Protein Coffee FTW!

I never know if it's protein or protien and apparently I use both so often my phone doesn't even know anymore. Lol. The point is, i love the Chike coffee (the cinnamon one is HEAVEN). Now if anyone ever makes protein margaritas or wine, I'll hit the MAX protein goal!! Lol... as it is, I'm happy to hit the 144g Doobz told me to. Someone told me the goal should be my body weight in grams and I LAUGHED... told em I wasn't bulking, I'm trying to LOSE! 😆 I didn't make my goal of gym 3x a week this time, but considering how the week turned out, I'm ok with it. I think I can hit 4x next week so I can get back in the groove. 

It's been a week... thankfully A and I were able to have a little Galentines day on thurs in Eastland. A much needed therapy and margarita sesson. Catching up on ALL THE THINGS! 

Then it was V-day.

On the way home on Friday I stopped by papa murphys to get a heart shaped pizza and a salad. Then I went wingstop for wings and fries, finally to nothing bundt cakes for dessert. Hubbs and I had a lovely late lunch together and then spent the day being lazy and watching What We Do in the Shadows the show. It was just the lazy we needed.

Ace 2 seconds before CHAOS!

Saturday we went and spent time with the in-laws. Hubbs changed the tail lights on one of his nephews cars, and after we got torchys tacos. 

Sunday as always is a prep day for me. I went grocery shopping, made chicken Chipotle bowls with baked sweet potatoes, prepped a salmon sushi bowl, cleaned the kitchen, figured out my outfits for the week, prepped the gym bag, and just generally prepared myself for the week. Wednesday I'm taking off work for a doc and dentist appt, then fri is my follow up neuro. Woot. Gotta make sure that cyst on my pituitary gland isn't doing anything it's not supposed to, and I need a teeth cleaning since my last dentist visit was 2018-ish. Hehe.

On a deeper note, navigating life without hubbs' brother is hard. I am no stranger to grief, but I've also never been in this situation. It's hard wanting to take some of the pain away, trying to make some things easier on him which means taking more things on myself. Sometimes I don't think I have the capacity for all the things. As always, I turn to what I know and what I can control, while my heart breaks for my love. Neither of us knows how to navigate this horrible reality. Everyone is hurting and it's still so raw... like an open wound. 

We are living thru what I'm probably going to call the Valley of Suck at the moment. The unreality of a world without his brother, the emotions, the unknowing, the unending pain of the loss... which I know won't ever go away, we just adjust to it. Eventually things become 'real' again, we find the ability to continue our lives... and there is no timeline for the Valley of Suck. The grief sometimes hits like a dagger thru the heart, and other times it's more like a thorn you just can't dig out. 

Your continued prayers for us and all the family are appreciated. I hope you are holding your loved ones close, taking care of yourself, and remembering that you are loved. 🥰🥰🥰