A Spiritual Pummeling to start Holy Week

My friend T from back home posted a link on his FB page for a Virtual Catholic Conference this past weekend.  It seemed like a good way to start my Holy Week since the Cathedral is still closed and confession and Mass remain out of reach.  I signed up in the grand hopes of nothing much - maybe some good talks, another way of looking at things, maybe find some hope in the uncertainty of living through the virus.  Today I started through the keynote speakers.  I figured I'd take some notes as I am well aware that I am still healing.  The first 2 talks were good and then came the third by Sr. Miriam James Heiland (not Hetfield, tho it made me giggle for a min) and talk about a sledgehammer to the soul.

Her talk was called "For a Time Such as This: Brave Love Poured Out."  There were a couple things she said that resonated with me considering what I've been through these past few months.  She likened what is happening now to 'storms' in our lives.  From Scripture she referred to the storm where Jesus was sleeping in the boat and the disciples were scared so they woke him up.  She mentioned that she had been through storms in her own life where she would have 'rather jumped out of the boat and into the sea than stay in the boat and see what happened.'  If that's not a euphemism for suicide or being suicidal, I don't know what is.  She also mentioned something about 'the self-destructive turning inwards' that is sometimes our response to the storms of life.  I WAS JUST THERE.  What better way to describe my descent down the spiral of my mental heath than self-destructively turning inward.  I had become nearly blind to all the good in my life because I was too focused on the pain - too focused on the storm.  I am not ashamed to admit that I had to watch her video twice because the first time I was overcome and yes, tears were shed.  She reminded us that Jesus is a healer, and that we are loved.  The concepts seem so simple and yet when you think about them they are truly profound.  She also said that we were chosen to live in these times, that God has a plan for us during these storms, and to respond to these with love is to love bravely.  I'm going to be contemplating this for quite some time, I think.  I may be paraphrasing here, but I paused a lot to get down most of it word for word - "We are choosing to love bravely when we don't run away, we don't numb out (ouch), we don't try to waste the time but we're choosing this time to show up to life even in the pain, even in the difficulty, knowing the Lord is there and saying 'Lord, reveal yourself...'"  If this is the Lentiest Lent that ever Lented, then I think this Holy Week may be culmination of all the Lentiness of Lent.

I ended up getting the package that means I'll have unlimited access to all the talks (both the men's and the women's).  Some are more geared towards those who are married and raising kids, but it seems like there will be good spiritual seeds to find with more time than just the afternoon to dedicate to them.  Also, some recovery time after a pummeling is usually a good thing.

Moving on to what I did on Saturday - M(C) and I went to Gangnam to try Masa Taco at the recommendation of G.  We found the place with no problems and when I saw the sign outside, I was sold.  That's right, sugar skull and all!  The food was decently priced and at reasonable portions (unlike Vatos where I can't finish a whole burrito).  I plan to go back to try their margaritas, the tot taco appetizer, and guacamole.  Apparently these started in LA, and while the salsa wasn't spicy when they brought some hot sauce there was a decent enough kick to it. 

 Good sign.

 The beginning (we also had 2 pork tacos, but we devoured those before I remembered to get a pic).  Mine is carne asada with refried beans and M(C) got pork.

The aftermath.  MUAH HA HA HA HAAAA

 I also had to go for thyroid blood work, and on my walk to the hospital I snapped this picture just to give you an idea of how beautiful the cherry trees are.

 Then I found some blossoms that were the pink that we all associate with them.

So pretty!!  Spring is officially sprung in Korea (sorry WY peeps with your 4 inches of SNOW).  I was going to go to the store today, but now I'm feeling a little strung out and exhausted (emotions do that to me) so I think I'll go get a salad, fry up some sausages, and maybe have a baked potato since the last potato I have is getting a bit... sprouty. 

Update on work: we are teaching all of our classes online starting Monday, and still on a reduced schedule (1:30-7:30).  I don't like having lots of background noise in class, so I have a feeling I'll be using the 'mute all' feature quite a bit.  I think the kids are still out of school until at least April 19th, and there has been some worry about a resurgence in Covid-19 cases since more people are going outside now that the weather is warm.  In other news, I'm finding it difficult to sit for long periods of time anymore... going back to a desk job is going to be... interesting.

Much love to all, have a good Holy Week, and stay kind to each other.  MUAH!  :*