1) I need to listen to my gut. I've felt when things have 'gone off' as it were. When the vibe isn't right, whatever you want to call it. For some reason, instead of confirming my suspicions, I've continued with the status quo and told myself that I'm being paranoid. I'm not. When I pay attention to his actions and not his words, it's all clear. My problem is, I REALLY want to believe the words. I'm so tired of looking for my Gomez, I'm tired of first dates, I'm tired of what consists of "modern" dating (the cycle of text, talk, meet, NEXT) so I latch on to their words, knowing full well that they are merely telling me what they know I want to hear. Then when they are fully MIA, I sit, knowing I was right all along and wishing, WISHING, I had been wrong or that I had cut the tie when I first felt the change.
2) If they wanted to, they would. I keep coming back to this. Also "no response is a response." NO one is too busy to send a text, and if someone cares about you, they tell you. If not... well then he's just not that into me. Such is life and on to the next one it is.
3) Know my deal-breakers and stick to em. I don't want to date men with kids. Why? Historically they've used their kids as excuses for not being available. This past one went from "I want you to meet my kid" to nada real quick, but never said he had changed his mind. Oh, he still wanted me to sneak over when she was sleeping tho... cuz you know, THAT wouldn't have scarred her for life if she woke up to a strange woman in the house. Yes, it limits the dating pool to have this as a rule, but ultimately I think it's better for my frame of mind. I don't want to be someone who demands the kids medical records if the reason for canceling involves them catching the flu!! There it is. I can't trust them NOT to use the kids as excuses.
4) I am just fine as I am, tho I shouldn't stop working on my issues. I know I have issues stemming from feeling ignored and/or ridiculed throughout my life. I know I get over excited when I like someone and I want to be in constant contact with them 24/7. I'm working on that. With that being said, if I have to demand the minimum amount of effort, see #2. I'm not very high maintenance. Just text me at least 1x per day, ask me on dates, and tell me I'm pretty! That's all I need to know 1) you're thinking of me, 2) you enjoy my company/want to see me and 3) you appreciate the effort I made for you. That's it, that's all I need. Don't leave me on read, and don't disappear for 24 hours without some kind of "Hey, the shit is hitting the fan, lemme get back with you when I can." So many guys have said "communication is key" and then... failed to communicate. Don't just pass on internet pseudo-wisdom, back it up with ACTIONS!!!
Finally, 5) Take a break when it's not fun anymore. Dating shouldn't be a chore. I'm not going to (online) date until I get my hope back. In the meantime I'll focus on moi! I've got a trip to WA in April, housesitting when I get back, then Atreyu in May and a bestie trip. I do a good job taking care of me 😁
Anyway, just wanted to share some thoughts about what has gone down in the last 6 months and end of 2 "relationships." Honestly I'm not even sure this last one counts. It was a week of constant messaging, a weekend of dating and then 4 weeks of messing with my head. Sigh. Ah well, live and learn.
As promised, here is the pic of the cake.
Anyway, just wanted to share those thoughts. The bride above had the idea of me writing down where i want to be in 10 years, what my circumstances would be, etc. I like that idea, but that might be better suited for a journal instead of a blog. 😉😘 much love, all!!
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