Creating a character was interesting and of course I had to call in my favorite King Nerd of all - T from back home. He helped me with the character sheet, gave me some info on how the game has changed and sent me one of my favorite emails ever - "You're a nerd, Mandi." Helps if you read that in Hagrid's voice. (For any who are wondering, I'm a half-elf rouge who used to be an assassin but now apparently I have to be good, so I'm reformed.) We then played some to get used to it - I am the only noob, so it's gonna take me a couple sessions before I'm totally comfortable being in character. I'm also a thespian at heart, so I can see how this will be good for me. The group has a total of 6 people - S, U, T, J, M, and me. In case any extroverts are wondering - a total of 6 counts as a crowd! It's gotten to the point where I swear I can FEEL my social battery getting low. Anyway, we're going to have to be sure to end the sessions early enough that everyone can get home. J and M have about an hour of commuting time, I have 2 (metro then bus). I got home at around midnight last night. So rest assured, in the midst of self-isolation, fears of sickness, and craziness of all kinds - life in Korea is actually pretty well unaffected.
At work we are going to be teaching some of the higher level students online starting next week. So we'll be working from 2-7. We have ensured that all the programs are working properly and personally I'm kind of looking forward to it. I went over the rules with the kids on Friday, and when it comes to classroom management, I have the ability to mute students who are being disruptive.... hehehe... I solemnly swear that I will only use the mute button for good. ;) We are still working for just 70% pay, but frankly I'm happy that we are getting anything. Also, I can live pretty cheaply and frankly since I gave up drinking, it's been REALLY good for my bank account. I also have some money coming to me for the food during immersion and the refund for the lantern fest in April (that's right, no lanterns this year, Daegu was hit pretty hard by Corona so they canceled it).
Otherwise not much is happening. I was reminded yesterday how tired I am of being the 3rd wheel around couples. This does not come from a place of jealousy or anything, it's just awkward for me. I don't mind around M&M or J&D because I have good relationships with all parties involved. However, when I'm friends with only one half of the couple (and it's the male half), it's just awkward. As Phil (from All That Remains) puts it - "I can't help feeling like I've read this book before. Same old story anyway." It's a recurring theme in my world, and to be honest it's not one of my favorites. There have been some things popping up in my Facebook about how to be single during times of self-isolation. I think I've got them pretty well figured out, but I do find myself wishing that I had someone to cuddle and watch movies with right now. Thank God D left me her squishy kitty (Ford Feline) - he's good for cuddles. I need to come back with both my cats - and of course my Boss sharkey shark.
The weather is getting warmer and the trees are starting to blossom. My mental state is still at the top of the spiral. I got to thinking - maybe the spiral mental health metaphor only really works for someone who lives with depression. I mean, that's why it's a spiral and not, say, a shallow groove. Over the years I've trained myself to keep my mental health ball toward the top but sometimes it slips or goes down the spiral so gradually I don't notice in time and I end up where I was last month. What I want you all to understand is that this is my normal. I don't know any other kind of mental state - I know that I am going to cycle between 'life is good, I want to hug everyone I love and bring sunshine to those that I don't' and 'Life is crap, I am nothing, I am unworthy of being loved, I am scum, I deserve everything bad that has ever happened to me.' When I get to that point in the cycle, it's hard to remember that people DO love me, that I have a lot to be grateful for, and that I have a purpose in life. I laugh at the thought of daily affirmations, but those do help to get me out of the spiral. Also remembering to feed my soul is important... God I can't wait for the Cathedral to open again so that I can go to confession. I really need a soul cleansing.
Anyhow... that's the news from across the Pacific. There has been no panic buying of TP or groceries, but there are a lot less people around in Seoul. Everyone wears a mask out in public, unless of course they are eating, and while life isn't totally normal, there is some semblance of it here. Now I'm going to make a roast for an early dinner - I just need to figure out how I want to do the potatoes and what other veggies to go with it... do I want a baked potato? Roasted ranch potatoes? Mashed? Put 'em with the roast and enjoy that way? What about a salad? Or roasted veggies? Do I want bread? OH THE POSSIBILITIES! I must go to the store to see what they have in the way of vegetable sides. :)
Stay safe my friends, my family, my loves!! <3
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