Challenges

I knew being married would come with some challenges. However, I am prepared to say that being married and working different shifts make the usual marital challenges even MORE challenging. I've been struggling lately with how to make sure we are staying connected as a couple who doesn't see each other very much. I mean, we basically have Friday afternoons (assuming nothing is happening that means an early AM), Saturdays, and an hour or so on Sunday before he goes to work. Generally, due to our schedules, one of us is sleeping when the other is awake. We do what we can during the week. We text during the day when we are both at work and we make sure to say hello when he gets home and goodbye when I go to work. He cooks for himself, I cook for myself.

I guess I had a lot of preconceived ideas about what being married is like, and most of those were predicated on working similar schedules. Most of the advice online is about making sure to connect with your partner in the evenings... we can't do that. Have date nights during the week, yeah, can't do that, either. We have some ideas of what we can do together to help, but the hardest thing is making sure we are both rested when we do things. My poor hubbs is often sleep deprived on the weekends when we are doing things which would be the equivalent of the middle of the night if roles were reversed. Time together is precious, I don't want to spend it fighting over things we can't really do anything about. It's hard to make time to talk about important "couple-y" stuff, because we want to do that when we are both rested and awake... as mentioned, that's sometimes difficult to achieve.

We have talked about these things, and before you come at me for sharing super personal stuff know that I had hubbs read this before I published. 

I think the biggest thing for me especially has been learning how to be vulnerable with him. I've never trusted someone that I was romantically involved with with so much of myself. I'm used to holding back because I knew one of us would end it. That's no longer the case, so trying to find words for what I'm feeling, and convey the inner turmoil, fears, hopes, shattered expectations, depth of love, and unexpected care of life married to this wonderful, sweet, generous, amazing man is hell sometimes! We are both flawed humans who have experiences that have shaped our conflict styles and learning how to acclimate to that is TOUGH. So I have to learn how to be vulnerable and tell him when I'm feeling a certain way, or when I feel like we're disconnected, and also try to come up with solutions. I don't want to just dump on him, tho I'm afraid I have done that once or twice (or more), but damnit, I miss him during the week! Sleepy kisses and loving goodbyes are great, but I want more! Evening gym together, dinners, and couch cuddles would be nice. Not that I really expect him to change his schedule... I just don't get enough of him. Anyway, just wanted to share some of that because it has been heavy on my heart and if any of you have any tips or tricks from when you worked different schedules from your significant other, I'd really like to hear them. Looking at my nurse friends, don't tell me you don't understand this one!

I love him so much... and time is so precious... he laughs at me for requiring obligatory selfies but I know all too well sometimes all we have left are pictures and memories. He does sometimes ask that I not share ones that are particularly unflattering. 😊 those are just for ME! Hehe. He's so darn CUTE!!! I love our life together. I love our home and our kitty, and our conflicts, and our  cuddles, and our friends, and all of it. There's just some challenges we are facing, and I feel like we are fighting against complacency. It's all too easy to slip into "roomie" hood. Hopefully with both of us making an effort to stay connected, we can fight off when the "roomie" starts creeping in. 

Our neighborhood watch cat.

Our CEOs bday was this past week, so we got him with water guns! My boss tells me I should load mine with a hard liquor of my choice. Lol... I'd like to reiterate this was my BOSS'S idea. I probably won't do it tho... then the things I don't say would get said and I'd probably be fired. Lmao.

It could work tho, right?

Let me tell you a little story about my boss. When I called out from work on the day hubbs and I played hookie, I didn't tell him why I wasn't coming in. He also didn't ask. Just "ok, see you in 2 days." Well later I found out that he and my friend E went down the rabbit hole of reasons I wasn't there. E even went so far as to say I was probably being wheeled back for brain surgery when I texted him! They are somewhat justified, as I'd just gotten a bunch of hormone tests done because of the cyst on my pituitary gland. So I laughed a LOT that day when I said no, hubbs and I just did our sexy taxes and spent the day together. Now boss tells me if ever I do that again, just tell him I'm burning PTO so they don't worry! I don't want to tho, cuz it's entertaining to hear all the reasons they think I'm not there. LMAO. I'm grateful he doesn't make me try to lie about why I'm not coming in. I'm a terrible liar. 

Thurs I went out to Eastland to have margarita therapy with A. It was highly needed, as always, and I'd say my mental break had been pushed back again. Lol.

Fri I got my moisture meters in, so I can check on the plants without shoving my finger into the soil. They are both just fine, and I think tomorrow I'll put the tomato in full sunlight. 😁 I'm gonna be an urban farmer! Hehe.

Sat hubbs and I went to the farmers market for sourdough and veggies. We also tried a new place that just opened. Twisted Sisters Taphouse and pizzeria. 32 beers on tap! So yummy!! Unfortunately hubbs wasn't feeling great after this, so we went home for him to nap.

Brusctta and skillet garlic, cheese, and butter bombs. 😋

SO GOOD

Nutella pizza for dessert 

The ambiance is AMAZING! SUPER nice.

Plants are doing OK

I love my moisture meter. 

Sunday, as you know, is prep day. Hubby wants chicken with roasted potatoes and carrots. I'm hoping they'll have broccoli slaw at Kroger so I can do a Thai broccoli chickpea slaw with teriyaki chicken. So, lots of chicken this week 😁 Then it's laundry, picking outfits for the week, and cleaning. I've also been fighting with Groupon because their merchant hasn't returned my calls, the voucher expired, and now I just want my $ back. They keep telling me to call again. You know how much I love calling people, leaving voicemails, being ignored, and repeating myself, right???? This is a friggin NIGHTMARE. No other way to reach them, either, and their website form doesn't work... suspicious much??? So f-ing done with Groupon and this merchant. But to show willing, I shall call again on Monday, give them until Wednesday, and then get after Groupon AGAIN. I swear, every time they email me it's from a new person. This is SUCH BS. 

So thats me, a big ball of frustration and at a loss for how to ensure hubbs and I stay connected in real life as well as on messenger. Sigh. I need a hug. 

Much love all, I hope when you leave messages they are returned in a timely manner. 🙄🤪🥰