Well, after the last pseudo-depressing post, I'm happy to report that all is good. It's nice when people show you their true colors and you can move on without investing more in them. Now I know when someone ignores your questions and your requests it's not because they are busy, it's because they don't want to and also don't way to SAY they don't want to. Sigh... so it's back to the dating app.
In the meantime, I'm struggling with the fact that I've definitely gained weight and that applying for jobs sucks. I'm applying for remote work at the moment. That means I can do my job from anywhere. I can stay here with Mom for longer (higher pay + cheap rent = paying off loans WAY faster) and eventually maybe even spend some quality time in WA with M&M. If I have a job, I can even move to KS or TX and not have to worry about being unemployed. In the meantime, I think I can stand staying in R-town if I'm not working retail. Limited interaction with others, that's the ticket! LOL - tho it is nice when old friends drop by.
To give you some insight regarding the weight, I was looking back thru my pix and not too long ago I looked like this:
Now, of course, I look like this:
To me (besides the longer hair) the biggest difference is I'm not seeing as much definition in my cheekbones. In case you are wondering, my jeans still fit tho they are quite tight. Not comfy-tight, more like squeeze into a sausage casing tight. I desperately need to get back to my every-other-day long fasts... tho my nose doesn't seem to be quite as prominent... anyway, I am still grateful that I no longer look like this:
People wonder when I tell them that I've lost quite a lot of weight. Well, here's the photographic evidence, my friends. I don't think I'd ever let myself get to this again, but just knowing that I've put on some pounds makes me nervous. One good thing about living with Mom is that she understands the fasting and also does it herself. We have determined that we need to make Mondays and Wednesdays full-on-fast days. The rest of the time I think my best plan is a late lunch and then see how I feel for dinner. I never realized how important it is to have supportive people around you for things like this. J didn't understand, but eventually came around. I'm learning that's a super rare quality in a person. LOVE AND MISS YOU, J!
Of course, life isn't all "OMG, I'm getting fat again!", "UUUUGH, just HIRE me already! You won't regret it, I promise.", and "Dating is a nightmare - this guy really put THAT on his profile?" The normal, day to day stuff is as it has been. I've been icing my back at night, which is helping considerably with what I suspect is a slipped disc. I still love being with Mom and I'm grateful that I have wonderful friends all over whom I can text "I'm feeling insecure" and they remind me why I'm awesome. Here's some pix of things that make me smile thru the day:
Chevy - such a pretty kitty and when he wants loves, he's sooo sweet.
I still love this beer - we have 3 gift packs left at work and on payday I'm bringing home one of them! I'm telling you, Belgian monks make the BEST beer. I'm sad we won't have any more Westmalle for a while.
Mom and I love when we do our "snacks for dinner" kind of night. The wine in the pic is the one from the cat bottles - Mom bought one to try it out. Quite a nice reisling, tbh. The meat and cheese was a Christmas present from our friend A&M and was AMAZING. I'm afraid my tum tum wasn't happy early this AM, but I'm guessing that's because I didn't take my bile pills. One reason I want insurance - my tum tum has been weird as hell lately and I'm afraid something may be horribly wrong. (American health care... smh.)
Levi always seems to be posing when he sits on my lap and wants his loves.
He also seems like he's ready to launch himself on one of his unsuspecting siblings. This cat totally deserves the title "domestic terrorist" as he loves to just be naughty for naughty's sake.
So it's not all doom and gloom and "when will I get x, y, and z goals?" I am on my way to learning French (on lesson #8 and I can confidently say "Bonjour!" LOL, J/K, I can ask you when/where you want to eat/drink something), keeping an eye on the government job boards, and praying (less than I probably should, but then again God and I have always had a difficult relationship). There's a lot of demand for remote work these days and most of those jobs come with benefits and PTO, which are 2 things that I desperately miss from working corporate jobs. Well, to be fair I miss the insurance in Korea... they have that crap FIGURED OUT!
That's where it's at, my friends. Keep on keepin' on, as they say. I work toward my professional goals much the same way I work toward personal ones, tbh. Job boards, dating sites, resumes, family rundowns, interviews, first dates, it's all the same. So I keep moving forward, learning as I go and hoping to find a good fit both professionally and personally. MUAH! :* much love, friends
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