Talked to Mo tonight for over an hour. When it was time to go she asked if she should let me go so that I could get some sleep. I said no, I wanted her to stay on the phone with me until I was asleep. Logistically and logically this was absurd, but I've missed having that connection. Which got me thinking - I've posted before about how much living in another country is stressful and how we are all trying to figure out how to manage it. However, I haven't really dwelt on our need for meaningful connections with our fellow humans.
I think that's part of the reason why when our expectations of how someone will be are not met, it throws us for a loop. As expats, we all miss those connections that we have with people back home - whether we live with them or not. So we try to make new connections here - we have so much more riding on these possible interactions with people that it seems things can progress at exponential rates. People we have only known a relatively short period of time can become totally crucial to our survival. When we are unable to form these connections, we search them out in other ways - which (I postulate) contributes to the hookup culture among expats. I also think that when one feels such a connection but the other doesn't, that is what leads to the 'real world' type drama that I abhor.
My friend James also said something today about how Korea is making him figure out new coping mechanisms. Dude, SAME! I don't have the option to go for a long drive, call my family randomly, clean my apt (this one is too small, I don't let it get dirty), bake cookies, or any of the other things I would do back home. What am I left with? Smoking cigs and drinking excessively. Not going to lie, I've been fighting the urge to get whiskey drunk for at least 2 weekends now. Yes, I know getting whiskey drunk isn't going to solve anything and will probably lead to more bad decisions, but it's something that is in fact available here in Korea! I had the thought that I could go the other way and become a fitness buff... but you should have HEARD the voices in my head laughing at that one. It may end up being what I go with - at least getting back into yoga or something. I've always had great unhealthy coping mechanisms, what about trying a healthy one and seeing if I can stick with it?
Anyway, these are the thoughts that I had when I realized that I've unlocked a whole new level of missing people. I'm glad that we live in an age where over seas calls can be made via free apps and websites, but there is no substitute for a hug from a person that you know loves you. I do miss my family - I know I'd miss them in the states too, but at least there I can call whenever I want. The convenience of home is what I miss most, I guess. Anyway, this has been the latest episode of Mandi's thoughts after midnight. Much love to all and I miss you. Nothing much planned for this weekend, so it might be a slow blog week. I'm listening to a lot of classic rock lately, too... this time of year, being so far away... it's gonna be brutal.
Love and hugs from Korea - Me
No comments:
Post a Comment