Getting Closer

All the papers have gone thru and we are good to meet with the priest when he gets back from his vacation (grr, snarl) on Feb 16. I'm gonna have everything ready so as soon as we have the date set, we can order the invites, get them sent out, and book the reception venue... not necessarily in that order. We ordered our rings, so that's exciting. My sis told me we are weird cuz we didn't get shopping for the rings, but honestly the thought of going to a store gives me the heebie jeebies. I like how we did it, and the rings will be quite beautiful. So still we wait, but at least we got the green light. 

I've started boxing up some stuff since I'll be moving before J does. Some of it, I feel like I should really just get rid of, but it represents something to me. Will I ever NEED the notes from my classes I took for my master's? Probably not. Do I want to throw them away? Noooooo. They represent a LOT of work, and I'm still paying off the loans! Lol. On that note, thanks to the interest on those loans, I got a refund from the gov. Otherwise I was gonna owe them $14. Hehe. I've got boxes of "give away" ready to go, and we have about 5 apt complexes to go look at. We decided on an apt over a house cuz houses are more $ and this way we can save to buy our own house! Or whatever, you know... go on epic trips. 😁

Things have settled down for now, it seems. We were able to have a lazy day together, which is one of my favorite things, and we are making plans for stuff. We made our invites (waiting till the 16th to order then, in case changes need to be made), and I may mess around with the wedding website today.

One thing I'm struggling with is feeling guilty about the changes he is having to make. When we move, his commute will probably double. He already doesn't have as much time with his people (thats part me, part his work), and when he is free, he chooses to be with me. As a recovering people pleaser, every time he tells me something like this, it's like a little cut to my heart. I don't want him to have to drive farther, but I also don't want to saddle myself with a 1.5 hr commute. I'm sorry he doesn't get to spend as much time with his people, and I selfishly want to spend our time off together. It's tough. I suppose I need to remember that he is his own person and makes his own decisions, and me feeling guilty doesn't accomplish anything. We talked about this some last night, which was also new and strange to me. We also touched on the big scary, which is the whole: giving someone my love also gives them the ability to destroy me, while trusting that they won't, thing. I've never been in this situation, I've never trusted someone this much. It's terrifying. However, the fact that he allowed me to be vulnerable and didn't mock me for it or make a joke about it, or just brush me off like it was nothing... that was incredible. I haven't gotten that kind of support often, and it helped me to know this is a man I can grow old with (in hoverchairs since wheelchairs will be old tech by then 🤣). A man who validates my feelings and helps to process my fears, WHAAAT??? This exists??? 

Anyway, we did go to the compromise place this weekend to check out the "old town" part of it. We had some disappointing beers and foods at a place, geeked out at the GeekOut store, walked around a bit, then were stuck in some of traffic on i-20, 303, AND downtown Arlington on our way to division brewery for an actual GOOD beer before we dropped back by his place and I went home to mine.

They had 2 trolley cars we could go thru. I'd show you more pix of that, but for some reason every time I try to add one, they go the wrong way (landscape, not portrait) and its pissing me off. As you can see, it was a beautiful day, I've even had my windows open most of the weekend. 😁

So, since the pix are being annoying, you'll just have to come visit when we are in our new place. I'm moving in at the end of March, then J will follow sometime after the wedding. We also decided on a place to go for our honeymoon, so really as soon as we have the date set we can book the reception venue, our photographer, and then really start looking for somewhere to do hair and makeup for 4 ladies on the day of. The big things are easy, the small details are a pain in the butt. MUAH! Love to all, please pray for us if you are a praying person, send good vibes thru the universe, or whatever you do to send good juju for us. This is all new and scary for me. I need to find that disturbed song where he's saying something about protecting yourself for too long... I feel like it's an apt description for me right now. Hugs, friends.