My Last Week

 It's been a bit of a roller coaster, I'm not gonna lie.  Immersion is at an end, and so is my time at this job.  I have to tell you, one of the best ideas I had was for my highest level classes.  We have writing notebook assignments every week.  This week's assignment was supposed to be something about "write a letter to someone that you think doesn't get enough appreciation."  I told them that since I'm leaving, they could write anything they wanted - it didn't need to be a full page, it just needed to be full sentences.  Some took it and ran by writing me long letters, others wrote 2 sentences.  The point (for me) was giving them a bit of a break, making it easier for me to grade them so I could give them back on Friday, and seeing what they wanted to say.  I have to say, some of them warmed my heart - and I'll share those with you.  

Marina is one of my best students, and don't worry, I corrected "Firstable" to "First of all."  I have a feeling she's only ever heard that one, never seen it written.

I think it's cute how many of them were worried about my health.  I wrote to most telling them that I promise I'll be safe.

I think because I know I'm not cut out for teaching, knowing that some of the kids will remember me well makes me think that this experiment wasn't such a bust after all.

I have to tell you, the best question I got when I started telling people that I'm going home is "Why?"  The kids ask it and my Korean co-teachers ask it.  For a while it made me wonder "What can I say?"  I've defaulted to "I haven't been home for 2 years, I need to see my family."  If I were to be more accurate it might be something more like "I haven't had a real break for 2 years, I'm burned out, I'm exhausted.  I need to see my family and friends and remember what it's like to be surrounded by people who love and respect me.  I've had a good time here in Korea, and I'll take with me all the good memories, but I want to be able to walk down the street without feeling judged for being different.  I want to be able to go out with my friends and say whatever I want without having to worry about it coming back to bite me on the butt.  I want to be somewhere for a while where I'm just me, I'm not representing every foreign teacher in the country.  Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed my time here, but these micro-stressors do get heavy after a while and I need to get my happy butt home!"  Not to mention how much I miss driving, knowing what I'm ordering at restaurants, and chatting with the check-out person at the grocery store.  Some people have asked what I'll do next, and I mention the FSOT and working for the state dept.  I do plan on making that happen.  One co-teacher said something like "So no plans to settle down, get married, have a family?" and I said "No, that's never been something that's been really important to me."  I've just come around to the idea of getting married, but I'd need to marry a nomad like myself.  "Settling down" has too many negative connotations to my mind.  

It's been an emotional roller coaster since I finished work.  Some of my kiddos gave me presents, some gave hugs, they are really sweet.

I'll need to be able to process more before my next post.  Lots of cleaning, giving things away, and about to be a lot of packing.  Hugs and love, friends.