So I hit a milestone last week. That's right, according to the scale, I am 90 lbs lighter than I was in March 2018 when I started this process. Hitting that milestone seems to have flipped a switch in my brain... either that, or it was the outfit I was wearing (a medium shirt, nbd). Whatever the cause, I felt GOOD on Tuesday. I looked in the mirror and I think I finally saw "all that weight" as being gone.
Which leads me into my insights for the day... when you compartmentalize too much, it's hard to see the big picture. I have been tracking my weight loss by week, year and total. So I can tell you that the first year I lost 53.5 lbs, 2nd year was 29.6, and this year has been a slow 7 lbs (you should see my spreadsheet, my old boss would be proud). The funny thing is, since I see my weight loss by years, it throws me off to hear someone who saw me 30 lbs ago ask "How did you lose all that weight?" I have to go "Oh yeah... you saw me LAST year... I guess you can notice." I do have my before and during pix, but it isn't like I look at those all the time or anything. For the most part, I have the same clothes that I had before (certain sweaters have been with me about 10 years I think), so it's hard for me to really see the progress. Then I took these on Tuesday...
I wanted a cute pic for Instagram...
And I ended up feeling SO good.
The grey shirt is one that I bought from Amazon, I thought it was fun and I got it in a medium. Something about it just made me feel so good - the neck isn't too tight, the shirt fits well, I can wear it over my thermals with no problem... it was just a really, really nice feeling. For the first time after I got dressed I looked in the mirror and thought "Wow... I kinda feel skinny!" I haven't felt 'skinny' in my LIFE! Closest I got was when I lost some weight as a kid - and I'm close now to where I was then (don't ask about the hows, I don't want to have to lie to you). This weight loss has been a roller coaster of emotions and experimenting and healing and learning and I gotta tell you, it's been tough at times. However, I look at myself now then I look at myself 4 years ago and I think it's all been worth it. Yes, I still would like to lose 10 lbs because it just seems so nice to be able to say "I lost 100 lbs." Anything more than that seems like some kind of weird dream, not gonna lie. I figure I'll see how I feel, and how I look, and decide when it's time to go to 'maintenance.' Though I'll probably end up doing that when I come home anyway because there is a LOT of food I'm gonna want to eat, so eating one meal a day will be the norm for a while at least.
In the meantime, I gotta admit, I'm excited to go clothes shopping when I get back. I get to find out what size jeans I can fit into (nothing too expensive, but something that fits will be nice), get some more shirts that fit, see my good friends to go shopping with... GET SOCKS!!! Most of the ones I brought with me are NOT coming home, the ones that are will be the ones AL sent me. There's a bag of clothes that is saying in Korea... including my jeans cuz you know... chub rub is real. :D
There's not much else going on in my world, so I thought I'd just share these thoughts with you. I'm gearing up for my lazy Christmas day (super excited), I'm not sure if I'm making good or bad choices in my dating life, so I'm going to hold off until I know for sure before sharing much (seems like a good idea), and we have Friday off this week and Thrus and Fri off next week, which is exciting! Today my kids are going to be recording their songs that they've been practicing and I can't wait to see my Sapling 2's singing 'Jingle Bell Rock' - they are SO CUTE!!! Much love from Korea - man what a ride this has been ;)
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