Deep Thoughts in Tough Times

I saw something recently that is sticking with me. It was a tweet or meme or something that said "No marriage ends happy. They all end in either death or divorce." That's true. The ending of a marriage is not happy (except in some divorce cases, see Nicole Kidman after she divorced Tom cruise). I think the point the person was trying to make was to not get married since you're only signing up for heartache. In the comments, someone pointed out that its true of all relationships. Friends either fall out or die, family often falls out and dies, no relationship really ends happy. Is that a reason to become a hermit and never get close to anyone ever again? Some may say yes. For years, I thought that by protecting myself from getting too close to someone I'd be less likely to suffer heartache when they inevitably ceased in my world. You know what actually happened? I was extremely lonely and people snuck in anyway. So my life is a cycle of joy and pain, which is just how life is. There may be some truly touched people in the world who rarely if ever have things go not according to their preferences. Those blessed few whose life truly is roses and sunbeams. For the vast majority of us, however, life is a series of ups and downs. Some of the ups are as high as mountains and some of the downs are as deep as the Mariana trench. Now when I find myself caring about someone, getting close to them, I think "the joy and laughter we will share will be worth the pain and the tears when it ends." This is no less true now that I myself am married. I know our story will end with one of us buried (as I regularly tell hubbs that the only way we end this is with a body bag) and the other to carry on. They even made a point of telling us this in our pre-marriage classes thru the church. No marriage has a happy ending. 

Apparently this is a quote by Bob Marley. I like it.

I have learned to relish the good and slug thru the bad in the hopes that the bad won't last long and the good will get even better. I knew that life wasn't suddenly going to be perfect when we got married, tho I did hope for a good "pause" in the crazy while we learned to live together. Silly me. Life never pauses because we want it to. How lovely it would be if it did, tho. We have to participate in society and work through the slowest, most expensive apocalypse EVER. I can't shake the feeling that planning for buying a house and retirement is going to be useless considering the inevitable societal collapse that... is coming... then again, I've lived thru like 5 unprecedented economic crisises, so everything seems ultimately pointless. It would be so easy to become a nihilist. Curse my innate optimistic outlook!!

I guess I'm rambling thru all this to say, I've gone a little organization-mad at the apt. Storage containers, donation piles, rearranging the kitchen cabinets, I feel as though everything is being taken over by things out of my control, so I must take back what little control (HA) I have. I'm slowly spiraling into madness as life drags me down and only an organized closet can save me. Lol. Humans are such strange creatures. I've never seen the lilo and stitch with multiple experiments, but I've seen the gif of the sandwich making one. I feel like that. The world has gone mad, but I can still make STACKS of sammiches. Nothing can take that from me! MUAH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!! Ahem... slip of the madness, there. 

A and I had a margarita getaway on thurs. We went to weatherford for happy hour at Rio mambo, then stayed at the super 8 and enjoyed their pool. 😁

Nice, relaxing evening. We had a lovely little getaway. We've decided this needs to be in our rotation along with the every other week margarita therapy. We'll institute an every other month margarita getaway. 

Hubbs and I had a Friday of shopping shenanigans. First lunch at black bear diner, then half price books for me to get a book my counselor recommended, then bath and body works cuz their candles were on sale for $10.99, which is a good price. I signed up for their rewards and got even MORE off, so yay for deals! Finally we ended up at home depot to get screws so we can fix the dresser for hubbs. We also got a light bulb for the living room lamp that DOESNT require an app (but has a remote), plug in air fresheners, and super glue. When we got home, I went on my organizing frenzy in the kitchen, reorganizing a few cupboards, opening up some space. I need to wait for the closet until I get some under the bed storage containers. I did find a skirt I was afraid I'd given away. Turns out, I didn't! Hehe. The purple wrap-around that didn't fit for a while is still in my closet, and I'm slowly getting to where it will fit well. 😁 I am getting rid of those items that don't fit so well or look so good, but I'm hesitant to get rid of anything that I love, but needs me to shrink more. 8 lbs down for the year, so far... slowly getting closer to goal. It is very nice to have a working lamp in the living room, it's cozy for my reading days. 

Saturday we had a 4 year Olds bday party to go to, which was fun. Sunday I went to Mass and then to a thing at a ft worth social club. A boozy library day. My niece in law came with me. We had velvet taco, then looked around the vendors, then went to a used book store in downtown ft worth. Then I went grocery shopping, came home and did my meal prep for the week. I made bbq pork baked potatoes. Should be good juju. 

Velvet taco. Buffalo chicken and Korean fried rice, with queso. 

Fun! 

Truth.

Cute sign.

So we are gearing up for another week of work and such. Same old, same old. Sigh... this weekend will be a different one, with my bestie coming over 😁 I'm looking forward to it.