Life in a spiral

I wondered today, while talking to Dad, if mental health is always a case of being in a spiral, just being in different areas of it.  Like, picture your mental health as a ball, now put the ball into a funnel that is wide at the top, narrowing to a black abyss at the bottom.  Now imagine your mental ball has the ability to not only go around the spiral, but to jump from one area to the other, and travel not only down but up.  It's an interesting thought exercise, and one that I think has merit.  You see, my problem is that my mental health can start down the spiral so slowly that I don't recognize that anything is wrong until it's REALLY wrong.  Sometimes it enters some sort of MC Escher-esque area where I think it's good, but in reality it's BAD.  I think what I'm struggling with is recognizing where I am in the spiral and what is causing the ball to go down.  Then I need to focus on the only thing that I actually can control - my response and thoughts about the things that are causing the downward drop.  I need to stop focusing on 'I deserve to be treated like XYZ' and instead focus on 'I am not being treated well, what can I do to either change this situation or come to terms with this situation/person AS IT/THEY ARE instead of how I think it/they SHOULD/COULD be.'  In other news, water is wet and the sky is blue.  LOL.

Otherwise things are good.  We are continuing to be in a constant state of 'no one knows what is going to happen,' so that's been interesting for your favorite control freak to handle.  Good news is that since I'm not drinking for Lent, I'm saving money because otherwise I'd be going out and having at least some drinks.  So if I can just stay off Amazon and Holy Clothing, I should be ok with the saving $, especially since I'll be working for only 70% of my paycheck while the students aren't here.  I gotta say, teaching without the students has been AWESOME.  It's allowed me to take an extremely needed break to deal with what's been going on in my head.  Between that and the fact that the sun is shining and the weather is warming up, I'm happily at the top of my mental health spiral right now.

As for Corona - well, we have plenty of TP.

I'm wondering if the response in South Korea is less of the hoarding of the rest of the world because of the 'we' versus the 'me' culture.  Don't worry about me, I've been avoiding people and crowds for most of my life, so I feel like I had the cheat codes for social distancing all along.  :)
Mandatory PJ days are my favorites.  Hehe.

Also, I think the computer is officially kaput. 

The good news is that I still have my chromebook and on USA Jobs I at least can use their resume building tool and start applying for jobs now.  I told Gma and Gpa that I'm coming home in 2021 and Gpa at least intends to hold me to that.

On that note, I have come to realize one again how blessed I am to have such great family and friends in my life.  I need to hold to no matter how bleak and dark things may seem at any time, I am loved and cherished on the other side of the world (and by like, maybe 3 people here).  No matter what lies my demons try to tell me, I can hold on to that truth.  I love and miss my people so much, and I did have the thought that no matter where in the US I get a job, it's going to be within driving distance of SOMEONE I love.  :D