I've been feeling incredibly stressed lately. The crappy thing is that there isn't much I can do to not feel stressed. None of my stressors are things that I can control, so I've just been spiraling down the stress vortex. Listening to Disturbed helped - their Believe album is amazing. Even with the stress, I'm able to have some fun. I ended up taking 2 pix that made me laugh.
Work coffee Mandi. Hehehe - slight difference. The hair has calmed down, lipstick applied, eyes may look more awake... tho I think they look slightly manic... call that the stress showing. I actually haven't been liking any of my pix lately... I can't hide my feelings... I miss not having/admitting my feelings.
On Saturday I went to Costco for the usual stuffs and I realized that waiting for the bus is one of the things I really WONT miss about Korea. There is one bus that goes straight to Costco - it's a 20 min bus ride. Naver (think Google maps, but Korean) only does so well when saying when the bus will be at the stop. It seems like it was 20 mins away for about 40 mins, then it was 3 mins away, then I had to wait for the next one. The bus seems to come every 40-60 mins, so no matter what I'm waiting at the bus stop. This isn't totally terrible because I brought my kindle and could read, but it is a little annoying. I was going to meet up with W on Saturday, but I didn't get home until 3 and I had plans to go out with friends at 6. Texting can be terrible for trying to arrange meeting up and guys, bless em, aren't so great at actually ANSWERING QUESTIONS. I ask where, don't ask when. People don't seem to understand that WHERE DETERMINES THE WHEN!! I was done with public trans at that point. So he asked me to text him when I was done hanging with my friends.
I met up with S and U outside my place and we went to a place called Liverpool Pub. There we met up with K and J. We had some beers, some disappointing nachos, and the fanciest shots of Macallan scotch ever.
The bars are all shutting down at 9 right now because of the corona, so once that happened we went to the square and got beers from the CU, sat around, and continued to talk and drink. S and U took off first, then around midnight or so, K, J, and I decided to call it a night. I texted W when I got home and it turned out he was staying up to watch Liverpool play. He's a Liverpool supporter, and seemed impressed that I knew they were playing (spoiler, J is also a supporter, that's how I knew). I only had a small hangover this morning when I woke up, and I chalk that up to not eating (we thought they'd have pub food... we were wrong) and not drinking enough water when I came home (I was tired, it was bedtime).
So as I've continued talking to guys online I've learned that one of the things I really need to work on is not feeling bad when I'm not interested in someone. I need to be able to say things like 'I'm not really feeling it' or 'I'm actually not interested in meeting up' or even better 'thanks for playing, but bye bye.' I did meet up with W on Sunday and we ended up taking a 2 hour walk all around Dongtan. The funny thing is, when we were walking Dongtan Hill we passed H and his date. H and I met up on Thurs and had coffee and a convo, it was just funny to me that we ran into each other on the hiking trails: each with another person in a date-like way. W seems nice and I definitely prefer meeting for afternoon dates as opposed to evening dates. We shall see what happens. In the meantime, I shall experiment with either telling a guy I'm not interested in continuing to talk, or just stop responding and let that be that.
I got to see a different part of Dongtan today, and I had to take a pic of it.
I have to laugh at myself... as I've mentioned, I've been stressed out. I had a song in my head for a while and I couldn't figure out why until I remembered the background singers lyrics 'don't be so hard on yourself.' I always have and always will be my harshest critic, and part of why I was so stressed out was because I was beating myself up again. I really need to stop doing that. I think because I'm trying to make better decisions in my personal life, if I let something continue longer than it should (mostly because of the ego boost, let's be honest), I beat myself up about it. Sigh... trying to be a better version of yourself is exhausting.
Also, there is a new sammich, wrap, and salad place called Salady. This is their jalapeno chicken salad. It came with an orange chili dressing. Yes, you see salad, rice, beans, chicken, tomatoes, corn, and jalapenos. It was really good! I figure with that place nearby, I don't have to buy salad stuff that eventually goes bad. Hehe. I am planning on making b-fast bagels for lunch on Tue, which should be quite nice. Costco had bagels on sale... and for some reason I've been craving eggs.
Anyway, that's pretty much all that's going on over on this side of the Pacific. Social distancing 2.5 is over as of Sunday, so we're back to normal social distancing 2 - wear masks, avoid crowds, get take-out food if at all possible, cafes can go back to having people in them. The weather has been beautiful and so I've been enjoying having the windows open during the day. I still have my A/C on at night tho... gotta have it cold to sleep. Much love to all of you, here's hoping that Corona has an actual end date... sigh. :* MUAH!
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