Since I came back from Korea, I've gained weight. To be fair, the weight gain started before I ever left. I was so miserable and stressed by the time I got on the flight, I know I was no longer at the lowest weight I'd ever been. In the year and a half since the weight has steadily creeped up as my lifestyle became more and more sedentary, fasting kinda went on the back burner as life decided to emotionally pummel me, and I got back to the American way of eating (portion sizes especially). I described it to my old boss as something along the lines of "In Korea there were so many things that I didn't have much control over, so my fasting became the ONE thing I could totally control. I also walked everywhere, so that helped. Here I walk from the building to the car. Grocery shopping is the most walking I do and it's not exactly a power walk thru Kroger. Also, I can get most of the food I want here without guesswork, so it's easy to go overboard. And I'm in control of 98% of my world right now... well... taking a macro view... maybe it's more like 75%, but that's way more than in Korea."
I've decided to tackle my sedentary lifestyle as DVT (deep vein thrombosis - causes blood clots) is a thing that I don't really want. Since I sit in the car, sit at my desk, and sit on the couch, I decided to join the gym (which doubles as the physical therapy department during working hours). I sat (no pun intended) on the membership for a good 2 months. Taking my bag with workout clothes with me to work and then deciding I'm too tired after work and going home. Well this past week, I finally did it. Then I decided I HAD to share Mandi's Motivation Journey.
Step 1: get gym membership and code for door.
Step 2: pack bag of gym clothes and swear that you're gonna go this week.
Step 3: decide you're too tired and go home instead.
Repeat steps 2 and 3 for a good 4-6 weeks.
Step 4: get on scale at home and be sad the # isn't better.
Step 5: repeat step 2 and 3 one more time
Step 6: repeat step 4 again and realize the trajectory you are on
Step 7: tell boss of said trajectory. Talking about the gym with someone else will make them also feel guilty for not going and they will inevitably offer to go with you on Monday. Confirm with boss that the likelihood of anyone else being there at the time you'd like to go is miniscule.
Step 8: bring food, gym bag, and a can-do attitude to work. Dress in an outfit that highlights your LEAST favorite body part. Glance at said part in every reflection you can ALL DAY. Mentally celebrate the fact that boss is leaving early and won't be going to the gym with you, as you'd prefer no one to witness what is sure to be the saddest workout EVER.
Step 9: change into gym clothes at work.
Step 10: drive across the street (because who wants to try running across the street in the US without a traffic light and a crosswalk?).
Step 11: make sure to have code for door. Ends up not mattering because the 3 people who were in the gym are finishing their workout and are on their way out the door when you walk in. Exchange pleasantries, walk into the area with all the equipment, CELEBRATE mentally that you are the ONLY one in the place.
Step 12: take obligatory selfie of pre-workout attitude and torture device of choice. Note the fellow gym goers and take a pic of that, too, because same dude, same.
Step 13: do the damn workout.
Step 14: take obligatory post-workout pic, which turns out blurry because you are shaking like a leaf, only managing to do 25 mins on the elliptical, which is better than no minutes on the elliptical, so there's that.
***photo was since deleted and author has chosen not to re-download to share here***
Step 15: go home, take shower, complain about steps 7-14 to whomever will listen (seester, A, and fella - playing up the pain for dramatic effect, of course).
Pre-shower home pic wondering what the heck I just did to myself.
Step 16: pack gym bag and promise that you'll go back tomorrow.
Step 17: actually go back... but this time choose the treadmill, watch Ruining History on your phone, power walk like no one's business, get spooked when someone else comes in and turns on the lights, nod pleasantly at said person, continue power walking, and congratulate yourself on a 40 min workout (incline of 3, speed of 3.5).
Step 18: realize that you do feel better about getting off your butt and moving, resolve to continue, and plan to start gradually introducing weights and things next week (looking at you, walking lunges).
Step 19: share on your blog to make other people laugh/groan, experience gym guilt.
The Jim relationship is on yet again, but this time I feel like my focus has changed. I would still like to lose weight and get to my goal, but I also understand that this body is what I'm going to be living in for quite a while. It's my job to try to keep it healthy, and unfortunately the gym (combined with fasting) is the best way for me to do that. So the plan is to work out 3-4 times a week when I'm in Glen Rose. As the weather gets better, my fella and I are planning to do more activities outdoors, so that will help as well. I have a simple goal of not being on my butt for at least 30 mins every day... I think that's attainable.
Now, I'm not saying that my job is trying to derail my progress, but having the office PAST the snacks is definitely testing my resolve!!!
Also, if you can't tell that I've gained, I appreciate you but you're gonna have to trust me on this. Again, I either have the best or worst body for weight - it doesn't show until it's around 50 lbs in either direction. Sigh. At least my blood work is still good.
So there's my post about Jim and my resolve to continue utilizing the physical therapy torture devices so that hopefully when I'm older I won't have to use the same torture devices post-catastrophic (potentially preventable) accident/medical issue. Just like I'm going to spend my whole life in my head (so I need to be kind to myself mentally), I'm going to spend my whole life in my body (might as well try to keep it running smoothly).
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