Connection

I got to talk to Jess on Thurs night and she said something that resonates so much.  She said something along the lines of "I miss having that connection with someone that means I don't have to make so much of an effort."  She was saying this in terms of her, me, and impromptu margarita dates.  However, that's also what I've been missing.  I miss having the connection where someone knows what I'm always down for and what I'm not.  As well as having another introvert friend who gets that 'hanging out' means the 2 of us in our PJ's binging TV, or if we do go out we both understand that it's going to be just the 2 of us (with option of her hubby, but always pre-confirmed).  I miss all the things that neither of us have to say because we both just KNOW.  That was part of what was so great to have M&M here - again, it was understood that they would not be meeting anyone on purpose because I don't like to share my people when we have a limited time together.  Not having to explain myself to someone is so nice because I no longer feel the need to be defensive or apologetic about who I am.  That's something that I'm struggling with here - feeling like I'm having to defend the fact that I don't like surprises, I need to know exactly who I can expect to see during a group hang-out, and that people understand that when I need to go home, I will.  I kind of feel like I'm being a bit of a (rhymes with witch) when I leave somewhere 'early,' but it's really in everyone's interest.  After all, it's usually my inner meter that tells me when it's time to leave before I do or say something that is actually mean.

So basically, when you have someone in your life that you connect with on that kind of level, be sure that they know how much you love and appreciate them.  To all of you with whom I share this level of connection - I FRIGGIN LOVE AND MISS YOU SO DARN MUCH!!!!

As for the rest of life - I'm struggling with the fact that I've been here a year now and I though I'd be farther along in my savings and stuff to come home with.  As it is, I feel like I'm still spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere.  I know that I'm probably being overly hard on myself, and I'm planning to make sure to curb my spending habits so that I can come home next year, but I hate feeling like I'm never going to get ahead, you know?