I figured out it was because he wanted to see what ties I had to the town. I assured him that I had no ties to the town, which seemed to unsettle him. Small towns, gotta love 'em.
My dinner at the Depot - green chili smothered shredded beef burrito. So good!!
I really didn't expect to get a job so quick, either. But I gotta say, it seems like the ladies I'm working with are all really cool. The other day when we were unpacking the liquor order a couple said "yeah, I was asked not to return to my last job, due to my personality" which just made me laugh. There's no pretense with these women, and I love that. After years of navigating duplicity the sheer honesty of "I can come across as an asshole, but I don't MEAN to!" is refreshing. We are a helluva mix of personalities and backgrounds, but if the liquor order was any indication, we're also all hard workers. There's no real hierarchy - the owners are working alongside the cashiers and there's no "treat me different" vibes from anyone. No one has a chip on their shoulder or thinks they are better than anyone else... it's an actual team vibe, which I've only experienced sometimes in other jobs. It's way more physical than anything else I've done (besides working with Dad), so my arms, thighs, and butt should be looking GOOD in a few months. It's also not very far from Mom's, so no worries on the commute. I'm prepared to say that I honestly love my job. The shifts are going to be long - open to close on the days I work - but the days off also make up for that. I'll be working every other weekend, which means that I have 4-day weekends every 2 weeks. My boss said that they wanted to make sure that we have time to live our lives outside of work, and I love that attitude. I love their attitude about a lot of things, to be honest.
So that's where I am right now. I'm happy to be back in Riverton as an adult. From what I've seen on Facebook, they have some fun stuff going on around here. I'm happy to be able to spend some real quality time with Mom and Rex, and to be closer to Dad and Carole. I really missed my people when I was gone, so I intend to enjoy my time with them now. I'm still going to take the FSOT and try to get the job with the State Dept, don't worry. It's just... Riverton is comfortable to me. There's a lot of things they don't have - chain causal dining places comes to mind - but they have local equivalents. It's a weird mix of familiar, and yet still not feeling like I "fit." Which is fair, I never "fit" here... the thing is, this time I'm ok with that. I love the life that I lead and I don't need to answer to anyone, and that's a great place to be.
Much love to you, dear reader, and I hope you are as content with your world as I am with mine. MUAH! :*
It's awesome to have you home for awhile!
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